Monday, June 30, 2014

My last week

Not working has really screwed up my blogging schedule.  Once again, it's been a week since I last posted.  Well, I won't be posting again until at least Thursday night or Friday, we're leaving to go camping tomorrow. 

Last Tuesday we went to eastern WA to visit with Chris's family. 
Damian drove while I sat in the back seat.
D and Uncle Jeff "attacking" Grandpa.
The view as I sat outside and let Maddox play.
D shooting a BB gun and Maddox "shooting" a pipe.  =)
I ran 4 miles on Tuesday and 5 miles on Wednesday while I was there.  I finally decided on a marathon training plan.  I like it because it is 5 days a week, and it actually has you running 26 miles.  I have never understood why a training plan doesn't have you run the actual distance you are training for.  (Granted I did not run 13 miles before my first half, but I was more than a little worried about it, and 6 miles is an awfully long ways to leave to "chance.")
We came home on Thursday and that was Chris's birthday so we did presents and cheesecake when we got home.

Friday I ran with a friend.  I'm super excited to have a friend to run with.  We have run together once before this, but with me working and she likes to run in the morning, our schedules never worked out.  She has 2 kids and I have Maddox. She was planning on bringing her double stroller for her kids and let me borrow her single stroller for Maddox.  It was very nice.  Her 4 year old stroller is a million times better than my 15 year old stroller. 
I really didn't feel like running on Saturday, but decided I should to make sure I got my 100 miles in for June.  I decided to only run 3 miles and it was kinda perfect.  I ran negative splits for the run, which I rarely ever do, and wasn't actively trying.  My average pace was 8:10min/mile.  I was dying, but I kept telling myself it was only 3 miles and I could do 3 miles fast.  =)
Sunday my scheduled long run (according to marathon training) was only 6 miles.  It seems so odd to be running 28 and 27 miles a week and then start training, and the scheduled miles for the first week is only 16 miles.  I did more than (25 miles) that because I needed to hit 100 miles but it just is strange to me.
Anyway, Maddox and I hung out alone yesterday.  He took pictures on my phone.
 We played with play dough.
 Until he discovered the knife worked good as a sword.  =)
Today I ran again with my friend.  I'm hoping this is going to be a weekly thing.  We only did 3 miles, but that put me over my 100 miles, so that makes me happy.  102.07 miles for June.
After running with her I went to work for the very last time.  The contract is officially over today, so I turned in my keys and went to court to say goodbye for the final time.  It was pretty hard for me today.  I thought I had gotten over it, afterall, I haven't worked for 2 weeks, but it was just emotional to me today. 
I have a lot of anger over the situation, but I'm hopeful this will be a good step towards a new and better job.  =)

Monday, June 23, 2014

Marathon training

This evening we are headed to eastern WA to see Chris's family.  Chris's sister had some difficulties about a month ago, and this is the first time we've been able to get over there.  We'll be over there until Thursday, so I don't know if I'll get another post in before I get back (very doubtful, because I don't think there's internet there).

Last week was a good week running-wise.  I ran 27.4 miles. 

Thursday Chris and I took Maddox for a walk.  He got a scooter for his birthday and he loved every minute of the walk.

The cupcakes I made for Maddox's birthday.  I think they
turned out great looking.  =)
Friday morning I went running with my old pastor.  She is a really fabulous person and I loved her as my pastor.  Our running schedules have never meshed so we have never ran together, well, I guess I did once a long time ago, but not since that one time.  It's interesting how people evolve running-wise.  When I ran with her a little less than 3 years ago she was faster than me, and I had a hard time keeping up with her.  On Friday, I wasn't winded at all.  In fact, she was quite a slow runner.  We did a couple small hills and I felt that I could have walked (fast) and kept up, but of course I didn't.  Running with her was not about the speed or the distance, but more about the company, and that was fabulous.  =)

Saturday I went to Lynnwood to hang out with my sister.  We did some shopping (I spent way too much at Goodwill, a consignment shop, and Old Navy, but did not buy the shoes I really, REALLY wanted at DSW).  When I got home I thought about skipping my run because I needed to make dinner, however, I decided to do 4 miles and I'm glad I did.

Before I left on Saturday I set up Maddox's "wading" pool.  It is much bigger than I thought it would be.  He played in it all morning, and I told Damian to let him continue to play until lunch.  This morning Maddox was up with Chris and I had to get up at 6:30am when Chris left.  Maddox was ready to go outside at 7.  We were out there by 7:30am and he was super excited to be in the pool. =)
I once again got Damian up early today so I could go for a run.  I was going to do 8 miles, but then remembered an add-on that I haven't done in awhile, so I figured I'd do it and see how many miles it would be, I figured 9, and I was right on.

While I was running, a car stopped at an intersection and I thought they were waiting for me, however, they never really looked at me, so I looked across the road and saw a cow out of it's pasture.  I jumped a little and they guys in the car laughed and said something to me (I didn't quite hear them and can't remember what my impression was).  I kept running, but once I got down the road a ways I thought I needed a picture so I stopped and took one.  The cow was following me.  =)  Cows don't scare or bother me, I grew up with them, but I thought it strange that it was following me.  However, it turned when it heard another "moooo" so I think it was just trying to find it's way back to the other cows.

I am planning on running in eastern WA.  I have to in order to get 100 miles for June.  Not sure what days, probably just Wednesday and take Tuesday and Thursday as my days off.

I almost forgot, today starts day one of marathon training.  Officially it's supposed to be a rest day, but because I'm thinking I'm going to take Tuesday off, I am going to run 5 miles today.  I don't know if I'll be following the plan I downloaded (Hal Higdon's) because it starts out with 3 miles, 5 miles, 3 miles, and 8 miles and that's not enough to get me to 100 miles a month, plus, I already run more than that.  So my plan (for now) is to follow the long run distances and maybe when I get higher in mileage I'll decrease my weekly runs to follow them (although they increase with the long run miles). 

I do like this training plan, and I like the idea of actually running 26 miles before the actual marathon.  I know that "traditional" thinking says if you can run 20 miles, you can run 26 miles, but 6 miles is a long distance to not actually run as part of your training.  I have a few weeks to officially decide as Hal Higdon's plan starts at less than what I am currently running, and the other one starts even less than Hal's. 

Another thing I almost forgot, as I write this I am wearing a size 6 pair of sorts from Old Navy. I do believe Old Navy's sizes run large, but how exciting that I have a pair of 6's and that are a little loose and very comfy! I didn't even wear 6 in high school. =)

Friday, June 20, 2014

Friday?! Already??

I need to set up some sort of routine to blog.  I'm used to doing it at work, so I haven't posted anything all week.  I started this on Monday while I was sitting at work for a little bit, but didn't finish it, and this is the first I've come back to it.  Here is what I wrote on Monday:
So here I sit.  I worked at this job for 4 years and 3 months and I told my coworker I'd come be at group with her today and go to court with her this afternoon.  I'm getting paid through the end of June whether I sit at home, or go to work, so it's no big deal.  But like I said, I worked here for 4+ years and I forgot that group started at 11am, not 10am.  So I sit here with nothing to do.  My desk is empty, my office space is barren, I don't even have my lamps that make the room more homey.  I'm frustrated with myself.  Oh, well.
Here are the pictures of how I left my office on Friday.  I love it.  =)  I especially love that I thought to put an outline of my high heel on my head.  (Which is barely visible in the picture.)  My supervisor saw it right away on Friday and said something to me that evening on Facebook.  I was hoping it would take them a while to see it, but oh well. 

Last week I ran 28 miles. =)  That's pretty good.  Friday and Saturday I did 5 miles and had nothing notable about those runs.  Yesterday (Sunday) I ran 8.5 miles and again, nothing notable.  Sorry.  ; )

This week has been fairly busy.  Monday I was at work, Tuesday I went and (finally) got my car back, Wednesday was Maddox's birthday and we had Damian's dentist appt in the AM and Maddox had a dr appt in the afternoon.  Then dinner and presents and cake.  Thursday I went to work for a goodbye potluck and here I sit today. 
Birthday boy, 3 years old
Running this week.  Tuesday and Wednesday was both 5 miles.  On Tuesday my old pastor messaged me on Facebook and asked if I wanted to go run with her that morning.  I wasn't prepared to run at that time, I had just eaten, and was still drinking my coffee, so I said no, but we schedule time today.  I'm going to her house and we're going to run 5 miles.  I don't know how fast she is or anything, so hopefully I don't die. 

Tomorrow I'm possibly going to my sister's house in Lynnwood for the afternoon.  Next week we're going to Chris's dad's house.  His sister hasn't been doing well, and we're going over to visit her on Chris's days off. 

Friday, June 13, 2014

So this is it . . .

It's 5:20 am, I've been awake since 5 and I can't go back to sleep.  Today is the last day of my job and I'm a lot more sad than I thought I would be.  The whole process has been dragged out for way longer than it should have.  I am a mixture of extreme sadness and some anger and a lot worried and a little excited.  I have been going through my days pretty bored at work, finishing up loose ends and doing a lot of nothing, however, today is going to be a hard day for me. 

Last night I went to bed and decided to look at my phone one more time before going to sleep.  I got this message from my closest coworker:

   "I can't believe tomorrow is your last day! it's going to be lonely and very weird without you. if you haven't noticed yet, I've been honing my avoidance skills and that's why I haven't been back to your office. I really don't care to see it empty! I've never worked so closely with someone for so long and I'm so glad that person has been you for the past 4 years. you are an amazing woman and so good at what you do, and I will miss you so very much. great, now I'm crying. Again. Thank You Skagit County for taking my job away. ugh"

And of course I spent the next 30-45 minutes bawling.  I can't even get down all that I feel and all that I want to say. 

Four years and three months ago I started this job.  I was scared and I had no idea what I was doing.  My coworker, Heidi, started Mental Health Court the same day as me (she already worked at Compass, was just taking a different job internally), I never would have guessed at how closely or how well we would work together.  One of the biggest reasons I stayed at that job for so long was because of her.  I know I will never, ever find a situation where I work as closely or as well with someone else.  And honestly, I mourn that more than anything.

I am worried about my clients.  I've heard rumors that the new agency they are going to is not very good.  I heard one just yesterday from another coworker about one of her clients that was pretty stable and then went to this new agency and decompensated very badly, with the person that has my job as his case manager.  I don't want my clients to fail because of the incompetency of the people running the program. 

At the same time that I don't want the clients to fail the program, I want the program itself to fail.  When my coworker and I took over the program, it was small and pretty much not doing well.  With my coworker leading the way, the program grew, and we were at capacity for much of the 4 years we did it.  We had a higher success rate than it has ever had and many of the clients that successfully graduated are continuing to do very well in the "real" world.  I don't know if that success can be obtained with this new agency.  It's all about the money, not about the people and that is the trouble with the world.

Later . . .
 My supervisor told me to sign the wall in the office space I work in.  My "office space" used to be a storage room, it has no ventilation, no windows and I share it with filing cabinets.  But it has been my space.  I was offered several times to move out into the regular part of the office, but I like my quiet "cave" so I always turned it down.  My supervisor said that sometime in July she's going to come in and take down the cubicles (there are two) and will convert it back to a storage area, or maybe a group room.  I sat here through 5 different CDP's (Chemical Dependency Professionals) and yet I have remained. 
I'm going to put caution tape up on the door to my space and a sign that says "The CAVE is closed" when I leave today, it's going to be the last thing I do.  Chris told me to also put a chalk outline on my floor, but I'm not sure if I should do that.  I have the chalk . . .

I will take a picture, but I've been having problems posting pictures on my home computer, so I don't know if I will be able to or not.  I hope to get the problem fixed soon.

My sister called just as I was finishing up a card for my coworker.  All she said was "how are you?" and I started bawling.  It really wasn't her that made me cry, but I had been holding back my tears while I wrote the card and then her asking how I was opened the flood gates.  I calmed down and we talked for a little bit. 

That's all I've got today.  Next week I'll be better, although, I may not be as diligent as posting this summer, I want to get out and be active with my time off.  =)

Wednesday, June 11, 2014


I was reading Kyra the other day, and was looking at some of her old posts when I found this post. She was talking about the finale of Biggest Loser and the winner being too thin.  (She has since gained some weight back and looks better.)  Anyway, the end of her post said this:

"We may not have confetti raining down on us as we step on our scale or lace up our shoes, but doing the right thing day in and day out without the fanfare is just as important because we are real. We exist. We are your neighbors, your family members, your coworkers. We have families and work problems. We experience loss and heartache as well as triumph and successes. We are tangible, and we are in front of each other, creating the normal that should have never been lost in the first place. Aren't you glad you have the opportunity to be a part of that?" 

And it struck a chord in me.  I had to share it. =)

Anyway, Monday I took a rest day.  I went to Damian's last baseball game.  It was a nice evening and they played really, really well.  Damian scored a homerun and caught the final ball to get the last guy out, clinching their win.  I didn't post many (if any) pictures of him playing this year (mainly because I have so many pictures of Damian playing baseball throughout the years that I didn't take many) but here is his last game.  =)

Damian is playing second, he isn't the pitcher.  =)
A close-up of the first picture.
Damian's main position is catcher, he's been at that position for
 most of his 9 years playing.
Up at bat, he hit a triple right after the picture was taken
He over ran 3rd pace. =)
 I ran 5 miles yesterday and am planning 4 or 5 today.

I am doing a lot of cleaning at my desk this week.  Don't have a whole lot of actual work to do, so have to do some sorting and a little bit of filing.  I've been really sad and have cried quite a bit this week.  I'm kinda over it, but I know I have 2 more days of it.  Friday will be a terrible day for me.  I am ready for the weekend.  =)

Monday, June 9, 2014

Happy Monday

I had a pretty good weekend.  It was really nice here.  I had Friday off to use up the rest of my sick time and other random time off I get every year, plus, my daycare was closed.  Maddox and I just hung out at home.  We went outside for a good part of the morning.  I set a sprinkler to water my vegetable garden.  My hose is really old and has a pretty decent hole in it, I haven't minded the hole too much because it doesn't affect the water pressure and I can aim it at my flowers and let it water that too.  Anyway, Maddox is super fascinated by the water.  He wouldn't run though the spray, but he'd run behind it and put his hand in it.  =)
My Mom came to visit on Friday for the weekend.  Damian's last baseball games were scheduled for yesterday (a double header) (I found out at the game he's got one more today, a make up game) and she hadn't been to any yet this year.  She likes to come to at least one of his sports events, and this was the first she was able to.  We had a good visit, she took me to get a pedicure and we pretty much didn't do anything else but visit.  =)

Saturday night Maddox woke up screaming.  I picked him up and he was boiling hot.  I gave him some children's motrin and took him to bed with me.  He was so sick yesterday, he didn't get off my lap at all in the morning.  In the late morning I decided I needed to get my long run done, so I set him down on the couch to go get ready.  When I came back he was wrapped in a very warm blanket asleep.  I didn't want him sleeping with that hot blanket with his temperature, so I pulled it off him and again he was really hot.  I gave him some more Motrin but he wouldn't sit with my Mom, he only wanted me, so I had to sit there for a little while holding him waiting for the Motrin to kick in.  It finally did and he let me leave.  Poor guy.  =(

I ended up taking him to Damian's games, mostly because I thought they were his last games of the season and there's no guarantee about next year.  Next year he'll be too old for Little League and he didn't make it on the high school team this year, so who knows about next.  Anyway, Maddox, I think, felt a little better.  He played some, and then would come sit down with me for a little bit and then go play again. 

He's doing a little better today.  My mom decided to stay another day so she could watch Maddox for me today.  This is my last week of work and I don't really want to call in sick (not to mention that I used all my sick time).  My Mom has to go home tomorrow though, so hopefully he's better then. 

I ended up not running on Friday, just lazy.  But I did do almost 6 and a half miles on Saturday.  Taking so much time off last week was something I think I needed.  I had been dreading my runs so much, but both runs I did last week (Wednesday and Saturday) felt really good.  I felt accomplished and enjoyed both runs a lot.

Yesterday I ran 8 miles.  It was a very good run.  I actually thought about adding a little in the middle to make it 8.5 miles, but I need some sort of energy boost for anything longer than 8 miles and I didn't grab anything before I left the house.  I always lose the (expensive) energy gels I buy, so I have been using some fruit gummies that we buy for Maddox.  I think they work okay, but I think if I'm going to increase my distance for marathon training I'm going to have to figure out how to NOT lose the energy gels, because they definitely work better. 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Running like a girl

So, I went running on Wednesday.  And it was fantastic!  I enjoyed every minute of it, no joke.  It was a nice change from the last several weeks of dreading my runs and feeling like I'm running through peanut butter.  I ended up doing 5 miles, and I think I'm going to go run again today.

I was worried about rubbing my tattoo on my shirt as I ran, but I kept my elbow out and ran like a girl.
elbows out, arms crossing chest
This type of running was actually what I was told NOT to do when I "learned" to run in 6th grade.  My PE teacher told me that it's not effective and makes you work harder.  Your arms are supposed to go straight like your legs (unless you were like one of my classmates who kicked her legs out sideways when she ran) (I wish I had a picture of it).  Running like that felt awkward because I consciously try not to let my elbow go out or my hand cross my chest too much, but it caused no friction at all.

I was thinking I'd go for a run yesterday, but when I got home it was quite sunny and warm.  I guess I just decided to skip it.  Instead I went for a walk with Chris and Maddox.  Maddox is at that age where everything is a wonder to him.  He'll see something and stop, point, and look up with that look of wonder on his face, and then depending on what it is, he'll run after/towards it.  It's super cute.  It's the same with sounds.  He loves birds, and planes, and pretty much anything that flies. If he hears a plane, he will stop and look for it until he finds it, and then he'll watch it until it goes out of sight.  He's done this forever, he started it at Damian's baseball games last year.

I think I'll go running today.  It looks like my tattoo is almost healed and besides that, running on Wednesday didn't affect it at all.  5 miles today, 5 miles Saturday, 8+ miles Sunday, that will be perfect to reach 100 miles for June even though I missed several days this week.

I was talking to my sister on the way home from eastern WA last weekend and she told me to sign up for the marathon in the fall that I've been thinking of.  She told me that I will regret it if I don't do it.  And she's right.  (She's not a runner at all.)  So I'm going to sign up, which means that I have to start training the 23rd of June.  I'm scared.  Very, very scared.

I'm doing good with my plank/squat/pull-up challenge.  Wednesday was planking for 1min 30 secs, squatting 60 times (I'm using a 15 lb kettlebell) and 6 pull-ups.  Yesterday was a rest day.  Pull-ups are hard.  I can barely do 2 in a row and then I have to give myself a break.  I tried to do a 7th one, and I couldn't do it at all (not even if I jumped to start it).  I don't know how improved those will get.  Tomorrow is 90 squats, and considering how hard the 75 on Tuesday and the 60 on Wed. were, 90 may kill me.  =)

Yesterday at work it really hit me that I only have one week left.  I am really sad about it.  Much sadder than I expected I would be.  It's not that I really, really love my job, but I do enjoy it, and I do like it.  I like the people I work with, especially the one coworker I work closely with.  And I really love seeing the progress of my clients.  It's a court ordered program, so they are required to do what we tell them.  Honestly, I think it makes the process actually much faster.  At first they only do it to avoid trouble, and then at about a year into the program (it's a 2 year program) they start doing it because they see the benefit and realize they like what they are learning and who they are becoming. 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Go run!

Today is National Running Day.  Friday is National Donut Day.  =)  Just thought you should know.

I may run today.  After all, I have to celebrate National Running Day, right?  I'd like to do 5 miles (my normal run) but not sure if I should.  I REALLY don't want to have to go get my tattoo touched up again.

I officially have 6 days left of work.  And nothing to do at work.  The closer it gets, the sadder I am.  This may not be my favorite job ever, but I enjoy it.  I especially enjoy my coworkers.  I like my clients and I like watching the successes they have over the 2 years they are in the program.  That may actually be my favorite part, seeing the difference this program can make in someone's life.  It really is amazing.

I don't have a lot to say.  That is what happens when I don't run.  Running gives me things to blog about. 

I suppose I could tell you about Maddox's potty training (it's going fantastic! no accidents since he pooped on my mom's welcome mat on Sunday morning). 

Damian's last baseball game is this Sunday.  My Mom's coming to town this weekend to watch the game. 

Saw this and really liked it, so I'm sharing.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

A rambling post

Another busy weekend for me.  It seems the older I get, the busier I get.  Maybe it's just having kids, and as they get older, they get busier.  My sister, Nancy, and I went to eastern WA this last weekend because my cousin's son is graduating high school and we wanted to go to his reception (the graduation isn't until the 12th, but we can't go to that).  We wanted to make a big deal out of his graduation because he has no support from his father (my cousin), who has custody, but has pretty much abandoned his 4 kids to his disabled, hoarder mother, and refuses to accept that his ex-wife has turned her life around and would be 100% better for them than his mother.  (There is a lot of history there, and I really don't care for that part of my family.)  I really do admire the 2 middle kids, they got themselves out (are living with my aunt, not their grandma) and are finishing school.  (The oldest had a kid at 14 and another at 17 and is pregnant with her 3rd at 19 and the youngest son, who's only 14, is still stuck with his disabled grandma.) 
We went to the park before our tattoo
touch up.
My niece had a birthday.  My sister's bird LOVED Damian.
Damian, and my nephew, and Maddox
helping my dad with his sprinklers.
(That's my parents' backyard, it's huge)
Damian read to Maddox before bed

We also went over to spend some time with my Dad, who has had a lot of health problems recently.  And to get our family tattoos touched up.  I had a really great visit with my parents.  And finally remembered to ask them to write something for another tattoo idea I have.

Now I can't decide, do I put "Me too, Daddy" underneath my Mom's (Daddy is what we all call him) or the "Da, Luv Ya, Pa" (which was what he used to write me in college)(I used to say "Pa" and he started calling me "Da," sometimes he'd write "Da #3" cause I'm the third child)??  I love both.

When I got my family tattoo touched up, I asked the guy about running with it, and he said that is likely the reason it got so faded.  I rubbed it too much.  So I have decided to not run this week.  I may go crazy and I'm going to hate myself at the end of the month when I'm trying to get 100 miles done, but I don't want to go back and get this tattoo touched up again.  It's painful, and it would just mean that I have to stop running again. 

I saw on Facebook that someone had posted a squat challenge (I believe it was Sexy Mother Runner, I can't tag her right now, but you can search for her if you're interested) and decided to get out the old plank challenge I did in November and combine the two.  I started on Sunday, and after I was done I did 3 pull-ups on Damian's pull-up bar (that's all I could do, and they weren't in a row).  Yesterday I decided to add pull-ups to my "challenge."  So I came up with a calendar and this is what I'm doing.  I'm aiming for a 5 min plank by the end of June.  On Sunday I planked as long as I could and started with that number (1 min) instead of the 20 sec the challenge actually starts with.  I originally followed the plan exactly, adding the same amount of time the plan did every day to my higher number, however, I didn't even get to 4 min that way.  So I increased the amount of time I added at the beginning of the challenge so I could get to 5 min.  =) I'm using a 15lb kettlebell when I squat.

I'm sure you're all sick of my weight posts, but I am pretty proud of myself.  Last Wednesday (my official weigh-in day) I weighed 143.8.  Friday morning I was right around 144.6 and I said that my goal was to come back from eastern WA with a weigh in of 144.X.  Well, yesterday morning I was 143.8 and this morning I was 144.0.  Fantastic!  =)  I'm not expecting a drop tomorrow, but I hope to maintain where I am. 

This weekend is another long weekend for me.  I have Friday off because I have no daycare (she's going to a graduation) and then next week is my last week of work.  It's also the first week in almost 2 months that I will be working a full 5 days because I've taken so much time off lately.  I suppose I can suck it up and work 5 days for my last week, but it's going to be rough!!  ; )