Monday, August 22, 2016

Another week gone

Well, I'm back to work.  I've been back for a week now.  It was tough to come back, the weather got really nice the last half of the week and it made it a lot more difficult to leave.  The first half of the week I was swimming 2x a day for 30 min and then after the weather got nice, it got harder for me to go swim for exercise.  I don't know why it got harder.  I skipped Friday, and then only did one 30 min swim Thursday and one on Saturday. 
I asked Damian to take a couple
pictures, and this was the best one.
The last full day we were there (Sunday) we had to go to Chris's brother's wedding.  It was a very nice location, a ranch only 45 min from where we were staying, and a nice day (but a little too hot).  We were asked to be there an hour early, I thought for pictures, but then we just stood around and melted.  Then the wedding was 45 min late, and we continued to melt.  The reception was beer (cheap beer) and water, which was very sad for me as I don't drink beer.  We waited an hour for them to join the reception, and then after the dances were over (daughter/father, bride/groom, and groom/stepkids) they disappeared again and were gone for the rest of the reception. 

I took Maddox for a walk, and ended up with another little girl, who was 2.  She was really cute, but after 2 or 3 hours she

 started getting tired and didn't want to listen to me anymore.  I handed her back to her mom and dad.  It was a long day, and I got pretty bored.  I felt like it was a waste of my last day of vacation.  I got cheated out of one more day of floating in the lake.  Oh well.  I couldn't say I wasn't going to go.  =/

I got back last week with the intention of joining the YMCA.  I was going to swim and do a couple cycle classes.  Well, I was looking at they pool schedule and noticed that it said the pool will be closed from 8/20-8/29 for maintenance.  There goes those plans.  =/  So I started looking at other options.

My sister goes to LA Fitness, so I asked her about it, and she said she could get me a 2 week pass to go "try it out."  So I decided to do that.  There's one in Everett where I work, and I can go right after work.  They have cycle classes Monday and Wednesdays at 5:30, which is a little late, but doable. 

I decided to go for a run last Tuesday to test my ankle, which did nicely and then I went to the YMCA on Wednesday as a drop in to swim ($10 for a drop in, seems steep).  Then I started my 2 weeks at LA Fitness on Friday and swam for 30 min.  I thought swimming back and forth at the lake was hard, it's much harder in a pool.  I think that's because the laps are longer.  I have to stop and rest every half lap.  It's hard! 

I ran again yesterday, and again, my ankle seems to be doing okay.  It still is sore, tomorrow it'll be the most sore, but it's so much better than it was. 

If you know me, which no one that reads this really does, you know that I love shoes, specifically heels.  So not only does my ankle affect my running, but also my shoe choices.  I really, really miss my shoes.

Well, I probably could type more, since it's been 11 days since my last post, but I'll leave it at this for now.  Below are more pictures of my vacation.  ; )
I read a lot.  I didn't bring enough books, I ran
out at the end of the week.

Damian lost his shoe in the lake pulling the
boat up to the dock, and instead of floating
in, like we had been all week, it started floating
out, so he had to grab a raft and row himself to
get his shoe.  It was hilarious.
Waiting for the wedding, that is Damian's cousin, that we've
only met one other time.

The boys drinking . . . and waiting.

The kids waiting.

Maddox and the little girl I watched watching
the horses.

Thursday, August 11, 2016


Another 3 weeks since I posted last, this is getting to be a bad habit.

Currently I am sitting at my family's lake house in eastern WA watching the ducks play in the lake.  It hasn't been as nice weather-wise as it was a yer ago, which has been very sad.  We came here to enjoy the hot weather and float in the lake, and sadly it's been cloudy and raining and not very warm.

 Today is the first morning I've woken up and seen sun on the lake.
It has made for some pretty spectacular sunsets though.

Today my parents are coming up and bringing their boat.  I'm conflicted about this, because it's supposed to be the nicest day so far (each day has progressively gotten better, but today is supposed to be sunny, instead of "partly cloudy") and I'd really like a day to float on the lake.  Plus, while I love my parents, they are not drinkers, and I always feel like I need to either not drink around them, or hide it.  I've mostly grown out of that feeling, but there is always that thought in my head, "is my mom judging me for my 3rd glass of wine?"  ; )

Running-wise, I'm not.  I keep comparing myself to myself a year ago.  A year ago I was training for a marathon and on this trip I did a 10 mile run in unfamiliar territory, got almost attacked by a dog (probably my scariest run ever) and was at my most physically fit since high school, maybe even ever. (If you check out that link, look at my face, it's so skinny compared to now, that was a hard post to look at with my stupid comparative issues I'm going through now. Oh, and I miss my long hair.) I was also the smallest I've ever been (even in high school), wearing a size 6 (something I've never worn before).  This year, I'm back up to at least 7 lbs (which I know isn't a lot, but it feels like a lot) I'm pushing a size 10, and just generally feeling bad about myself.  It's hard, I know that I'm not fat, I know that it's temporary, but it's the thoughts in my head and the frustrations of not being able to run regularly.

Here are some comparison photos, maybe not a good thing to post given my current thoughts about my weight.

I really am trying to tell myself it's temporary, let my ankle heal properly and I'll be able to run again, and hopefully fit the size 6 pair of pants I had to put in my closet.

While I'm here I'm swimming. I'm forcing myself to go do "laps" 2 times a day for 30 min each.  I am enjoying the exercise, but it's hard.  I used to love swimming.  We had a pool in our backyard growing up and I was swimming almost daily, but now, I just miss running.  Plus, swimming is hard work.  I can't breathe properly, and I'm seriously scared of open water.  I hate seaweed, and not knowing what's under me.  It really, really freaks me out.  So much so that when I'm tubing on my parents' boat I have to practice breathing exercises when I fall off the tube so I don't have a panic attack.

I'm using goggles while I swim, so that has helped a lot with my irrational fears, but I still turn around once I hit the seaweed so it doesn't touch me.  (you can laugh, it's okay)

I've never used goggles before.  Damian has always asked me for them and I always thought they were silly and useless.  They are amazing.  I don't know if I'll ever swim without them again.  

I've decided I'm going to join the Y when I get home, at least for one month.  My ankle seems to be doing okay with the swimming, and I can do spin classes and swim.  This means I'm gonna have to buy some goggles (the ones I'm wearing here aren't mine) and a one piece suit.  In good news, my   upper body and back will be super sexy.  =)

I've made a rule for myself, I can't drink any alcohol until I've swam.  It is working.  It was super, super hard to get in the water on Tuesday, that was the worst weather wise, it was cold and rainy, and I just didn't want to do it. But I'm getting my swims in early, once in the morning, and once in the early afternoon, or late morning.

So, what happened to my race a month until my 40th birthday goal?  Well, I planned to do a race on July 30th.  I didn't preregister, because in true Cathy fashion, I waited for the last min and the price went up anyway, so I decided just to do day of race registration.  I noticed that all of the July races were on the 4th of July, but I wanted to wait as long as possible to let my ankle heal.  The only one I could find after the 4th was one in Ferndale (about 45 miles north of me).  It was the Old Settlers 5k.  Well, I got there and they had canceled it, the night before, and not posted it anywhere (I looked at the website before leaving home for the address).  

I had told Chris' old roommate and friend, who lives in Ferndale, that I was going to run that race and he said he might join me.  I text him when I found out it was canceled and he asked if I wanted to run with him anyway.  I said sure, so we met up and went for a run.  The route we took was 4 miles, and I seriously about died.  I had told him that I hadn't run in a while and needed to go slow.  He said he was fine with that because he had run the Ragnar a few weeks before and was still recovering, plus, he had his son with him and was going to push him.  

I've run with him once before, a year ago, and he says one speed, but is ultimately faster.  We started out at a good pace, 10 min/mile, and then at mile 2.5 he was going 9:20 min/mile.  I was dying and told him I needed to slow down but he could go ahead.  I think I finished at 11 min/mile, or so. 

So my question is, can I count that run as my July race?  It wasn't my fault the race was canceled and I still ran.  Plus, I stopped mapmyrun at 3.16 miles to pretend that it was a 5k. . .  I feel like I can count it.  So I think I'll add it to my ticker (that doesn't seem like the right word) on the side.   

So I'm going to leave you with a couple pictures from our trip.  =)  Maddox is adorable, by the way.
He was ready to go!

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

It's been awhile

Wow!  My last post was almost 3 weeks ago.  I've said this before, but when I don't run I feel like my brain doesn't work as much.  I don't have as much to say because I'm not running.

And I'm still not running.  We're at week 10, exactly today.  I have a friend on Facebook that is a nurse, he lives in Virginia, but he's been very interested in my running since I started and he asks me regularly how things are going.  About a week ago I chatted with him, and sent a picture of my ankle from 2 days after I sprained it.  He told me it looks and sounds like a Grade 2 sprain and that can take 14 weeks to heal. =/  He told me to take some supplements that may help and gave me some advice.  Really he gave me more information and advice than the dr did at week 5. 

I got a brace and have been wearing it.  Usually when it bothers me or when I'm walking a lot. 

I started thinking about joining a gym again.  When I was struggling with plantar faciitis, I joined the YMCA, which, in Mt. Vernon, is really kind of a crappy facility, but was cheap and they did monthly memberships with no commitments.  But the exercises I would do still involve my ankle, swimming and cycle.  So I haven't done that yet.  Plus, my sister told me I should wait 2 weeks, quit running sporadically (I was averaging a run a week) and just let it heal and see what happens.  So I'm in my 3rd week of that.

This weekend I am running a race, I have to maintain my goal of a race a month, but it will be a slow race since I haven't run at all since July 4th. 

Another change I have done is I've started being completely honest with my food.  And I've gone over my calories everyday. 

I'm still undecided about a gym.  My work has a thing through insurance that if I joined a gym I would get reimbursed some for going, as long as I go 12 times a month.  That would be nice.  I think the Y is $55? so if I was reimbursed for $20 of that, I'd only be paying $35.  I don't know.  I don't know if I should be doing anything on my ankle at all. . . But I'm dying to exercise.  I miss it.  I especially miss not feeling bloated all the time. 

I keep telling myself this is temporary and if I just let it heal I'll be able to run, but it's very, very frustrating. 

At this point, running a marathon , at least for the October marathon, is out.  =(  I have 13 Saturdays before the marathon, and I don't think that's enough time.  I'm not running at all, and haven't done any long runs for 10 weeks, so my endurance is gone, and more importantly, my ankle isn't healed yet.  Maybe I'll look into marathons in December.  I know there's a local one on December 31st, that might be a fun way to celebrate the end of 2016. 

Thursday, July 7, 2016

tracking issues

I have been "tracking" my food for 270 days, according to The thing with this is that I log in to track my breakfast, that's usually the easiest, eggs, creamer, milk, and coffee, and don't always do my lunch and dinner. But it's just to keep my streak going.  I'd like to get to one year of tracking.  But I'm not really tracking what I eat.  I log in, to log in, I put in my breakfast, sometimes in the late evening, just so that I don't lose my streak.  I very rarely track any snacks that I eat, or afternoon coffee I may drink.  IF I put in dinner, I usually put in the glass, or two, of wine that I drank, but then if I happen to have more before bed (weekends usually) I rarely track that. 

Why do I bring this up?  Because since I haven't been running, I've gained some weight.  I currently sit at or just below 150.  The end of the summer I was sitting really, really close to 140, which is really where I'd like to be.  I felt fabulous there.  I do not feel fabulous at 150.  I can look at 270 days of tracking and think, why am I not at a fabulous weight?  I'm not eating too much.  But the truth is, I probably am. 
Sunday's diary, I logged breakfast
but nothing else.
For example, for breakfast on Tuesday I ate 2 hard boiled eggs (tracked), 2 cups of coffee with creamer and milk (that I measure everyday to equal 2 servings of creamer per cup of coffee, and about half a cup total of milk, which is tracked).  For lunch I ate 1 left over pork chop (tracked), 1 hard boiled egg (tracked), and one small banana (tracked).  That sounds like a pretty good breakfast and lunch, right?  On paper it looks good.  What I didn't track was the biscotti my coworker gave me when I got to work or the banana bread my supervisor made and left in the breakroom.  If I put those two things in, my calories go from 549 left for the day, to 253.  253 calories is not enough for dinner, even if I don't drink any wine. 

I am not running, or moving, enough to keep my weight down where I'd like it if I continue to eat the way I have been.  I track meals, but not much else.  And the in-between food is the food that is not that good for me. 

Where am I going with this?  Well, when I started the post, I was thinking I'd challenge myself to tracking Every. Single. Food. that enters my mouth. But honestly, I don't know that I'm that committed. I also don't know if I'm that committed to quit eating so much.  I think what I need to do is eat better, well, and less, but mostly better.  Fewer snacks at work (that's the killer), less coffee breaks in the afternoon (that's gonna be impossible), I've already cut back on wine in the evening so that's good.

I decided to go put in every single thing I ate on Tuesday and Wednesday.  I was thinking about this post on Tuesday, so I decided to eat the way I normally do, then yesterday I was going to try to be good, but still not obsess about hitting the calories.  Want to know the result? It's not pretty . . .
I ended up eating more yesterday, on my "good" day, than Tuesday . . .

Seriously, I just want to run.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

I just want to run.

Happy late 4th of July.  I hope all 2 of my readers had a good and safe 4th (I don't think I currently have any readers outside of the US, but maybe. . .)

Anyway, we had a pretty uneventful weekend.  Chris worked every day except Sunday, so I stayed home all weekend.  Saturday night we had a fire outside with a friend, and I drank way too much wine. 

Sunday I had scheduled a distillery tour for Chris's birthday, which was the weekend before.  I felt awful when I woke up.  Ever notice how wine hangovers are worse than any other?  I really didn't feel like going on the tour, but we've never done it before and thought it would be interesting, plus, it was Chris's birthday present, so I kinda had to go.  After a bunch of water and some Tylenol, I felt able to function and had a good time.  I don't think it was much of a tour.  It is a very small distillery, Bad Dog Distillery, that's only been around for about a year and a half.  The guy showed us where he brews, just in a big warehouse-type room, and Chris asked him a lot of questions about home brewing (because he's really interested and wants to try it). They brew primarily whiskey, which I'm not much of a fan of, but they also make some vodka, and a really, really good licorice whiskey. 

For the 4th, I was home most of the day.  Like I said, Chris worked.  I had been thinking, obsessing really, about going for a run all weekend.  My ankle has a little ache to it, but it really isn't bad.  I was thinking that if it had felt like this when I fell, I probably wouldn't have stopped running at all, so yesterday I decided to go for a run.  When I had been to the Urgent Care the week before, the dr said that if I do run, to wrap my ankle, so I did.  However, I think I wrapped too tight, or something.  While I was running, not even a  mile from my house, my foot was really bothering me, not my ankle, but my foot.  I stopped and sat on the side of the road and rewrapped my ankle, making in looser around my foot.  It felt much better after that, so I continued.  I ended up running just over 3 miles.  I iced it when I got home and didn't really notice it the rest of the night.

Today my ankle isn't bothering me at all.  I iced it this morning, but I don't know if I needed to.  I suppose it's a good idea since it is still a little swollen. 

After I ran yesterday we got ready and went to our friend and neighbor's inlaw's house.  We've been going there for many years, but the mother of our friend's wife just died about a month ago, so we had actually not planned on going there this year.  But they said they were doing it, and of course we were invited. 

It was a fun evening, but way too late on a school night.  ; )  Maddox fell asleep on my lap about 10:15, which I felt bad about because he was so excited for the fireworks all week.  I guess since they started lighting the less colorful ones at 6 or 7, he got his fair share of fireworks.  =) 

Because my ankle feels good, and I'm "supposed" to be training for a marathon, I have been debating about running tonight as well.  I worry about not letting it heal properly, or reinjuring it but I just want to run.  Seriously. 

Monday, June 27, 2016

Not broken

So I missed the Seattle Rock n Roll half marathon.  I knew I would, but I was still disappointed.  A couple friends told me about it after the fact, which sorta made it worse. 

It’s been another week of not running.  So I don’t really have a lot to say.  I did run on Saturday.  I am trying to keep my goal of running a race once a month going, and since I missed the rock n roll half, I signed up for a 5k in Anacortes, which is 30 min or so from my house.  It was at an oil refinery, Tesoro, and they new how to throw an after party.  It was a small run, most runs I do are because I like to do local races, and the area I live in is small.  But they had a BBQ after the race, just hot dogs, but it was pretty nice.  They had a local band playing, and lots of “swag.”  Not great “swag” but it wasn’t bad. 
Speaking of “swag” what is up with the “online swag bag” a lot of races do now?  I don’t like it. Honestly, I’d rather get a cheap waterbottle, some SPF 30 chap stick than have to go online to look at the “swag bag” and find out all it is is a bunch of coupons for running stores.  I’ve never used something I’ve found in one of the online “swag bags.” 
Okay, end rant.
Last week I started not feeling very good on Thursday.  I attributed it to being up really late the night before . . . that’s a whole other story.  In a nutshell, I went out with a friend after work on Wednesday and on my way home I witnessed a really bad accident that kept me up half the night Wednesday night.  Anyway, Thursday I just figured I was super tired.  Then on Thursday night I was laying in bed with Maddox and he reached over and said “Mommy, you’re hot” so I took my temperature.  It was around 100., but I didn’t think it was a big deal, I was laying in bed, under covers with Maddox, the heater. 

Friday morning I woke up feeling better, less of a headache, not as warm, and thought I was okay.  But I just started feeling worse and worse all day.  I had plans to go to my sister’s house for dinner, which I did.  Again, on Saturday I woke up feeling better, went for my race and decided to go to the Urgent Care to check on my ankle. 

It hasn’t been too bad lately, but I decided that since it’s been so long, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t broken.  It’s not broken, but I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.  If it was broken, I’d be able to have a concrete (or mostly concrete) time frame.  As it stands, she said I must have a bad sprain, and it could take 6-8 weeks to heal, and I should “see how it feels” and “use my best judgement.”  *sigh*  Isn’t that what I was doing?  And not very well. . . Afterall, I raced before going to the Urgent Care to find out if it was broken . . .

After my race on Saturday my ankle was pretty sore yesterday, and it's a bit more swollen than it has been for a week or so. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Hard decisions

I need to face some hard facts.  My ankle still bothers me.  It's not as often as it was, it's not even every day, but days like today, it bothers me.  I still have a spot that is a little swollen.  I need to quit denying it.  It is probably not ready to run on. 

This weekend my mom was here and we had a yard sale. It was a terrible yard sale.  It rained all day on Saturday.  We packed up about 2pm, and I did a lot of walking, lifting, and just was on my ankle a lot.  On Sunday I decided to go for a 4 mile run, and it didn't bother me much.  Yesterday (Monday) I rested it, and again, it wasn't too bad.  I woke up this morning (Tuesday) and decided to try to wear heels.  If you know me, you know I love shoes, and I wear primarily heels to work, I haven't worn any for 4 weeks.  Today I thought it felt good enough to try.  By the time I got to work my ankle hurt enough that I put on my tennis shoes that I brought "just in case."  And it is still bothering me.  I even took an ibuprofen.

This time last year I was starting my marathon training, I was already a week into it.  I added 2 weeks to the plan because I wanted a run longer than 20 miles before the marathon, and this year it's a week later.  So that gives me a little bit of room.  But most plans are 18 weeks long, and that means that I would have to start training the last week of June.  That's only 2 weeks away. 

My problem is the fact that I feel better when I run. I feel better about myself in all ways.  So to quit again is a really hard thing for me.  But is letting an injury linger longer (and possibly making it worse) worth it?  Probably not. 

A friend recommended that I do some rehab exercises so I looked up some.  I found this site and the exercises appear to be fairly easy so I'll try it. 

Not running again brings up my goal of a race a month. I am registered for the Seattle Rock n Roll half that is this Saturday, but I'm (obviously) not doing it.  There is a 5k next Saturday that I could register for and do.  I could run a 5k to keep up with my streak. 

I started writing this yesterday, and my ankle really bothered me, so I was thinking I would stop running.  Today my ankle feels really good, so I think I could run . . . but maybe I should stick to what I was thinking yesterday and stop running so that I can start marathon training in 2 weeks and not worry that I'm doing more damage. 

I think I'll wait on the running . . .
From my run on Sunday.