Today was the day I was supposed to run my first marathon. I know it's better for me to have backed off on the marathon, and even stopped running (for now), but that doesn't mean I like it or am not sad that I couldn't do the marathon today. Instead, today, I am packing. Not exactly what I would like to be doing, but in all honesty it is probably best that I didn't do the marathon now that I know I have to move.
I read a lot of blogs. Somewhere around 40-50 (luckily not all of them post a ton, in fact, some of my favorites either stopped posting, or are very sporadic lately), and everyone has a different level of what they share. Some of the ones I read share just about everything, and some of them share hardly anything personal. I have to admit that I like more of a personal touch, more of the sharing of every day life, mixed in with running or fitness/healthy eating stuff. My good friend from college that I talked about the other day with her new blog shares very personal stuff, but not the names of her family members, and I have yet to see her share a picture. However, she is willing to put her blog on Facebook to let her friends and family read it.
I feel like I share everything. I share my kids' lives, my life, their names, even pictures of them (they're just so cute!). I talk about my running and not a whole lot about what I eat (on the healthy side, but definitely not as healthy as some people). But I am terrified of sharing my blog on Facebook. Only one friend of mine has ever read my blog (Hi Misty! if you're still reading) (that I know of), Chris knows of it, but has never looked at it, probably doesn't even know the name of my blog.
Where am I going with this? I don't know. I wish I was braver and wasn't so scared to share this with friends and family. However, I worry that they will look at it and see how pathetic of a life I really live. I am not the most fantastic writer. I am not the best story teller. Once upon a time I wanted to write for a living, but now that I'm "old" I know I'm actually not the best of writers. I wish I was. I am thankful for the 15 followers I have, even if they don't actually read it all the time. =)
Like I said, I tend to over share on my personal life, and it's really hard not to talk about some of the reasons we are moving. But they are in the personal category that I don't feel is appropriate to share. We have never been completely happy with the house that we bought, it was intended as a "fixer upper" but the economy crashed right after we bought it and it never got fixed up. It's damp, and there is mold growing on the ceiling in one of the rooms. When we had Maddox we made the "bonus" room into the master bedroom but it was never intended for that and is even damper than the rest of the house. When I don't wear something for a long time it often has the smell of mold on it. Needless to say, it isn't exactly a healthy environment for me or my family. My allergies are always worse when it's damp out, Maddox often has a running nose, and Chris gets this weird cold every 6 months or so. Damian is the only one that seems immune to it. (I'm just thankful none of us have developed asthma or are deathly allergic to mold spores.)
Are there more problems than mold, you ask? Why yes, there are. The hot water heater has started to leak and the toilet seal isn't working anymore, so it's constantly running. The furnace is probably as old as the house (built in 1952) and the faucet handle on the bathtub is broken. These are definitely minor problems compared to the mold, but still problems. So I'm not especially sad to be saying goodbye to this house. However, it is the only house Maddox has ever known. By the time Damian was 4 (Maddox is only 3), we had moved 6 times. I don't like moving, have never wanted to move so much, and when I moved to Lynnwood (in 2002) I was done moving. Damian and I lived there for 6 years, and then we moved here, to Mt. Vernon and have been here 6 years and 10 months.
The biggest problem is that we know we have to move, and soon. However, we don't know where. We have yet to find a place. So I'm packing, but I don't have a destination yet. (We are staying in Mt. Vernon however.) That is the most frustrating and stressful part of this whole thing. Well, that and not having a job and needing one badly.
Anyway, I completed week 4 of Insanity. I wasn't as diligent with it as the program calls. Most weeks I skipped "cardio recovery" in the middle of the week, and a couple times I skipped the Saturday workout because of different reasons. (Can't remember the second reason, but the first time I skipped it I went to eastern WA.) I have not lost any weight on Insanity, but that's okay, at least I'm not gaining weight. =)