Stories

 Have I ever mentioned that when I was younger I wrote stories?  I think I have.  I quit a long time ago.  I don't really know why.  I used to blame it on a guy. He was my first "real" boyfriend in high school.  He was everything to me, and really damaged me emotionally, although, with age, I look back and think he only did it because he was damaged.  He isn't a bad person.  I don't know him well anymore, we are "facebook friends" now, but I did see him a little in my 20s and he turned out okay, and was definitely not the manipulative asshole I thought he might be when I was younger.  

Anyway, he (I believe, unintentionally) damaged me when I was young, and I quit writing.  Or so I thought.  Looking back on it, I think I quit writing before I started dating him.  So I don't really know why I stopped.  I get the urge every now and then, but never really do much.  The few times I've tried to write a story, I think it is so amateurish and silly, that I stop.  Maybe I never got past that early teen stage of writing, so now my stories are all based on that mentality.  

How many people love to write, and then one day just stop?  How many people think of stories, but never put them to paper?  My Mom used to tell me she thought I was going to be a reporter when I was young.  She also said once that she thought that someday I'd write a biography about what happened with that same boy.  Honestly, that story isn't that great.  It sounds weird to say it, because I truly don't believe he meant harm, but he was emotionally abusive to me, but again, I truly don't think he grew up to be that way.  I think he was going through his own crap and didn't know how to handle our relationship, so pushed me away a lot.

Anyway, I think that many of the bloggers that are still out there are probably writers at heart.  Blogging hit it's peak, maybe about the time I started doing it, and is definitely on the decline.  Many of the people I used to follow are gone, even ones that had a lot of followers. 

After my Dad died, we went through the stuff in my parents' house and I found a box titled "Memories."  I had always wondered what happened to the stories I'd written when I was little.  I went to a young writers conference when I was in 6th grade, and maybe even 5th (I don't remember how often).  When I went through that box I found my stories, but when I went through it at my parents' house, I didn't really remember what was there.  Anyway, I was just looking at it and found a story I don't even remember writing (I remember the others).  Honestly, it was terrible, I definitely liked to write in dialogue.  That particular story was 90% dialogue.  Anyway, looking at my stories, was kind of fun.  

Oh, I wrote terrible poetry.