Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Passing on the love of running

I have read a couple posts, well, more than a couple, several posts, just this morning (I'm about a week behind in my reading) about parents running with their kids.  It makes me want to run with my sons, I would LOVE to pass on my love of running to them.

Sadly, even though Damian is a very active kid (have you seen all that he does? baseball, gymnastics, basketball, wrestling, and until a couple years ago, soccer) he is not interested in running with me at all.  Last summer I told him I wanted him to stay in shape over the summer.  The year before (2011) he went to my parents' house for a couple weeks (he does every year) and came back quite a bit bigger than he left.  Don't get me wrong, he was never overweight, he has always been a skinny kid, but he wasn't as skinny, most of his pants were too tight on him.  Last year I didn't want that to happen again, so I told him that he was going to start running with me.  I told him that it takes a little bit to get some endurance up, so he only had to go a mile with me at first and then we'd increase his running times.  I think he did it 2 times.  He easily could have gone much farther than a mile.  He just wasn't interested, and I wasn't going to force him, he was 13, and active, he doesn't need me to make him do it.
 
I didn't realize that I have no pictures of him playing basketball.  That't terrible!!
 
So I have another son. . . however, Maddox is only 2.  He's walking, and walking very well, he can even run, and he can jump.  But he's no where near old enough to go for a run with me.  He loves walks, he loves the outdoors.  Anytime the front door is open, he's running to it trying to escape.  But he's not old enough to go for a run with me.  So, how do I start instilling a love of running in him? 

Walking.  He loves to go on a walk.  I don't go on walks with him very often, I need to start this.

Playing running games.  We had some friends over a few weeks ago with some small kids (older than Maddox, younger than D) and I played tag with them.  Maddox didn't understand the concept, but he LOVED the running around with all the kids. 

Setting an example.  I run.  I go out almost 5 days a week (I've been slacking on this for a little while though, but it's still at least 4 days), Maddox watches me lace up my shoes.  He watches me go out the door.  He may not understand right now what I am doing, but he will.

Can you think of any other things I can do?  I would greatly appreciate any and all advice.  What is a good age to start him on short runs?  I'm thinking 5ish, but what about earlier?
                                                                                 

On to another topic.

One of the reasons I decided I wanted another child after 12 years (D was 12 when Maddox was born) was because I've always, ALWAYS wanted a girl.  I also didn't want an "only" child.  I realized though that having a child 12 years after the last one, meant that I'd have 2 only children.  Damian was/is old enough that he will always have only child traits (that's not a bad thing), and he was raised as an only child.   And since D is 12 years older than Maddox, Maddox also will be an only child.

So, I didn't get my girl.  I now have a house of boys.  AND I have 2 only children.  I have been talking to Chris for about a year now about having another child, hopefully a girl.  Chris has really not been agreeable to this.  However, he always says "maybe, let me think about it."  Well, I decided on my birthday last October, that I'd give him a year.  I'm 36, I'm not getting younger, my eggs are aging.  If he hadn't decided by my 37th birthday, then I was going to give up the idea of having a girl. 

In fact, I've already started thinking that maybe I don't want another baby.  After all, I am 36.  If I had not had Maddox, in 4 more years I could possibly have had no kids at home.  (I do realize that young adults are staying home longer and longer, but still 6 years is close too.)  I had Maddox.  So now, I'm looking at 16 years (at least) of having a child at home.  That puts me at 52, instead of 40.  If I have another child, that's another 18 years.  I'll be 54 (actually 57 because I definitely won't have a baby before my next birthday, not to mention it took me a year to get pregnant with Maddox, so that's now 58).  My parents were grandparents at 54.  In fact, I could be a grandparent and still have a child under 18 (even if Maddox is my last child). 

So . . . what happened to bring all this up?  Well, last night Chris said "why are you still on birth control?"  I responded with "because you have been undecided."  He said he thinks I should go off of it.  So now what?  I know there are people that have babies in their 40's, I know that people are getting older and older having kids.  But do I want to be that person? 

And this may sound pathetic, but I am also wondering how that will affect my running.  I had started running a little before I got pregnant with Maddox and then completely stopped because I got so tired in my first trimester I could barely keep my head up while sitting down.  And I want to run Bloomsday next year, and who knows if I'd be able to do that pregnant. 

I don't know what to do.  Chris has taken so long to decide that I am now on the fence, but I have to decide . . . pretty much NOW.   I realize none of you can help me with this decision.  But I can't talk to Chris about it, because I would probably change his mind again and then what would I do if I decided I actually wanted another baby. 

4 comments:

  1. Well, I can understand your concerns about having another baby. However, I was 35 when I had my daughter and 37 when I had my son (and the door is only about 95% shut at this point....). But, I can understand it would be harder when you already have 2 kids with such an age difference. I don't really have any advice for you since everyone is different. But I will say that girls are great fun!

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    1. Thank you Melinda. It actually helps a lot to hear that there are other mothers out there that have kids at an "older" age.

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  2. As I was starting to read about the baby thing my first thought was "wow, how is this going to affect her running." But you know what? It may temporarily put it on hold a bit. (maybe not.....you are much more dedicated now I versus when you were pregnant with Maddox...you may fly through it and run the whole time). But even if you stop, it will only be temporary. You love it too much. Love for your unborn child would outweigh the negative of temporarily stopping. (yeah yeah yeah, I'm preaching and getting sappy).

    My advice. Go off the birth control. It took you a year last time. If it's meant to be you will be pregnant when the time is right. If it's not meant to be, you will not get pregnant. Roll with it and let nature take it's course!!!!

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  3. MaryFran, You are always such an encouragement. I don't know if you realize how much, even to strangers like me. =)

    Reading your comment I had the thought "You know you're a runner when you worry how pregnancy will affect your running." =) I guess great minds think alike.

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