Thursday, October 9, 2014

Nada

A week ago, two weeks ago . . . how long has it been since I last posted???  I don't even know.  I posted this on the same day that I last posted, and then thought, no, I will wait till tomorrow and write a real post, so I reverted it back to a draft.

I know I just posted, but I had to share this accomplishment.  =)
The first time I have been caught up since before I stopped working.  =) 

And I haven't been on blogger or bloglovin since.  I don't know how far behind I am.  I quit looking.

I did not quit exercising or eating healthy though.  In fact, two weeks ago I quit running.  I decided that my feet are not healing properly while I run.  They hurt every time I go out for a run, for at least the first half mile, and then they hurt for the entire evening afterwards and sometimes the next day.  So I quit.  It was a hard decision to make.  I dusted off the old Insanity workouts and I've been doing those.

I had to modify them though.  I can't do all the jumping that is on the videos.  In fact, there is jogging, high knees, butt kicks, scissor kicks, and many more things . . . just in the warm up, that I can't do.  So I change it up.  I do something different, today I danced a lot with Maddox when I was supposed to be doing those things.  And it is working.  My feet don't hurt as much.  They aren't as "tight" in the morning.  I hope that in a couple months they'll be okay and I can go back to running. 

As soon as I'm able to start running, I'm going to look for a marathon to do, and start training for it. That is my goal for 2015, a full marathon.

I turned 38 on Monday.  We did nothing.  Damian had a football game, and then the Seahawks played . . . so lots of football.  I like football, but that wasn't my idea of a good birthday.  Besides . . . I don't have a job, which means we have less money, so on Monday, Oct. 6th, we had $3 in our acct.  And since Chris is the king of procrastination he hadn't gotten me anything so no gifts. 

Birthdays have always been a big deal to me.  I feel that everyone should celebrate the day they were born.  Without that day, they (I) wouldn't be here.  So that, combined with already being depressed, has made me . . . down.

Oh and the fact that I had a very, very promising interview last Wednesday.  They called my references Thursday . . . and then no word since.  None.  I 100% expected to be working by today.  I was already trying to think of excuses why I couldn't start working on my birthday, but they still haven't called and today is the 9th, a full week and day after the interview. 

A friend of mine started a blog.  She was my college roommate, and my maid of honor when I got married. She has been very public on facebook about her blog.  Becoming Me  She has posted her blog on facebook everytime she has written something (2 posts), and she is amazing at writing.  I want to continue reading, I think she stops too soon.  But I can't publically share this blog.  I don't want people to read it.  I don't think it's great.  It's not inspirational.  It's nothing.  It's my thoughts and feelings in the moment.  And when I don't run . . . I have nothing to say.  Nothing.

Reading my friend's blog, I feel inadequate.  She has a way with words that I don't think I will ever have.  And she leaves you wanting more.  Just like a really good book. 

So here I am.  Depressed.  Bored.  Tired of being a housemom.  Lonely.  And I can't run.  Did I mention depressed?

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