Rabbit hole

  Have you (those of you that write in a blog) gotten sucked into a rabbit hole of your own posts?  My sister told me a few weeks ago that she read that hypothyroidism has many of the same symptoms as peri-menopause and she talked to her OB/GYN who said that if you are on hormonal birthcontrol you won't have peri-menopausal symptoms.  I didn't believe her at first, but then was looking at hypothyroidism symptoms are almost identical to peri-menopausal symptoms.  

Anyway, yesterday I was looking at foods that are good and not good for an underactive thyroid and remembered I used to drink a "green drink" which was almond milk, frozen blueberries, spinach and cinnamon.  I couldn't remember all that I put in it, so I was searching my posts for it and ended up going down the rabbit hole.  

Somehow one of my marathon and several other races I've done ended up in the search results even though they didn't mention "green drink."  

I ended up reading several of my posts about my first marathon in 2015 and remembered how much my family supported me.  This is the first post (of the ones I read) that talked about my family support, it's not really about them, more about my crazy head space.  Here's the second one again, not specifically about my family, more about the results of a 5k I did that year, but part of the group of marathon posts I wrote.

But this one, this one right here, made me miss my parents a lot, especially my dad.  Back then I never thought a lot about it, and it was really his death that made me realize that he was my biggest supporter.  He drove me to my first marathon, I don't know what I thought back then, I just thought he didn't want me to have to drive in alone, which might have been part of it, but I think it was more that it was his quiet way of supporting me.  I also think that he wished he ran.  I never asked him, but now I wonder if that was something he enjoyed, but never had time for.  Farmers work from sunup to sundown and I don't think he ever prioritized himself or his health.

~quick aside talking about my parent's support, I also read this post about my Leavenworth half marathon in 2017 where my parents drove to Leavenworth to watch me finish that half and then take me to lunch.  I don't know what they did afterwards, I wish I had asked, they probably did something, but I was the reason they made the drive.

Then there were my sisters and mom who drove all over the place just to meet me to cheer me on.  And lastly, there was Damian.  That post I just linked up there, man, I forgot how much Damian encouraged me at the end of the race.  

While I was reading those posts I realized I will never have that support again.  Yes, I likely won't ever do another marathon, but I don't have my parents.  I don't have that safe place to stay where my Mom will thaw steaks just so I have a high protein dinner right before a giant race.  I have my sisters and Chris, Damian and Maddox, but there was something special about my parents being there, especially my Dad.

To make this post go in a full circle, I did message my doctor about checking my thyroid, and was told I had a thyroid test in 2022 and it was normal.  That means my weight gain is my fault and peri-menopause and that sucks.