Still stressed

 With all that's been going on, I decided to do a virtual conference at our Lake house in eastern WA this week.  The conference was about child trauma (I'm a child therapist, if you didn't know).  I think it was a good conference, however, I had a really hard time concentrating on it.  Also, last weekend at the Lake the weather app I have said it was 80, so far this week it hasn't reached 60.  Next weekend is supposed to be in the 70s.  How frustrating.

I got here on Wednesday, the conference started at 6:30am Thursday.  Wednesday, when I got here was very nice, but then I was woken up in the middle of the night from the wind.  I had brought my hammock chair and it was blowing around and hitting things loudly. I thought someone was in the house, then when I realized it was outside, I thought someone was trying to get inside.  I finally realized it was my hammock chair and took it down, but then the rest of the night I dreamt that someone was in the house.  (I am alone here, well, alone with my dog.) I had to remind myself that Peanut would bark or growl or something, so I was finally able to calm down.  

It happened, sorta, again last night.  I thought I had closed the door to the entry way, and it was open, so I closed it, I thought.  Then I noticed it was open again and it looked like my shoes were moved.  Freaked me out.  I grabbed my phone and the pepperspray I brought, and searched the house.  I realized I was being stupid, because once again, Peanut would have alerted me.

I don't think I have any updates.  My last post about my house was the beginning of April, before that it was in the middle of February.  I'm sure more things have happened other than trying to figure out my flood damage and the rot damage in my house, but I have no idea what.  I'm not running much.  I've been sick 3 or more times since the beginning of the year.  I'm pretty tired of it.  I am still taking weight loss meds, and have lost about 20 lbs since September, which is nice.  I keep worrying about what happens when I go off them though.  I've heard bad things about weight gain when you go off them and I don't want to stay on them indefinitely.  I am struggling with motivation to exercise, right now I'm eating really well, but a lot of that has to do with the weight loss meds.  

I guess my plan is to decrease the dosage slowly when I get to where I want to be, and work on the eating while decreasing the dose.  I also really do want to exercise more, I enjoy running, we all know that, and I think about what a nice day it is and how much I want to go run, then I get home, put on comfy clothes and sit on my ass. I don't know why I am not actually running.

Worn down

2/24/2026

 I have very little time, but thought I'd do a brief post.  

I had my consultation with a surgeon on my abnormal breast cells and I am scheduled for surgery.  He said that the cells they did already test are not cancerous, but they are a precursor to cancer and he wants to remove them all and test those just to be safe (make sure none of them are cancerous).

4/9/2026

-Wow I didn't realize I didn't finish this, nor have I updated for a full month.  I have had A LOT going on.  The surgery for my boob happened in March, he took out a bunch of cells and tested them.  Weirdly, they found no more abnormal cells, and no cancer. Yay!  So at this point I'm going in every 6 months to get checked.

-The week after my surgery, we had a contractor out looking at our house to repair the flood damage and found water inside the wall where there shouldn't be water.  The contractor took a look and found mold upstairs.  He looked at the door where the damage was done and saw that the frame was rotten.  They came out the next week and removed walls to see what was wrong, and found out that the whole support beam for the side of the house has rot. 

So now we have to fix that.  $30,000.

Then there's the flood insurance, still haven't gotten money for that.  We applied for a loan that goes through FEMA, still working on that.  However, all that money is meant for the flood repair and they want proof that things got done with it.  The contractor has suspended work until we have money for half down.  I have no idea when that will be, but it has to be done.

I am worn down.  I've been sick this year more than normal, and am just tired.  Tired all the time.  I need a break.  I need an adult to come help me.  I need money.