Latest ramblings

 So, I succeeded in my April goal of running at least 3 miles 3 days a week.  Then something happened last week and I only ran twice.  I had been kicking around the idea of adding a long run on Sundays in May, but then didn't.  Then last week I realized I hadn't run again on Friday and knew that if I didn't I wouldn't get my 3 days in, but it was sorta late, and I didn't want to, so I didn't.  However, I had a great run on Sunday, but it wasn't a long run. 

So far I've only run once this week, which was on Sunday.  I've had a conference this week, it's virtual, but it's also live, I'm virtual in Washington, and the live part is going on in Boston.  It starts at 8am in Boston, which is 5am here. So I've had some early mornings and am tired.  I haven't been running, I thought I'd run during the lunch break, but I've been sleeping instead because their lunch break is at 9am.  And it's been quite warm here, so I'm not wanting to run when it's so "hot."

It's so ridiculous because I thought once it warmed up and wasn't rainy all the time I'd want to go run more, but now it's warm and I don't want to run in the heat.  I think it's because we went from 45-55 degrees to 70-80 degrees within a week.  We completely skipped spring, although, I think it's going to the 60's next week for at least a few days.  

Last week I did really, really well with my food.  I actually haven't been tracking it, but I've been eating good.  I lost 2 lbs last week.  I was ecstatic, but am not hopeful for a loss this week.  I am eating okay, yesterday I had chips for lunch though, so definitely not as good as last week.  

I have not been doing the intermittent fasting for a while now. My son started baseball and his games start at 6 and often end at 8 or later, so I am not eating until I get home afterwards.  I can't go until 12p or 1p to eat the next day, I'm too hungry.  I have tried to keep my morning schedule of starting to eat between 10 and 11, but, like I said, it's still not true IF.  It actually has gotten a lot easier to wait . . .  Well, until this week.  I am waking up at 4:30am to get online for my conference.  I am so tired that I've started drinking coffee with milk and creamer.  

I weigh myself tomorrow . . . I should have waited to post this until then, but I'm quite worried I gained again because that is typically what I have been doing lately.  I can't seem to stay under 160 lately (last week I was 158).  

This is from my run on Sunday.  I ran fairly early because Sunday was the hottest day here (86 degrees) and I didn't want to run when it was so hot. (I really admire those people that run in the true heat, Arizona, Nevada, California, eastern Washington, everywhere but here.)  

I identify as a runner.

 Last week I posted that I was going to start running 3 miles three times a week for the month of April.  I made it last week, I ran (can it be called running when a quarter of it is walking?), 3 times, 3miles.  It meant I had to run after getting home from eastern WA on Saturday, but it probably was a good thing because that's a long drive (4.5-5 hours depending on stops). 

I had plans to run on Sunday (I always run on Sunday) but the weather was soooooo nasty, so I didn't.  And then the weather was bad again on Monday, so I didn't. I planned to run on Tuesday, but I ended up going home with a temperature and a headache.  I felt terrible, I had the chills, but was also ridiculously hot, so I went straight to bed.  I woke up yesterday (Wednesday) and thought, I have to run today, I felt better in the morning, so was planning on running.  Oh, I forgot to mention that Tuesday and Wednesday were B-E-A-utiful days.  The sun was shining, no wind, gorgeous.  But then, about 2pm yesterday, same thing, headache, slight fever, so I went back home and to bed.  

That means if I plan to get 3 days in this week, I have to run today, tomorrow, and Saturday, no matter what the weather does. And of course, it's supposed to get rainy again.  This morning was cloudy with sunbreaks and I stayed home (working from home) so I decided I'd get the run done before it got gross outside again.  But now I have to run tomorrow and Saturday.  

I haven't been this out of shape in 11 years, basically since I started running.  In fact, until the last year or so, I could have done a half marathon with very little (or no) training for it.  I was always kinda in half marathon shape.  Now I walk a lot during my three mile runs.  

I think this lack of motivation stems a lot from my mindset since ending my runstreak.  I allowed my brain to start thinking "it's okay if I don't run."  For years I didn't have that mindset, and even before the runstreak I still had the days I "had" to run, they varied throughout time, but I always had them.  Now, I'm like, "don't want to run? don't!"  And I read a book where the author talked about strategic walking during runs, which made my brain say "you want to walk? you should walk" instead of the old way of thinking "walking is bad."  That and reading Kerri's blog on beachyogagirl.com she talked about keeping your heartrate in zone 2 for the most fat burn . . . well, zone 2 happens while walking not running.  Walking isn't bad, but I identify as a runner, not a walker.  I'm proud to be a runner, I like that identity and am not willing to give it up.

But! you know what identifies you as a runner?  Running!  Isn't that weird?  That means that if I want to continue to identify as a runner, I have to actually run.  So in the second week of April, I have to run thursday, Friday, and Saturday, no matter what.  

So here's to getting back in shape, even if I'm never back to "half marathon anytime" shape, I want to be in "I can run 3 miles without stopping" shape.

Saturday's run

Tomorrow is weigh-in day.  I didn't weigh in last week because I was in eastern WA.  I also didn't eat very well.  Well, I didn't eat a lot, but what I ate wasn't great.  Then with Easter this last Sunday, and all the candy (ahem, jelly beans), I think I will have a gain.  I hope it's not a two week gain, just a small one.  Keep your fingers crossed!!  I was really excited to get back to the 150s (that's so sad for me to say when I was in my 140s for so long), but I don't think I will this week.  

What I'm doing now

 In March I decided to record what I eat.  Once upon a time I tracked my calories on myfitnesspal, but I stopped (maybe around 2020) and now don't think it's as good with the recent "upgrades."  So I started handwriting what I eat with no calorie counting.  I started just writing it down, with no changes.  Then a week later I started making sure I was eating less.  Then March 10th I decided I needed to start recording my weight weekly, which I haven't done in years.  So, March 10th, I recorded my weight of 162 (which was exactly the same as the week before).  A week later, after doing really, really good with my food, I was 163.8.  I was so mad.  Two and a half weeks ago, I went down to 161.3 and last week I went to 160.  I'm pretty sure the blip in gain was period related (although I don't actually have a period now).  

It feels like my eating has gotten better, but my exercise has been terrible.  March was pretty much the lowest mileage I've had in probably 10 years with no injury, 39 miles, and that includes 13.5 miles of walking.  Yesterday I was reading Runs for Cookies (of course) from a post in January where she was recapping her 2022 goals.  One of her 2022 goals was to run 3 miles 3 times a week, and I thought, that's doable.  So, starting this month, I'm going to run 3 days a week for at least 3 miles. Because I decided this yesterday (Wednesday) and I went to e. WA right afterwards and have only run once so far this week (at that time) it means I have to run 2 times while in e. WA.  I "ran" today. I guess I should get rid of the quotes, but it seems so weird to walk while running.  

It's also kind of stupid why I ran today.  I forgot about my decision to run 3 times a week and was going to go for a walk today.  Well, right before leaving guys came to my sister's house to install gutters, and I thought that I'd look silly just going for a walk, so decided to run just for my image. But that is not a bad thing . . .

My next plan is to go through my food journal and look at the trends of what I'm eating.  I think that this week will be a bad week because I'm in e. WA and outside of my routine, plus I do tend to drink more on "vacation."  And I also found out today that my 15 year old niece is pregnant . . . so there's that.  

Maybe by making these small changes I'll have some success.  

P.S. I didn't run the half marathon last weekend.  I had actually decided to switch to the 10K and then didn't do that either.  I think this is my first DNS (did not start) which I've always heard is worse than a DNF (did not finish).

Just do it

 What triggers in a person's brain that they are going to do something? 

Right after (maybe 6 months) I had Maddox I decided I was going to start running.  I loved it as a kid, I dabbled in it in my 20s, finally at 35 I decided to start.  It was not to lose weight, it was because I had always liked the act of running.  I was worried that if I took a rest day, one day would turn into 2 and so on, so for a little while I ran (mostly walked) every day.  That didn't last long, but I did continue to run.  I started reading blogs of people who ran, I would try to go back to the blog's inception and read it all, it kept me motivated, taught me a lot about what to do, and motivated me to run races.  I still follow two of those blogs, RunsforCookies and Belief in Myself, the rest all quit blogging at some point (don't worry, I've found a few more now, but nothing like what I used to read).  Actually, those two bloggers (Katie and Mary Fran) have been blogging so long they were probably two of the few that I couldn't read from the beginning.  Reading blogs prompted me to start a blog.  I started with a different name, I think it was "Living the Dream, a Crazy and Convoluted dream" but eventually settled on Running the Dream.  I even made a facebook page (back when they were new and nothing like they are now) called Running the Dream.  (It's still there, I just never post on it now and it was never big.)

In 2015 I decided to run a marathon, up until then I said marathon runners were crazy, I even got a magnet for my car that said "Only half crazy, 13.1" But for whatever reason, I decided to run one.  I think, at that time, I was enamored with how far I could run.  Each Sunday was a new distance and it was exciting to me.  I ran because I loved it.  

And I started losing weight, it was a slow loss.  From February 2012 to March 2015 I lost 30 lbs it was not on purpose, it was a side effect of running and eating better.  Eating better was also a side effect of running, I was feeling good, so I wanted to eat good.  And I lost weight.  Then when I started marathon training I had read that many people training for a marathon gain weight, and I did not want that, so I tightened up my eating even more and lost almost another 10 lbs.  I honestly felt great, the whole experience was a joy, I was running new distances every week, and I was seeing loses on the scale almost weekly.

In 2016 I decided I'd run another marathon, well actually the same one, just a different year.  I also decided to run the Seattle Rock and Roll half.  A friend was doing it, and I thought it was interesting, plus another friend paid for me.  I went out on my first training run and sprained my ankle. I tried to continue to running, but really just made it worse.  Anyway, I gained some weight because I wasn't running.  Losing weight while marathon training seemed so easy, it just fell off it seemed.  So I wasn't worried, I thought that once I started running again, I'd lose it.  I didn't.  I didn't gain a lot of weight, only about 5-7 lbs, but I didn't lose it.  

That was when my mind switched from running for enjoyment to running to lose weight.  I didn't lose weight, but I kept thinking I would.  I started marathon training in 2017 with the sole purpose of having the same success weight-wise as I had in 2015.

Granted, we're talking less than 10lbs, but it was an obsession.  

Fast forward, 2020 I gained weight, mostly from just being home all the time, drinking more and definitely eating more.  And I keep gaining.  It's gotten to the point where I don't even enjoy running, my go to exercise my entire life (not that I did it all my life, but if I exercised, I ran).  My sister says it's because of my runstreak.  I forced my body to run every day for 4 years, of course my brain is rebelling, and she might be right.  But I am the heaviest I've been since 2012.  I struggle with eating right,  struggle with running, I struggle.  And I'm unhappy about it.  

So back to my first question . . .  What triggers in a person's brain that they are going to do something? And keep at it?  What moves you from motivation to determination (great blog by RunsforCookies here).  I am able to motivate myself for awhile, but my motivation dwindles quite quickly.  Reading the books on ultra-running was very motivating to me, but I haven't read one in awhile.  I even watched a couple documentaries following a couple ultra-races, which was helpful for that day, maybe even that week.  

It's a mindset. I noticed it yesterday.  All day I thought "I'm going to run today."  On my way home it was rainy and cloudy so I started thinking, no, I'm not going to run.  Then I got to town and remembered the stud in my nose had fallen out that morning and I needed to stop to get a new one, and I thought, I'm not going to run.  Then I got home and I put on running clothes and went for a run.  But I didn't do that today, and it's sunny and nice(ish) out.  I need to get back into that mode of just do it.  Just go.  Maybe having a calendar with planned runs days would be helpful?  Maybe I'll try that next week.  Get back to loving to run (and hating it in the moment).

Medical issues and running

A year or so ago I went to the urgent care to get tested for COVID and when they took my blood pressure, I ended up being there forever.  They had the dr come look at me, they kept me way past any time it should have taken. (They never did tell me what my blood pressure was at that time.)  It was odd because they kept me there soooooo long, and then suddenly a nurse came in, gave me the results of the COVID test (negative) and sent me on my way.  Then last summer I went to the dentist and they took my blood pressure on a wrist thing, it was really high.  Like really high (I can't remember the number).  They told me it was emergency room high.  The hygienist said that it was probably the batteries in the thing and they were going to take it again later, they never did.

Well, when I told my sister these stories she told me I needed to go to the dr to check out my blood pressure.  Well, I avoided it.  On my birthday (in October) I felt really awful, so I decided to go to the dr.  Turns out I have high blood pressure (imagine that).  It's frustrating because I am not super overweight and eat fairly healthy.  It's mostly genetic, which I find super annoying.  It took until February for me to actually get stable on my medications (dosage mostly) and for it to be under control.  

I've always bordered on high blood pressure.  Almost every time I've been to the dr they take it and say it's high and they'll retake it after I've calmed a little.  Usually when they retake it, it has gone down a little, but still at the edge.  When we were figuring out my meds they had me taking my blood pressure every few days, I remember one of those it was at 161/110 (if you don't know, 120/90 is as high as they want to see).  

Anyway . . .

As you know, I quit my running streak Oct. 31st.  It had been 4 years of running every day, but in the last year, I had run very little over a mile a day.  I just haven't gotten back into the habit, desire, whatever, to run.  I just haven't wanted to run.  One of the things that Kerri at Beachyogagirl talks about in her series on menopause and weight lose, is heart rate zones and the ideal zone to be in for peri and menopausal women.  Basically she says zone 2 is the best zone, it burns the most stored fat, but when running, I am in zone 3.  So I decided that I would start just walking 20 or more min to see if that works.  To get to zone 2, I have to walk pretty fast though, yesterdays walk was an average 14 min/mile (which is crazy because my 8 mile run on Sunday was 11.44 min/mile average).  

It's so strange to think about, I can talk myself into going for a walk easier than I can talk myself into running. My sister said it's probably because I forced myself to go run every single day for 4 years.  I don't really understand why because other people have run streaks much longer than that and still run a lot. I find it annoying.  I love identifying as a runner.  I am a runner. But I am not running a lot right now.  I did register for a half marathon that is on April 3rd, with the intent of motivating myself to run more.  And I suppose it does a little, but it will be the slowest half I've ever done.  

I've had a really hard time going out for long runs.  Last Sunday I had it in my head to do 8 miles, but Sunday morning I just didn't feel like running at all.  I decided that I would go for a 3-4 mile run and see where I ended up.  I ended up going 8 miles, and I felt really good for all of it, and wasn't very sore on Monday (surprisingly).  That was my first 8 miles in a year and a half (September 2021).  

I only have 4 weeks left before the half, and I am seriously thinking I won't do it.  I just don't feel ready, plus, maybe I just don't want to be so slow.  I'm going to be gone the weekend before the half, and I've been pretty lazy on actually doing long runs.  I feel like I'd have to run 10 miles this weekend and at least 11 next, but I just don't want to.  I guess we'll see.  

Just a very brief update on my last post about tracking my food.  I was really excellent with my food choices last week and I lost one lb.  I think that this week wasn't as good, so we will see what my weight does tomorrow.  

My diet

 So . . . how am I doing?  February has been a tough time of year for me for about 25 years, it started when I was pregnant with Damian.  I had a week this year where I just wanted to say screw you and walk out of my job, but I'm feeling a lot better about it now.  My mood is still rather grey, but at least I'm not "quit my job and move to the Caribbean" anymore (although that still sounds wonderful).   

It doesn't help that in the last 6 months to a year I've gained almost 10lbs and can't get rid of any of it (that makes almost 20 lbs since 2020).  I've tried a couple things.  In January I cut out alcohol on the weekdays, and that may have worked except my eating wasn't great.  I also started religiously intermittent fasting.  I started drinking less, but went back to drinking during the week, but much less than I had been.

I've mentioned BeachYogaGirl a couple times when I talk about doing yoga with my sister.  Anyway, she also has a blog, which I wasn't reading, but the last few months she's been talking about menopause and posting on instagram (where I started following her before joining her website).  The blogs have been very informative.  My mom never talked about menopause, or perimenopause, and she's gone now, so I can't ask her.  (Why is menopause such a taboo subject??)  Actually Kerri's blog was the main reason I started intermittent fasting (IF), and doing it as it's supposed to be done.  

This is all over the place, but let me talk about IF a min.  In the past, when I've done it, I would have coffee with creamer in the morning because I am (mildly) addicted to caffeine (not like I have been in the past, I only drink a cup a day and don't drink soda hardly ever).  Anyway, basically the creamer breaks the fast, and it doesn't matter if you don't eat anything.  (I hate black coffee.)  According to what I've read, including Kerri's blog, the purpose of IF is to allow our bodies to increase insulin sensitivity (which is good).  When you fast, insulin decreases (also good) so that your body releases stored sugar and uses it for energy. When you eat or ingest anything that causes your insulin to increase, you break your fast and your body stops releasing the stored sugar.  So, I quit drinking coffee on weekdays.  I started drinking tea (but you have to be careful with tea, some of it will break your fast). I don't mind tea without sugar or creamer.  I've even looked up my vitamins that I take and now take some of them in the evening before starting my fast time because they would break my fast (like collagen).  I am currently fasting about 15 hours, I am not hard on my end time in the evening because my family doesn't always eat early enough, but I do calculate 15 hours from when I end (usually between 6:30p and 7p).  I only do 15 hours because I start getting nauseous from hunger if I go much longer.  I am also not as strict (or even follow it at all) on the weekends.

Anyway, I've been doing this now for almost 2 months and it hasn't helped at all.  

My sister's husband was drinking a premeal thing, and she said it was very expensive, so they looked up alternatives to it, and found out that Metamucil had the same benefits.  She said they've started drinking that, and one of the benefits is appetite control.  Well, I decided to try that too, especially since I was trying to increase my fiber intake (which is the main thing Metamucil is known for).  

My sister asked me if I'm still tracking my food, and I am not.  I quit a long time ago and when I got on MyFitnessPal a few months ago, it changed so much I didn't like it anymore.  She suggested just writing down what I eat, and not counting calories (which has never really helped me anyway)  I'm so addicted to the thought of NEEDING to count calories that I downloaded another app, FatSecret.  The community activity is kind of cool, reminds me of MyFitnessPal before it got very advertise-y.  But then I decided that maybe just writing it down on paper is a good idea.  When I input into an app, I just look at how many calories I have left, maybe I should pay more attention to what I'm eating instead.  So I started doing that this week.  Although, I did not change my eating habits.

I am currently eating a lot of sugar (still working on Christmas candy and now Valentine's day candy.  🙄 Next week I'm going to work on what I'm actually eating.  

My problem is that I truly believe that I will lose weight, but don't actually follow through with making and keeping the changes going.  

Books I'm reading

 So much has happened in the last few months, it's hard to know where to start.  

*All of the links are to Amazon (unless it's linked to an old post of mine).  I get nothing from Amazon, just wanted you to see the books if you're interested.*

I usually do a yearly recap, but last year wasn't super exciting and and I did a runstreak recap, so I'm going to keep it at that.  

In my last post I talked about finding motivation to want to run, and I had read a book Reborn on the Run, which I really enjoyed.  Well, I bought several more and have read one and a half.  The one I finished is called "Out There: A Story of Ultra Recovery" by David Clark.  He was mentioned in "Reborn on the Run" so I looked him up.  He actually died a few years ago during surgery for a herniated disc, so it was a little difficult to read his story, especially since he talked about his first surgery for herniated discs and the recovery. 

The one I'm currently reading is "Eat & Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness" by Scott Jurek.  I am enjoying this book, but he is a hardcore vegan and is obviously trying to sell that type of eating.  He says he's not pushing it, but then will say something like "anyone who is trying to be healthy and eat healthy will automatically eventually become vegan." He often describes meat as animal flesh, which it is, but is just a way of saying it's bad for you without saying it's bad for you. I disagree with that.  I believe you can eat animal products and be healthy.  I do see his reasoning on the hormones and things that our typical grocery meat is injected with, and I would like to eat more free range, and grass fed meat (the biggest problem is that Chris refuses to eat it).  Anyway, other than the hard push on veganism, I do enjoy the book.

(Yes, this is the third book in a row I've read about ultramarathoners, no, I do not desire to do it.  There is something inherent in an ultramarathoner that allows them to put up with the pain, and I don't have that. I think the most I would ever do is a 50k, which is only  miles more than a marathon, but still, I don't think I ever will.)

I have also bought "Out and Back: A Runner's Story of Survival Against All Odds" by Hillary Allen and "Broken Open: Mountains, Demons, Treadmills and a Search for Nirvana" by David Clark . . . interesting, I didn't realize that one was also by David Clark (the guy who died).  I guess we'll see how I like it.  I have a couple in my Amazon cart as well, but figured I should read these first and reevaluate.  

Are they motivating? Yes, I suppose so.  The book I'm reading now also talks a little about technique and breathing.  As I've mentioned many times, I do yoga with my sister, and we always skip the breathing parts, but Scott Jurek talks about how beneficial it is to running, he breathes completely through his nose, which I tried a little yesterday and it's hard! I felt more out of breath that way.  

I also signed up for the Everett Half Marathon that is on April 2nd.  I think that is really what is causing me to run farther.  Yesterday I ran 5 miles for the first time since October.  My last 5 mile run before that was in May.  I'm not really following a plan, I'm just increasing my miles and especially my long run each week.  I've got 9 weeks before the half and 2 of those I'm going to be out of town (they'll be my taper weeks).  I can do it, I just need to go run.  

I am super slow though.  It's hard to see the times on my runs lately, but I am trying to run easy on most of my runs, and keep my heartrate down.  We'll see what happens.

It's funny how things change.  When I first started running I had no idea what my heartrate was.  I just ran.  And I got fast.  When I was training for my first marathon I was running 4 miles at a 8.30mi/hr and my marathon was at a 10.20mi/hr.  This 5 mile run was slower than I ran my marathon.  My second marathon was 10.45mi/hr but that was for 26 miles.  I don't know if  I'll ever be that fast again.  I'd like to.  I would actually like to get under 4 hours for a marathon, but that's 9mi/hr which at the moment seems impossible.  Plus, I don't know if I'll ever do another marathon.  I guess if I ever speed up, I'll think about it.

Anyway, now I think about heartrate and breathing and posture, and I run slow.  Maybe I should just put on my music and run.  I never used to listen to audiobooks other than when I did my long runs and needed to run slower.  I didn't used to have a heartrate monitor on my wrist.  Maybe I should take that strategy again.

Now that I've wasted 5 or 10 min of your time 😉 I'll quit rambling.  I was going to talk about my blood pressure and my diet, but I rambled enough about books and running.  I'll try to touch on those things next time.  😊

Running thoughts

 Have you noticed I haven't been writing much?  I think this might be my record, 2 months without a post.  And I put off an important post, but I suppose it goes along with how my running has been going, for longer than the end of my run streak.  

My runstreak mainly only had me running a mile a day, but essentially I quit running awhile ago.  At least I quit running for any reason other than to keep my streak going.  The heart of it was gone.  

I don't know why, but I haven't been running much.  I think it's the rebellious part of me.  My head saying "I don't have to run if I don't want to," so I don't.  When I ended my runstreak I decided I should have some rules. I've always had running rules, long run on Sunday, never run on Monday, run on Thursday or Friday.  Things like that.  Well, I didn't want to go back to rules . . . I just got off one 4 year long rule of having to run every day, but I also didn't want to have no rules because that means I will quit running.  So I decided no going more than 2 days without a run.  

In December I decided I didn't want to run because it was cold.  We had a couple snow storms and an ice storm, but I was feeling guilty, so I started to go walk on my treadmill.  That actually helped a little, but then the week before Christmas I missed 3 days in a row and the week after Christmas I didn't run for 5 days (including January 1st).  I actually was sad I didn't run on New Year's day, it's the first year I haven't run on the first day of the year in years (even longer than my runstreak).  but we were coming back from E. WA that day, so I didn't have the time.  

I want to want to run, but I'm struggling with it.  What helped me to start in the first place was reading blogs, especially Katie at Runs for Cookies. I don't know if you've noticed, but blogs aren't very popular anymore and many (most) of the ones I started reading are gone.  And Katie doesn't talk much about running anymore (I still love reading hers, but it doesn't motivate me to run anymore).  So I bought a book.  I've enjoyed a couple of running books, "North" by Scott Jurek, "Running Man: A Memoir," by Charlie Engle, and "Fast Girl; running from madness," by Suzy Favor Hamilton.  I've also read "Wild: From lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail," by Cheryl Strayed (a movie I love with Reese Witherspoon), not a running book, but still inspires me. So I bought a book "Reborn on the Run," by Catra Corbett and Dan England.  I read it in two days.  😊  I also subscribed to Runner's World again.  I haven't been able to read it since my Mom died because she used to subscribe to it for me.  But I need the inspiration right now.

I have a couple other books in my Amazon cart, and I got a couple on Amazon Unlimited, so we will see.  "Reborn on the Run" was a really good book, and yes, it does make me want to run more.  Although Catra, the person the book was about, was an ultrarunner, and I don't have a desire to do that, even after reading her book, or maybe I should say, especially after reading her book.  

One of the things I've struggled with is moving.  I love my new house, but I miss my old neighborhood, and my running routes.  I lived within the same 5 block radius since I moved to Mount Vernon in 2007, even when we moved, I was still able to run the same routes I started on.  Burlington is nothing but dead end streets.  It annoys me. And in order to get even just 3 miles on residential streets (which I like), I have to run through the small downtown.  Otherwise it's running on the dike next to the river.  It's pretty, but I like the houses, I've always enjoyed looking at houses.  

Today I decided I'd go run and through the residential areas, and expected only to get 2 miles.  I ended up with over 3, but I also ended up having to run on a two lane highway for a little while because I misjudged where the trail starts next to that highway.  Where I was was still "residential" but is definitely a highway (Hwy 20) where the speed limit is higher than . . . say Pine St. in the middle of town.  I ended up walking the 0.4 miles after hitting 3 miles.  It is obvious that I'm losing some of my running fitness, I was a little sore after just 3 miles today.  

I think I'm going to sign up for a half marathon for the spring.  That will force me to run. My Mom's death caused me to lose as much interest in running and races, maybe my Dad's death will be my way back into running more.

The end of a 4 year streak

~Because it took me so long to finish this post, it ended up very picture heavy, not quite how I wanted to write it.  I just wanted to get it done. ~

I started this post the second week of November, I worked on it the first week of December and then have just kind of ignored it. I think this post is going to be a long one, and I just haven't wanted to take the time to write it.  Plus, I have so many thoughts about it, that it's hard to wrangle them into one space.  Often, lately (and by lately I mean the last several years) when I have a lot going on or a lot to share, I do just a picture post, but this one deserves more. 

I'm talking about the end of my run streak.

Maybe I'll start with the beginning of my run streak: 

    I have been kicking around the idea of a run streak.  I know that there is a popular one from Thanksgiving through New Year's.  I've never done a run streak, but for some reason, this year, it sounds interesting.  The rules of a run streak are that you have to run at least one mile every single day.  There was a story on the news a few weeks ago about a guy with the 5th longest run streak, he had ran for 40+ years, every day, one mile.  Then one day he was hurt and he quit mid-run.  I can't imagine running that much, I think he was in his late 70's when he quit.  Then I heard my supervisor and another lady at my work talking about their 100 day run streak (they didn't really do it though, they committed to 100 miles in 100 days but they counted a 5 mile run and then they didn't have to run for 4 days if they didn't want to, and neither one of them actually accomplished 100 miles in 100 days), but it got me thinking that it would be interesting if I could do it.

I am terrible at follow through, unless it's a race.  So I wonder if I can come up with some sort of reward for completing it.  I don't know what that would be though.  It has to be something I wouldn't do or get anyway. 

I wrote that on Oct. 22, 2018 and you can find it here, 

It's funny that I wrote "I'm terrible at follow through . . ."  That run streak lasted 4 years.  

I have thought a lot about why I decided to do it, and I look at the year I started, 2018.  That was a hugely significant year for me, it was the year I lost my Mom.  I know for a fact that I started school (master's degree) as a result of losing her, I needed something to take my thoughts away from the pain and memories.  But did I start a run streak because of it?  Maybe, not consciously, but maybe.  I also stopped running races.  Oh I ran a few, in 2018 I ran ones I had already committed to, plus the one I found while we were in Ocean Shores and the half marathon on my Mom's birthday that year. But I really lost the desire to run races after my Mom died.  I think it was the idea at the time that there were such bigger things than races.  

I know that one of the reasons I kept running every day was because of my Dad.  I've suspected for years that deep down my Dad wanted to be a runner.  When I was in high school (and younger) I loved running. (You can read how and when I learned I loved running here.) My Dad would challenge me to a race, he always won, of course, but I enjoyed it.  When I started running I decided to do Bloomsday  because he mentioned thinking about doing it.  He talked about doing it every year that my sister and I have, and he even started training for it (walking) 6 or 7 years ago but he got sick and never really got back into training.  Anyway, every time I talked to my Dad he would ask me "Still running?" and I would say yes and give him the number of days of my run streak.  I think he enjoyed that I was doing it.  

So what does 4 years of daily running look like?  Well, I've run everywhere (well, I never did run in an airport and always thought that would be cool).  I ran back and forth (and back and forth and back and forth) in a hospital room when Maddox had his appendix taken out. 

I didn't realize that happened right after I started my runstreak.  That picture was taken Thanksgiving 2018, which I started the streak the first of November 2018.

Races

In June of 2019 I ran my first (and only) Ragnar, which also was my last in person race.  My Dad came over and "followed" me while I ran.  He often asked when I was going to do it again.  I had decided to do it, mainly for him, but then he died.  I don't really have a desire to run another Ragnar.

ragnar

I did a few virtual runs, this one, the Tulip Run, was the last Tulip run I did.  I have not done it since, and it used to be one of my "always" runs from the very beginning of my running journey. 

Trips

At the end of February of 2019 I went to Hawaii with my sister and brother-in-law (and Chris).  I will say, Hawaii is my most favorite run ever.  If I go back, I will probably run everyday while there.  I love it, even when I feel like I don't want to or don't have time, I still love it.

And then in August of 2019 my Dad took us on a cruise to Alaska.  

I will say it over and over, Hawaii running is my favorite.  There is no better view.  These two were in 2021 and I can't wait to go back so I can run there again . . . well, and do all the fun sun things.  😊

I ran in Long Beach, WA.

In 2019, I ran in Idaho while there for my 20 year college class reunion.

I ran at the Grand Canyon, sadly I didn't run along the Canyon, I wish I had.  If we had gone when the original trip was planned, with my Dad, I would have been able to because our hotel was right along the Canyon.  However, he died a month before that trip was supposed to happen so was postponed.  

We went to Vancouver, WA a couple times in the last few years for different family (Chris's family) events.  I think this one was his Grandma's 90th birthday party in 2021.

In 2020 we went to Deer Lake 3 times between March and September, the most we had ever been there in one year.  Somehow, we have continued to do long weekends, as well as our yearly August trip since then.  I ran every day while there.  

Pandemic

I ran through a pandemic, seeing deer in the middle of town in the middle of the day.

The creepiest run I've done in a long time, through a cemetery in the fog.

Also, in 2020 being cooped up at home forced social issues to be realized, or was at least highlighted.  "Irunwithmaud" was the hashtag after Armaud Arbery was murdered by men who chased him while he ran.  

In 2017 (pre-run streak), I started having a pain in my leg that I found out was caused by arthritis in my hip.  I had been pretty much ignoring it, until sometime in the last 4 years.  I found this stuff, Dragon Balm, which has CBD oil and rubbed it on my trouble areas.  It smells terrible but worked okay.  Then I started doing yoga with my sister in 2021 and that has almost completely alleviated the pain from my arthritis (I still recommend this stuff though).

Kids

I ran with my kids, even Asher, who was the cutest runner partner I had.  He just bounced, and bounced while I ran on my treadmill.  😄

Eastern Washington

In 2022 I ran in eastern WA a lot.  I was there monthly dealing with my dad's house.  I have so many pictures there.  I ran the day my Dad died, and I ran the day after he died.  (On a side note, I remember my first run after my Mom died, she died of a lung disease and being out of breath made me think of her.  It was maybe my hardest run ever. But it wasn't during my runstreak.)

My most favorite running picture ever.

In 2019 they did repairs on the highway close to my Dad's house so they closed several miles of it.  I grew up there, never walked on that highway, but that year, I got to run on it.

This was actually December of 2021, it was sub-zero temperatures and I ran around the barn 4 times (I think) to get to one mile because it was easier than running on the road. 

Same area, different season.

Milestones

I reached one year on my runstreak and thought I was so clever to write "365" on my route.  It wasn't until a day later, after I posted on Facebook, that a friend of mine asked why I ran "E65."  😂😂

My two year runstreak anniversary . . . I swore I took a different picture, but I can't find it, and this was taken on Oct. 31, 2020, so it has to be the one.  

I thought 900 days in a row was a big deal, so I decided to try to write a number again and was much more successful than E65.  

For 2021 I went to a trail near my house and did my runstreak anniversary run.  

2022 was a year I didn't do anything exciting for my runstreak anniversary.  I think I may have even been sick that year.

And my last day of my "official" runstreak.  I actually ended up running two more days after this because the weather was so nice.  But the reason I ended it was so I could run when I wanted to, not because I felt I had to.  So I ran . . . because I wanted to.  (Although I did joke with my sister that it was runstreak days 1 and 2.)

Seasons

Obviously I ran through all seasons.  Fall and spring are my favorite, but not while it's raining or windy.

It wouldn't really count if I didn't include the season of rain (which is about 10 months of the year)

I ran on Christmas day and in the snow (which I love).  I love running while it's snowing, as long as there isn't snow already on the road.  😊

This was after a treadmill run.  I was so hot, I thought a snow angel would be a great way to cool down.  It was . . . maybe too cool though.  I think I much prefer the method of cooling down in the pool after a hot run during the summer.  😂

Treadmill running

I think 2022 was the year of the treadmill . . . and the one mile runs.  However, these pictures span from 2018 to the end of my runstreak.

My brand new treadmill.

Maybe I'm not running in this picture, but I did, at the beginning of the pandemic, walk a lot on my treadmill while I worked from home.  Once I got my "closet office" I quit doing it, but it was really nice for a while.  

The end