New beginnings

 Well, I was able to squeak a loss in last week.  My last post talked about how I haven't been able to get under 169 for awhile, but I needed to last week according to my calculations to stay on track.  On Tuesday (my current weigh-in day) I was exactly 168.  And that's really where I've been all week.  On Wednesday I made it down to 167.4, but I've been back up to 168 . . . well, only the last 2 days.  

It's funny what you tell yourself, and then you look at what you recorded, and you were wrong.  3 of 7 days I was 167.4 and 167.2, I guess it's still a majority of days that I've landed on 168.  I'm really glad I'm writing down my weight daily, it really has helped me mentally to not get discouraged and to continue to try. I also measured myself today and those haven't changed, well my waist *may* be down an inch, but I think it's easy to not get the same spot from month to month, and may be wrong, especially since everything else was the same.

I did not run at all, nor did I walk at all, last week.  Not once. I don't know why, I just didn't feel like it, so I didn't do it.  Which is weird because I was excited to be running more.  I did force myself to go out today in the cold and windy (really windy) weather.

Holy cow all this talk of weight and numbers is boring.  But really it has been overwhelmingly on my mind. ~New topic~

I have decided to leave my job.  I've been working at the same agency for 9 years and 3 months.  I created the program that I work in, which is a therapeutic court program, it was expanded to 2 different courts while I was there, and also started a substance use court (so at one time I had 5 different court programs I helped to create and managed, however two of those courts were discontinued in 2023).  For 7 years I worked alone and had no one else who knew anything about what I did (not even my supervisor), in the last 2 years I became a manager and at one time had 3 people under me (not a lot, but I was happy with it).  The recidivism rate for my first court hovers around 7%, which means only 7% of people who have graduated in the last 9 years committed another crime, and that is a 93% success rate.  I have both loved my job and hated the agency I worked with (I actually like the agency now though). 

I cannot count how many coworkers I've had because my agency has such a ridiculously high turnover rate, but I have had 5 supervisors while there (see, high turnover rate) and actually am the most senior person at the agency on the clinical and admin side (there is also a manufacturing side, but there are several people on that side that's been there longer than me).  In 9 years there has been 9 total admin assistants (many stayed more than a year, but obviously not all).  

The reason I am leaving is because when I finished school in 2021, I was promised counseling hours so that I can get my full license to be a counselor.  I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor Associate (LMHCA) and I have to have 1200 face to face hours with clients to be able to take the test and become a LMHC.  After 2 years and 4 months I have about 400 face to face hours, in a normal counseling job, it would typically take about 2 years to get enough hours, and I am not even half way there at over 2 years.  I understand that my "official" job is not a counselor at this agency, but the only reason I stayed was because I was promised I could do counseling.  

In the last few weeks I have just become tired of trying to eek out hours where ever I can, to never get enough, so I decided to apply for another job.  I applied to where I did my internship in 2021, got an interview, and was offered the job on the spot.  It took me two weeks to decide if I really wanted to leave or not, and last week I decided I needed to.  My new job will be a therapist for kids, and it's exactly why I went back to school.  

I'm nervous, and really sad to be leaving my job, the program that I built, and my clients, but I think it's the best decision for me right now.  I start my new job on April 15th (as a manager, I have to put in 4 weeks notice, then the first week of April is spring break, and I'm going to take it off with Maddox, but my new agency only does onboarding certain days, and their next day after spring break isn't until the 15th.)