Life goes on for the living

This week I was supposed to be at the Grand Canyon with my dad and sister.  It was my dad's graduation gift to me.  As you know, we didn't go.  Well, I assume you know, since my Dad is no longer here.  Instead I went to my parent's house with my sister and her husband because we had a meeting with his attorney and accountant.  We stayed for the week so she could go through paperwork, and I am working remotely (which I do at home anyway).  

Honestly, even though it was a hard week, it was also sorta what I needed.  Yes, I still have to get up and do some work, but I do not have to worry about my family.  I have a bed to myself and just don't have to think about my son.  I think I do a lot of worrying about him and while I've been here I haven't had that burden.  I also do a lot of mediating between him and my husband, and again, while here, I haven't had that.  

This morning I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep because my room was too hot. My sister gets up at 5 because she starts work at 6 and she turns on the heater.  She already likes it much warmer than I do, and then for her to turn it up to 72 (yikes!) at 5am was too much for me today.  I ended up grabbing some icepacks from the freezer, I put two on my feet and one in the pillow I hug, and fell back asleep.  It was sooooo nice to sleep until after 7:30.  At home I would have had to get up and get Maddox going for school, but here, I don't have to do that.

My sister is coming back here in a few weeks and asked if I wanted to come, and while the answer for me is a resounding Yes! I don't think my family will appreciate it.  Even though I didn't go to the Grand Canyon, and even though I had to work, this week has been exactly what I needed that I didn't realize I needed.  I do have to go back today because tomorrow I have a work training.  I'm not excited about that at all, but I have to go.  

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October was supposed to be my running month.  I had ramped up my long runs, doing 8, 9, and 10 miles.  I was doing some speed work, hill repeats every week, and I was excited to get to 100 miles this month.  Well, then my Dad died and I've been in eastern Washington 4 times this month so my mileage plummeted. So instead of getting close to 100 miles, I'm currently at 64 miles for the month with 4 runs left.  I doubt I'll even get to 80 miles.

November 1 is my 3 year run streak anniversary.  My first anniversary I ran 3.65 miles and spelled out E65 (Lol!! I meant to spell out 365). Last year, my 2 year anniversary, my ankle was really bothering me so I only ran 2 miles to celebrate.  This year I don't know what I'm going to do. It seems like a big deal to me, but it is only to me, no one else cares.  If I had continued with my long runs, I would plan to run 10.96 miles (1096 days for 3 years, including a leap year), but my 10 mile run was at the beginning of the month (the day before my dad died) and I've been mostly running 1 and 3 miles since then.  And I just don't know if I have the motivation and desire.  

Poor me

Someone told me, it was only two weeks ago, but I can't remember who, that many people get depressed when they finish graduate school.  I thought that was so weird.  I couldn't wait to finish.  And I sit here thinking how depressed I am.  It probably has nothing to do with finishing school.  It probably has nothing to do with losing my Dad.  It is probably nothing.

Did you know that I am in the mental health field?  I've been in the field for 20 years.  I just graduated with a master's degree in counseling.  

Oh, I didn't mention that? exactly one and a half weeks after my Dad died, I finished school.  This week was the first week where I didn't have homework, or anything at all due.  Since January 8th, it's the first week where I didn't have two jobs to worry about, and meetings that go until 7pm.  And I'm sad.  I really just want to go somewhere and do nothing for at least a week.  But I can't.  I have decisions to make, sisters to deal with, a family, and a job.  I have responsibilities.  I am a responsible adult.

I want to curl up and cry.

Daddy

                Thomas John Pence died peacefully in his sleep at home early in the morning of October 4, 2021, at the age of 74. 

               Tom was born on May 7, 1947, in Spokane, WA to George and Eleanor (Borth) Pence of Lind, WA.  He lived on the family farm with his 5 brothers and sisters until he graduated from Lind High School.  He then attended Wenatchee Valley Community College in Wenatchee, WA.  After completing school there, he went on to Washington State University in Pullman, WA where he graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Animal Husbandry.  He continued to be a WSU sports fan his whole life.  After his father’s health declined, he moved back to the family farm and worked with his brother, Bob Pence, until Bob passed away in 2018.  Even though he loved the farm, he had a passion for animals and always kept a herd of cattle on the farm.

               While in Wenatchee he met Shirley Curl and they married on June 21^st, 1969.  After getting married they settled into a happy life together on the family farm and raised four daughters who were his pride and joy. 

               Tom was devoted to his family and loved spending time with his daughters, grandchildren, and great-grandchild.  He enjoyed watching their extracurricular activities and was their biggest supporter.  He will be remembered for his kindness, generosity, and his willingness to help whenever needed. 

               Tom was an active member of the Connell Church of the Nazarene.  He was a youth group leader, church board member, board steward, and board secretary.

               Tom is survived by his four daughters, Barbara Pence of Hatton, Nancy (Scott) Curl of Lynnwood, Cathy (Chris) Wheatcroft of Mount Vernon, and Tami Davis of Lind.  He had 6 grandchildren, Matthew and Kaylee of Hatton, Josh of Seattle, Damian and Maddox of Mount Vernon, and AJ of Lind and great-grandchild Asher of Mount Vernon. As well as his brother, Marc (Barb) Pence of Portland, OR; sister Jane Pence of Spokane and sister Judy Pence of Lind along with several nieces and nephews.  Waiting to welcome him home was his beloved wife, Shirley, his sister Mary Kay Pence, his brother Bob Pence and his parents. 

               Visitation will be at the Danekas Funeral Home in Ritzville on Friday, October 15, 2021 from 11am until 7pm.   The internment will be held at the Lind Cemetery on Saturday, October 16, 2021 at 10am with the memorial service following at the Connell Church of the Nazarene at 11:30am.