Get out of your head

 I'll admit, my first week went better than my second week.  I have noticed I can do pretty good for a week, but then it starts to crumble and I give up.  So this is me, forcing myself to not give up.  Last spring when I was doing intermittent fasting I was also logging my food and weekly weight.  I didn't feel like I was being successful at the time, plus Maddox's sports being so late, so I stopped. I had quit using Myfitnesspal because it changed and I didn't like it as much, so I was logging my weight in a notebook without calories attached.  This time around, I've gone back to Myfitnesspal, and it really is unrecognizable, but it's not as awful as I thought.

It's been freezing cold here, and that is literally.  Western WA doesn't often see freezing temperatures but this week it hasn't been above 32degrees since Thursday.  Well, that definitely stopped me from running.  I know that I've run in freezing temperatures before, but I just didn't want to, and I guess I haven't completely solved my lack of motivation (see previous post) issue.  Yesterday was supposed to be the coldest day but it was sunny.  I gazed outside and decided I did not want to freeze my bum off, so I told myself I'd run today.  Instead, I read an entire book.  It also doesn't help that my sister went out of town for the weekend with her husband so we didn't do yoga pilates (I gotta quit calling it yoga, it is definitely more pilates than yoga) yesterday, and my morning schedule last week was crazy, so we only did it 2 times during the week.

Well, this morning, I was well on my way to finishing another book in a day, but I finally decided to get off my a....butt and go for a walk/run.  While I was run/walking I was thinking about how frustrated I am about letting myself gain 25 lbs (10-15lbs in just the last 6 months) and also that it doesn't just melt off after I've been good for a week or two.  I've been weighing myself daily, and writing it down, and I've been discouraged because the last 4 days I've fluctuated in the low 170s.  I was feeling that same amount of discouragement I felt last spring.  When I got back I was looking at my old food logs, and while I wasn't losing quickly, it was a steady decline.  In March I weighed in at 162, and my last weight recorded at that time was 159 in May.  Only 3 lbs, but still 3 lbs in a little over 2 months.

I did create a new page on here, called Countdown to August 2024.  I thought it'd be fun to have my weekly goal weight on the page and I'd cross it off as I got to it.  As I was calculated the 0.5lbs I was supposed to lose weekly, I got to August and realized that 1/2 a pound a week wasn't enough to get to where I want to be.  I increased it to 0.75 a week, and that was still not good enough.  I didn't want to go to a pound a week because I didn't think that was realistic, so after more calculations, 0.81 lbs a week is where I need to be to be 150 by August.  

Well, the first week it dropped quickly, and I was happy, but remember that just before weighing myself on 1/2 I had been in e. WA with family eating junk, and was likely carrying a lot of water weight.  I went from 175 to 172.4 in a week, 3 1/2 lbs is amazing in one week, but now I'm freaking out, because I'm fluctuating in my daily weigh-ins.  Friday I was 173, yesterday I was 171.2, and today I was 172 . . . granted, according to my calculations, next Tuesday I'm supposed to be at 173.38, but I definitely don't want to see the number go up in a week.  Although, maybe I should look at it as an experiment in food and drink for this second week to see what I need to tweak.  But it is very discouraging.  My brain automatically goes to, what if I can't get lower than 170?  I seem to always get stuck at these numbers, and in my head I was stuck at the 160 mark in the spring.  

Maybe it's the daily weigh-ins?  But I also like the accountability of the daily weigh-ins.  When I was doing this 10 years ago, I weighed daily, but I could make myself only look at the end of the week number.  I'm struggling with that this time.  

I need to keep reminding myself the slow numbers are okay, and to look at the trend, not the daily fluctuations.  And also, my January 30th goal weight is 171.76.  I've already had two days lower than that at 171.2 both times.  

So yeah, this is my "get out of your head" post.  Just eat well, and exercise. 

I got a small "walking pad" for Christmas

that I put in my office at work.