Friday, September 19, 2014

Ugh!

Wow, two days in a row (not to mention twice in one week) this is an accomplishment.  ; )  But seriously, I've had this on my mind all morning so I need to get it out.

I'm up in weight.  =(  By about 4 lbs.  I'm not happy with this.  I am back above 150, 152 to be exact, as of this morning.  I was hoping that it was just water weight or something from Damian's birthday dinner (Outback Steakhouse ribs, with several bites of the volcano brownie {or whatever it's called}).  But I usually lose the extra weight after about a day, and I haven't. 

I know my eating hasn't been stellar, and my water intake has gone down, and my wine consumption has gone up, and my running is less.  All of these have contributed to this gain.  And I feel out of control on everything.  What I really, really want is to go for a long run of at least 8 miles.  But I can't. Not just because of my plantar faciitis, but also because I haven't run that far for a couple months and doubt I could. 

I'm tired of not working.  Maddox is adorable, but I get so annoyed with his clingy-ness.  I'm not talking about during the day, but after everyone else is home, he still just wants to come to me.  I know, I'm his mom and this is normal, but it would be so nice if he would just go sit on Chris's lap for the evening.  He sits, hangs, crawls on me all day, go sit, hang, crawl on Papa! 

I need to curb these eating habits, I can't afford to gain more weight.  That's a total of 7 lbs in the time that I've been off work, and that's just plain unacceptable! 

I didn't get the job I wanted.  I was offered the other job, sorta.  It's as a independent contractor and I would have to basically open my own business, get a business license and all sorts of stuff, and I just don't think I'm ready for that, nor do I think I ever will be.  It's scary and worrisome for me. 

Well, FedEx just delivered my new running shoes, so I think I'll go for a run.  I need to run off some of this frustration anyway. . .

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