Thursday, October 23, 2014

I'm not dead

Have I ever told you that I love the fall?  I love the crisp morning air.  I love the leaves.  I love sweaters.  I love slippers.  I love waking up before everyone else and having a cup of coffee while reading my book (or like this morning, the blogs I am once again behind on)(I guess I love that all year round).  I love the coolness in the afternoon that makes running so fantastic.  I love running on trails where the leaves have fallen and hearing the crunch under foot.  I LOVE running in the fall. . .  Oh wait . . . I'm not running right now. 

This morning I even got dressed in my favorite oversized sweater just so I could sit in it . . . and then realized I had shrunk it the last week when I washed it.  It's been several months since I last washed it and I forgot that it is strictly hang dry.  So now my oversized comfy sweater fits, and isn't oversized or as comfy. =(  I'm very bummed. 

I am in the middle of week 4 of Insanity.  I feel like they are good workouts.  I literally drip sweat during and after my workouts.  But I just don't feel the same in my body as I do when I run.  I don't feel as lean, or as strong. In reality, I'm probably stronger since I'm working my entire body and not just the specific muscles that help me run, but I don't feel stronger.  And I definitely feel bigger. 

Probably because I am bigger.  Since losing my job I've gained 5lbs.  I'm not happy about it.  It's amazing because the last time I was 150, I was so proud and happy and thought that if I didn't lose anymore weight I'd be okay because I look fine.  Then I went down to 145 (even 143 for a short time) and now, being back up to 150, I feel fat.  I feel gross. My jeans are tight and I no longer need a belt.  I can see the difference. 

One last thing.  We are moving.  We don't know where (staying in the same town) but we have to leave our house.  It's a long story, but we have to move.  Like now.  So I will be spending the next week packing, and looking for somewhere to live.

Oh and I still don't have a job.

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