So we did a thing . . .

I love the summer.  I love the sun and the warmth, and the tan lines.  😀 (I always put on sunscreen, but I still tan.)  I have put out a "kiddie" pool for as long as I've had a house to put one up in. 

 This is from my parent's house, but I couldn't find a pool picture from my house.  This is 2012, Maddox was 1. 😊  It's kind of an ironic picture because the pool that I grew up with was between where the kiddie pool is and the chicken coop.  My parents took it out when my youngest sister went to college.

 This is from 2013 at my old house.  We put the pool in an indent from a tree we dug out of the yard, which was rather perfect.

This is from 2015 at my current house, which you can't see much but me in.  😂

And last year I decided to buy a "real" pool.  We half-assed the leveling of the area, but I loved the pool.  

So this year when I started thinking about the process of leveling again, I really didn't want to have to do it every single year.  Our neighbors put in tile brick for their (big) pool a few years ago, so I decided we should do that . . . so that was my brilliant idea for this weekend.

We spent 10 1/2 hours on Saturday getting the material and putting it together. 

And we were 14 bricks short.  😡  So we had to go back on Sunday and get more bricks.

But it really looks fabulous!  I was so excited to put up the pool, which we did . . . and now our filter isn't working. 

I've never had a pool so level before! But I can't even swim in it, because the filter isn't working.

Chris and I are sore!  I had so many spots that were sore that I've never felt before.  Most notably my right first finger, which I thought was strange, and my elbows.  When we did the last 14 bricks on Sunday, the action of trying to set them in place was painful, I could barely lift the bricks up.  Definitely don't wait to finish projects till the next day . . . the pain sets in and it is hard to do!  My thighs are still really sore, which is strange because I was kneeling and wasn't moving my legs much.  

"only 9 more days to 1000"

Everyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that I read Runs for Cookies, it's the first blog I started reading before I started my own.  It's also one of the main blogs that helped me get started and keep running.  I probably would never have done any races, ever, if it wasn't for the blogs I follow (although most of the ones I followed when I started no longer post which is sad because when you read someone's thoughts for years and then they disappear, you wonder what happened to them).  Anyway, Katie and her family love squirrels, and she posts about the squirrels they have in their yard.  Plus, a person I worked with (for about 1 month) and am "friends" with on Facebook also posts about her squirrels, so I started watching the squirrels in my backyard.  They are hilarious in their attempts to get to the bird food.  I decided to put out their own food.  They come every morning and make a mess on my deck.  But they are extremely entertaining to watch.  If only I could get them to get a nut out of my hand. . . 

If I can keep the stellar jays away.

The last week or so has been pretty crazy, so there will be a lot of pictures in this post.  Last Thursday was Maddox's birthday.  My sister and her husband came up for dinner, and we hung out for awhile. 

 Maddox loves this costume.  He asked for one, so I thought that would be so perfect for him.  😂

My sister and her husband got Maddox a giant bag of popcorn, it's about halfway gone.

As you know, Father's Day was on Sunday and it also happened to be my parents anniversary, it would have been 51 years.  We didn't want my Dad to be alone, so we arranged to meet him at a rest area on the freeway about halfway between him and my sister and I.  My two sisters from eastern WA also joined us, and Damian was able to go with Asher.  It's the first my dad has seen Asher since February, so it was nice.

Last week Maddox made himself a hammock out of an old firewood carrier and I posted a picture of it on Facebook. 

Well, my Dad saw it and decided to buy Maddox a hammock for his birthday, so it got set up (with a lot of help from big brother) yesterday. 

Yesterday I was feeling ambitious and decided to ask Damian if he wanted to ride his bike while I ran.  Of course that meant that I had to push Asher in the stroller, which is always harder than I think, even on my relatively flat path.  But we did it.

Yesterday was my 600th day running at least one mile a day.  Funny story . . . on day 590 I realized I was close to a "milestone" so the next day when I was talking to a friend I said I was on day 591 and "only have 9 more days till 1000 days of running!"  He laughed at me and told me to check my math.  😂🤣  I've never claimed to be good with numbers.

Finally, I'll leave you with this adorable picture of Asher.  He is soooo stinkin' cute!

Rant follows

This is my blog, this is my space.  It is a very tiny space in the blogging world, I have very few followers, if one of my posts hits 20 readers, it's a big number.  And yet, I stay away from topics that I worry will offend others.  Today, I might offend all 20 of my readers.  I am not going to apologize, my space, my thoughts.  Don't like it, don't read.  I write for me, not for the less than 20 people that read this regularly.

I grew up in rural eastern Washington.  My family were farmers, and Christian.  I went to church every Sunday morning and evening and every Wednesday evening.  I was a "leader" in my youth group, I went to Christian concerts, and Christian events.  My parents voted for Ronald Reagan, George Bush Sr and Jr and every other republican out there.  I voted for George W. Bush and did not vote for Barack Obama (I also did not vote for McCain because my sister disliked him for some reason and I agreed with that reason at the time, I don't remember if I voted for Romney, I hope not).  

By the middle of President Obama's 2nd term, I called myself a liberal republican, I was very in the middle of many, many issues.  I had the conservative background of my upbringing, but I work in social services, and social services is well known for being pretty liberal.  And then a few things happened in 2015 and 2016.  I had very close friends that were very liberal, and what happens when you surround yourself with others, you start to become more like them.  I was exposed to many stories and ideas about President Obama that was contrary to what my family said, and it made sense.  And then Trump entered the presidential race.  I thought I love Celebrity Apprentice, but can't stand Trump, and there's no way he will win.  But he did. He did after saying he can grab any woman by the pussy.  He did after attacking a family of an American soldier that was killed.  He did after mocking a reporter with a disability.

I can't agree that he is good for this country.  I can't.  Now, even though many of my beliefs are not different than 8 years ago (some are, I've grown), I am considered very liberal.  I would put myself to the left of middle now (previously I would have been the right of middle), but I can still see both sides of some things.  But somehow in the last 4 years the axis changed and there seems to be no middle.

Many years ago, when Black lives matter became a "thing."  I was one of those people saying "all lives matter."  I said something on an ex-coworkers facebook post asking why all lives matter is offensive, and she explained to me, of course all lives matter, we know that, but right now we are standing behind Black lives because they need it.  How can all lives matter if an entire race is being abused?  And I understood.  

Now, during this time, I want to explain it to my family, I want these people, who I know are good people to understand and to realize we can't continue to scream all lives matter when there are people being targeted simply because of their skin color.  I want them to listen to the stories I've heard about people walking in the mall and being followed simply because they are not white people, how 9 and 10 year old children, children, have guns pulled on them by cops because they are Black and are playing in a park, on a sidewalk, in their driveway.  But they don't listen, or don't care.  

I have liberal friends and I have very conservative family members.  I get bombarded everyday with both sides of the story, and I get annoyed when they don't understand the concept of Black lives matter.  

This is one of my favorite memes I've seen, and I don't understand why the concept is hard to understand.

All of this to say, I feel angry.  I feel angry at the people that stick their heads in the sand and won't realize this is a problem, but continue to spout hate-filled nonsense.  And I also feel like I should stop.  My sisters and Dad aren't as bad as my in-laws (I completely unfollowed, not unfriended, my mother-in-law because I couldn't handle her Fox News filled rants).  But when do I call it quits?  If I call it quits, does that make my silence a part of the problem?  

This is my friend, we did a Black lives matter walk with our other friend who is Black.  It was a good day, but I thought this picture says it all about what I think about Fox News.

I moved the FB icon on my phone to a place where I won't see it as much.  I have to actually think about it and go to that spot in order to get on FB now on my phone.  And for the first day I liked it.  I forgot to get on and I was happier.  But now I'm logging onto the internet more, and on my phone, just going to Google puts up articles that Google thinks I would be interested in (it's only right about 1/4 of the time), but I still get the political stuff there.  

Honestly, it's much easier to put my head in the sand and ignore it.  I'm torn, and frustrated, and angry, and ill equipped to know what to do and how to handle it all.

What has been happening

Chris started work last week, June 1.  The week before we decided we were going to go to eastern WA for a long weekend.  We didn't know Chris was going to start work when we decided to go, but we thought that if we wanted to go, we better do it now, which was a good call.  We decided to go to the house that my family has on Deer Lake near Spokane.  I'm sure you remember that we've been going there for years in August (well, once on the Fourth of July).  

The first year we went was 2015 (all my favorite skinny pictures are from that year), 

then in 2016 (my sprained ankle meant I was swimming a lot),

2017 (when we first got a paddleboard) (I loved those sunglasses), 

and 2018 (4th of July).  

We did go last year, but only for Labor Day weekend because of our Alaska Cruise, and apparently I didn't write a post about it (which is funny, as we were there when I discovered Maddox and I had lice).

Anyway, I didn't mean to make this a photo dump post, but it might be.  😄  

We are still planning on going this August, but it was really, really nice to get away from the "real world" and just float on the Lake for awhile. (We came back to the world gone crazy with all the protests happening.)  However, this last fall there was a leak in the house that no one caught right away (because it's a vacation house) so the entire living room and main bathroom are torn up.  The coronavirus put a hold on construction, and for whatever reason, even though construction has been able to go back to work for a month or more, they have done nothing in the house.  I guess the little work that has been done (removing carpet, walls, and furniture) was done by my family.  My Dad told me that there was nothing, including no stove, but we said that was fine, we'd camp if we had to.  

Really dark of the living room
looking outside

Living room

the main bathroom (tub area)

main bathroom (sink area)
and the other side of the wall
is the front door.

Kitchen where they only
removed the stove?

The only bathroom that is
usable (there is also one
upstairs, but that was where
the leak came from)

The carpet in the living room and up the stairs was orange shag carpet, because the last time anything was done to this house (it was expanded, going from a one bedroom trailer sized cabin to a 4 bedroom, 3 bath, 2-story house) was in the 1970's when my Grandparents bought it.  You can see the wood paneling, which they are keeping, but thankfully all the carpet and linoleum down stairs is being replaced. 

Anyway, we spent the weekend outside, mostly.

 I got a new paddleboard last fall and this is the first time I was able to use it.

 My sister and her son came for the entire weekend.

 We were joined by my Dad, other sister, and her daughter on Friday, and my niece ended up staying until Sunday with us.

And it wouldn't be summer without my wine on my paddleboard.

Friday was a beautiful day.  Sunny and warm.  It really was nice.  Saturday wasn't as nice, but it was still warm, until the evening while we were having a fire.  A storm rolled in and it started lightning and thunder and then hail.  It was kind of crazy.  The power went out in the middle of the night, I was actually awake for it because the thunder woke me up.  I had to get up to close a window and after I laid down all the fans went off and there was no power.  That made the morning difficult because we had to pack up to go home.  The house isn't the brightest house, even with the curtains open.  Plus, no coffee sucks.

I completely forgot to put sunscreen on Maddox on Friday, and he got a bad burn.  It peeled all last week, but it was kinda fun to pull the skin off his back.  😁

We had to come back though because while we were there Chris got the call that he had to go back to work on Monday.  Plus, I was supposed to be working "from home" but with the house torn apart there was no internet.  My work gives me a hotspot to use but the connection to any G's, much less 4G, was awful, so I couldn't work and Maddox couldn't do schoolwork.  

I just have to remember we are going back in August.

I had other things to talk about as well, but this is too long.  I'll have to save it for another time.

short post

Next week Chris is going back to work.  Last week Damian went back to work.  But guess what?  The schools are still closed, along with all the major (fun) daycares/camps.  Maddox has school until 6/12, and everyone in our house will be working as of next week.  That's still 3 weeks of school.  Yes, I am working from home, but I am working from home.  And I have to go into my office occasionally.  I was averaging about once a week, but I missed one or two weeks, but I am still required to work.  And I work with a court program, so I am required to "go to" court, right now it is still video or telephone court, but I am required to be online at that time.  Yesterday it was 1:30 until 3:15, last week it was 2-3:45, it is a chunk of time that I can't leave, and I can't talk to my child.  I don't know what I'm going to do.

I am frustrated with the stay at home orders, not that they are in place, but that they completely closed some things (especially the kid things) and are now reopening adult things (work).  How are people with kids supposed to manage work and their kids, including having to home school them?  I know that many kids Maddox's age (he's almost 9 and in 3rd grade) could do the work without a lot of help, but Maddox is not one of those kids.  He has a learning disorder and requires quite a bit of assistance, not to mention he is highly active, so trying to get him to sit still and focus can be a challenge.  I have been extremely lucky with Chris being home and able to do his school, but ugh, I'm just frustrated by it.

Don't get me wrong, I am firmly in the camp of staying home, wearing masks, social distancing, etc.  I do not disagree with those orders or recommendations.  I'm just frustrated about the schools and the kids and having to reopen while the kids are still home.  I also completely understand that there are many people out there struggling because they aren't working, I am lucky we are not one of those families, but I know that others are.  And I fear that there will be a resurgence of this virus and it will be worse than the first.  That is what scares me the most.  We may not be as lucky the second time around. 

Have I mentioned I have a new coworker?  I've named him Clark . . . Bones just seemed to cliche.  😀

Base calories

I have not been losing weight.  I was gaining weight.  I seriously have been tracking everything, and most days have been under my allotted calorie limit (the limit that Myfitnesspal gives me).  This number goes up though when I run, it gives me "extra" calories to use depending on my exercise for the day.  And believe me, I was using them.  My base calories are 1360, but when I run 3 miles, myfitnesspal says I can eat an extra almost 300 calories.  And when I have a long run on Sundays, it goes up more.  Myfitnesspal gives me almost 100 calories a mile extra.  And I was eating all of them on most days and going over on the other days.  Because I wasn't over my calories (most of the time) I thought that I was eating well, but I kept gaining weight. 

February, I focus on my belly, not the fact that this is a 4
generation photo.  

In December 2019 I hit 160, and that scared me.  In April 2020 I hit 161 (in the middle of the month, so it doesn't reflect on my official weigh in, which is recorded only on the 1st of the month).  This is not good.  So I looked back on how I ate right before going to Hawaii last year.  Last January (2019) and February, I lost close to 10lbs.  When I was calculating my calories, I noticed that last year I was not eating all the "extra" calories, and I was doing high calorie days and low calorie days, so I thought I would try that again.  I don't really know why, probably because I'm home and the food is so close, but it is very hard to stick with the low calorie days this time.  So I am attempting to stay closer to 1360 or less calories a day, and it seemed to work last week.  I lost about a pound and a half.  I did have a couple high (really high) calorie days. Last Monday was terrible, for some reason I couldn't sleep and I got up and ate, a lot.  And on Thursday I went to my sister's to do a social distance visit and ate dinner there so I was over, but the rest of the week I was just under my base level of calories.  I'm going to stick with that again this week and see how I do.  I do tend to eat more on my long run days, and I'm okay with that, but I need to keep it under control. 

I'm sure I've talked about this before, but in 2015 I lost a bunch of weight over the summer while I trained for my first marathon.  I am really annoyed that I did not religiously log my food at that time.  I was concerned about my Myfitnesspal streak, but not necessarily about logging everything in.  There were many days I would get on and log my coffee and eggs and then nothing else . . . so I do not have a record of what I ate, at all.  I wish I did.  I would like to see how many calories I ate during marathon training that caused me to lose 10 lbs and get to my lowest adult weight.  (One unofficial log in was 139.) 

My other thoughts are of my sister who lost a lot of weight doing the 30/10 weight loss diet with her husband in the fall of 2018.  I don't know how much she lost, I'd say 15-20 lbs, but she has managed to keep all of it off for over a year.  I have thought about doing her diet (well, I wouldn't pay for the 30/10 plan because it's expensive) but it is pretty much a starvation diet and those suck.  Plus, the only reason she kept it up was because she paid so much money, I wouldn't because I wouldn't pay the money for it. 

 This is my sister (and Mom) in May 2016 when they went to Hawaii.  (Honestly, I think this picture is terrible of her, she didn't really look this big, but the harness they had on accentuated her stomach.)

This is her in April 2019 modeling a shirt I bought her.  She's a skinny minnie. 

I have similar pictures, however, mine go the opposite way.  In May of 2016 I was more like my sister today and today I am more like her in 2016.  I hate it.  I also hate that I compare myself to her.  Although, I compare myself to myself a lot more.  Which, ironically, they say is what you're supposed to do, but you're supposed to get better, not worse. 

Anyway, here is to week 2 of eating only my base calories or under, and seeing how I do.

#IrunwithMaud

I decided not to go to my Dad's house.  I thought about it a lot.  I talked to my sister about it several times.  And I decided not to go.  More than likely he would be safe.  But there's a chance, and I couldn't justify my desire to see him with the small chance that I, or one of my family, would give the virus to him.  My sister and I talked about meeting him halfway at a rest area, just the two of us, so we could visit with him.  We have done that before, well, at a restaurant for lunch.  So, I just called him yesterday to wish him a happy birthday.

Have you heard of Ahmaud Arbery?  He's been all over social media this week.

Ahmaud was a black male living in Georgia.  On a nice February day he went for a run through his hometown.  During his run a 64 year old white male saw him run by his house and called for his 34 year old son, that the "suspect" of several burglaries was running down the street (Ahmaud was in jogging shorts and a white tshirt, just running in the middle of the day).  The man and his son grabbed their guns and followed Ahmaud.  One story I heard said that they confronted him but Ahmaud turned around and ran a different way (I only heard that once, not sure where).  They proceeded to follow him and eventually blocked the road he was running on.  Another white male followed Ahmaud with a cellphone videoing the encounter when Ahmaud approached the man and the son.  Ahmaud tried to go around, and while he's in the front of the truck that the father was standing in a gunshot rang out and then you see Ahmaud and the son come out from the front of the truck struggling over a gun and go out of the video.  That's as far as I saw, but the reports are that Ahmaud comes back into the video and another shot rings out and he falls in the middle of the road.

That happened February 23.  The father and son?  They were questioned, the authorities were given the video, and they were allowed to go their own way.  For 75 days.  The father was a retired police office who had personal ties to the local police and the prosecutors.  These men deliberately chased down an innocent man in the middle of the day and murdered him because of the color of his skin.  It wasn't until a radio show got it's hands on the video and aired it this week that any action was done.  Once the video went viral, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation (GBI) took over and yesterday.  just yesterday.  the man and his son were arrested.  75 days later.

Picture the races being reversed.  Ahmaud was white, and the man and his son were black.  There would have been immediate action 75 days ago.

George and Travis McMichaels were arrested last night.  Today would have been Ahmaud's 26th birthday.  He was young.  He was exercising.  He was black.

The running community (I don't remember which specific community) asked us to run 2.23 miles today on his birthday for Ahmaud.  2.23 miles represents February 23rd, when he was murdered.

I posted this on social media today:

As a white woman who runs primarily outside alone I have never feared running in the neighborhoods of my hometown, nor of the town I work in. Today, as I ran I turned down a street I've never run before without even thinking of it. Suddenly on that street I realized what I had done, and felt overwhelmingly sad that others do not have that option. You should be able to run down a neighborhood street without fear.

Being a woman runner has it's own challenges, but I have never had to fear for my life because of the color of my skin. Nor should anyone else in this world.

Today #irunwithmaud with sadness in my heart. He was only 25. His murderers were not arrested nor charged with a crime. This is America. #JusticeForAhmaud

just more complaining

This week (Thursday) is my Dad's birthday and I am still contemplating going over there for a night.  I had a brilliant thought that maybe my family and I could go get tested just to make sure and then we'd know for sure and be okay.  We could even stay in my dad's house that way. There is a testing sight in my town for the general public, but I was looking at the information for it yesterday and you have to have mild symptoms, and none of us do (well, I've had a runny nose for over a month now, but it may be allergies).  I just don't know.  I don't want to endanger my dad, but I really am dying to go over there. 

I have to tell you, I hate this working from home crap.  But I also don't feel ready to go back to work.  I work with people, many of them with not great hygiene (due to many reasons, lack of facilities, lack of mental health, etc.).  What I would like is time off.  I am starting video court this week (part of my job) and I'm very nervous about how that will look for my clients.

I am a broken record.

I was struggling since the beginning of the year, heck, since last November.  All this year my weight has been creeping up and it's frustrating.  I was doing pretty good in March, I had it going down again, my first of March weight was 157.? but it went up to 160, and then I got it to go back down, and now I am at 160, still.  In fact, I even saw 161 in April.  I am tracking my food, but honestly, the tracking is just showing me that my food intake is really high.  (I didn't track yesterday because I ate sporadically, and forgot what all I ate.)  Can I get my food intake down?  I am trying.  Obviously I'm doing a very poor job. 

I started yoga again.  For the millionth time.  I have noticed that yoga makes my hip hurt more (arthritis).  Since I was diagnosed with mild arthritis in my hip, I've had no instruction on how to take care of it, I was told over the phone by a nurse and given a prescription for some pills I refuse to take.  (I also have not attempted to ask a dr about it.)  I am curious what will help it.  Does yoga typically make arthritis pain worse?  I heard that strengthening the muscles around the joints affected is supposed to help, but it hurts when I work on it.  Will it get better if I don't give up?  These are things I don't know.  When I google it, it takes me to sites better suited for 60+ years old, I am not that old, not yet. 

On Friday my sister and her husband came up to my house and visited with us.  It was a nice visit, but I do miss girl talks with her.  It's hard to do that with our families there as well.