Why do we have to have a title?

 My 2 followers (Love you! 💕) both asked about my run 2 weekends ago, so I decided I'd post.  I have thought about posting several times last week but I've posted a lot lately, so have refrained.  I have felt like posting more because I am reading my old blogs and it gets me thinking about it again.  

Anyway, I ended up running on my treadmill.  It was horrible.  I bought these earphones a while ago and mostly like them. (They are hard to hear when it's loud, like a busy street, or a loud treadmill.)  

Because my treadmill has developed a thumping noise in it (happened after we moved) it can be really loud, so I stopped my run for a bit to get my other ones that go in my ear and are mostly noise canceling.  Well, then I couldn't connect those to my Kindle to watch the show I had on, so I used my phone, however, because it took me so long to figure out my headphones the treadmill thought I was done running and turned off after a mile.  I just couldn't get into the run, I just didn't want to be there.  I kept stopping and fiddling with things, or just resting, or turning on the fan.   

On my treadmill if I hit stop it stops the belt but not the workout and then if you hit start you start back up at the same pace and all the stats are for one run, well, I accidentally hit stop twice, which stops the workout and you basically have to start over.  I did that not once, but twice (because I kept stopping because I didn't want to run on the treadmill).  Luckily I was able to capture the treadmill time because at one point I realized my Garmin was no longer calibrated to the treadmill.  I have to run a full mile, according to the Garmin, to calibrate, so the third mile I decided to calibrate the run.  I had to restart my Garmin to recalibrate, so I did that.  But then I had to run about a tenth of a mile more than 1 mile so that I could calibrate it. 

Anyway, at one point I looked outside, I had the garage doors open, and saw it wasn't raining, and then it was only drizzling and I figured I should have just gone for a run outside.  However, a few min later it was pouring.   My total mileage was 3.22 . . . but it took me (no joke) an hour to "run" those 3 miles.  When I told Chris that, he said that I could walk 3 miles in an hour, and I laughed and said "pretty much." And, he's right.  My sister and I walked 3.63 miles in August in exactly an hour.

Last Sunday I ran 4 miles and then barely ran all week.  I only logged 10 miles.  It feels disheartening, but also, I'm easily able to talk myself out of runs, I didn't run at all Sunday, which is supposed to be my long run day.

I'm not sure how much I've talked about my weight in the last couple years, but I've gained all the weight I lost 10 years ago back. It's been frustrating because I knew I was gaining weight and I would work on losing it. I would lose one or two (sometimes 5) lbs, and then be back up with another pound added on.  I would get disheartened and say f*ck it and then gain a little more, only to crack down again and try to lose it and be unsuccessful.  To say I've been frustrated and annoyed is an understatement. In case you didn't know, this is all part of perimenopause including the lack of motivation, and I know I'm in the middle of it.

With that said, my office manager, who is in her mid-50s has been struggling with the same issue, and she's consistently tried (way more than me) and been unsuccessful.  She knows an ARNP that does weight loss meds that are not very expensive.  I've been thinking about weight loss meds for a couple years, but they have been too expensive, and I don't necessarily trust the companies online that advertise them cheap.  Anyway, when my office manager had been on her pills a few months she came to me complaining that she "only" lost 10lbs in 6 weeks, and I was sold.  I told her 10lbs in 6 weeks is awesome.  At about the same time, I got some money from the farm so I decided to try it.  I'm doing Phentermine, which is not a shot, it is a pill and it boosts your metabolism and suppresses hunger.  It was one of the ingredients in Phen-Fen (or Fen-Phen whichever came first) but it is not the one that caused heart palpitations and death.

Anyway, I've been on the pills for 4 weeks and as of Friday, I've lost 8lbs.  Obviously, my weight fluctuates, and it's higher today than it was on Friday, but it's also lower than it was last Tuesday, so that is a win. 

If you're curious, I paid $225 for 2 months of pills.  She's got a $300 consultation fee on top of that, thankfully going forward it won't be $525, it will be $225-ish every 2 months, with monthly check-ins. I know some people feel this is cheating, but seriously, it's been a struggle for awhile now and I'm tired of it.  

I'm also hoping that these pills are unlike GLP-1 shots where I won't be dependent on them forever to keep the weight off.  I'm hoping to lose the weight and go off them and maintain.  Maybe I'll get out of this stupid perimenopause phase and it won't be so bad.  (I think once you've gone menopausal 😆things even out a little . . . I hope 🤞).