Make good choices!

I'm just going to say this now, my heaviest weight was 180 back in 2011, I was never bigger than that (well, maybe after my oldest son in 1998, but I didn't really weigh myself much back then and it wasn't much bigger than that, never 190 or above).  I am now 156, up 10(ish) lbs from what I'd like to be at the highest, I realize 156 is some people's goal weight and I think that's great, but I did not start with a ton of weight to lose, and the 156 feels heavy on me.  I do not want to claim I am at the same level as all those others who have had remarkable journeys, or are on remarkable journeys, I am where I am and can only talk about that.  (Probably why I have only 20 reads on my blog on a good day.) Please don't judge me for complaining about my weight in this post . . .

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I've been talking about Katie at Runs for Cookies for a long time (she's technically my best friend since she did comment once on a post, she just doesn't realize it).  She was my first introduction to running blogs, and I will admit she was the reason I started running races, and is one of the reasons I continued running in the early years.  She isn't doing much running right now, but she still blogs (she's been blogging every single day since Jan. 1 2020) and she is very open about her mental illness, struggles with her weight, and most aspects about her life (she's understandably not as open about her family, but still talks about them).  Every once in a while she posts something that resonates deeply inside of me, one of them was many years ago when she talked about motivation vs. determination (while looking for her post I realized she posted that way back in 2012.  You can read what she says about it in the link above.)

Anyway, she wrote another post that really spoke to me a week or so ago about her desire to start running again.  She has walked every day for 223 days, and while I've ran every day for 485 days, I've only ran at least one mile a day, she's walked at least 5 miles a day for 223 days.  Walked.  That is a commitment.  If I need to get my one mile in, I know I can be done in less than 15 min, including dressing time.  She walks 5 miles, if I run 5 miles that's at least 50 min, but she's walking . . . that's a commitment.  

Anyway, this post from a week ago . . . it makes me want to go run.  It makes me think of my struggle to lose the pesky 10-15 lbs (depending on what weight I decide I want to be at the end) I've regained.  I took away from reading the post that getting there is hard, and it's the choices that you make all day, every day that get you to where you want to be.  

I always think of 2015 as my "magical" time in my running history.  That was the year I trained for and completed my first marathon.  It was also the year I saw the biggest weight loss in the shortest amount of time.  I went from consistently just above 150 to 140 in about 5 months.  And at that time it was easy.  I don't know why.  I just made good choices, but didn't give up my wine or my Sunday morning (after long run) donut.  I ran 5 days a week, followed a plan, and ate well, and the weight fell off.  I didn't really even notice it, yes, I weighed myself, but I wasn't actively working on losing, I was actively working on running really long distances.  

In 2017 I decided to run another marathon (well, the same one, just another time).  And I will admit, a lot of my reasoning to run it was wanting to lose the same weight I had in 2015.  (If you've been reading that long, you know I sprained my ankle in the spring of 2016 on my first training run for a marathon and regained 10 lbs, back to 150)  I did not see the same results in that training period.  I don't think I was as committed, and I wasn't as diligent with my food.  I've talked about it before, but one of the reasons I was so diligent in 2015 is that I had heard people who train for marathons often gain weight and I was determined to not do that. Plus, I started having hip problems and took a month or so off of running in the middle of marathon training to hope it healed (it didn't, turns out I have arthritis in one hip).  2017 was also the year I decided to run 4 half marathons and 1 full marathon, so I was running a lot that year and ended the year at 152 (2015 I ended at 142).  

I've never gotten back to the magical number of 140 (an even magical number is 135, but that is a unicorn dream).  And in 2020 I consistently stayed at 155 or above.  

I'm going to Hawaii in June, I don't want to be 160.  So I decided I needed to crack down.  I have done pretty good.  Last week was awful, so we won't talk about that.  My goal for my weigh in on Friday is to be under 156, that would mean I have consistently lost weight since January 1 (we're not talking about last week).  I decided (last week ironically) to put up some pictures in my house to remind me of what I want to look like and why.  I did this in college, the summer after my freshman year (with the freshman 15 . . .20 . . .25??) I cut out pictures from a Victoria Secret magazine and taped them all over my parent's kitchen (my dad probably had a heart attack, I know my uncle noticed them when he was over one evening).  Back then it worked. . . But I don't want Victoria Secret pictures all over my kitchen now, so I did this . . .

On all the places I need reminding (fridge, cupboard, wine rack).  It may be hard to see but all the pictures of me with blonde short hair is from 2011 after I had my son, and the other's are from (can you guess??) 2015 (except the magnet on the fridge from Hawaii).

It's hard to get back into good habits.  It's a mindset that I need to work on.  Today I feel good.  I feel good about my choices yesterday and so far today.  I just need to carry this on for another 3 months.  Make good choices!

Hectic life

You think your life will be hectic if you're 42 with a family and a full-time job and you decide to go to school? Well, add a second job (that doesn't get paid), that will make you question all the decisions you made in the last 2 years.  I am seriously working a lot, which is sooooooo much different than my last 6 years.  My current job is so easy, I don't do a ton and I've been doing it so long that I could do it in my sleep.  My new job is not easy, and there is so much to it.

I am continuing to run everyday, but since my last post, I haven't run and more in a week than I was.  I haven't had time (well, before dark I haven't had time)  My last run longer than a mile was Monday (it's Friday).  I won't even hit 15 miles this week.  I am working out with my sister, not everyday, but most days.  I'm actually enjoying that more than my runs right now, which I never thought I'd say.  Will I quit running? No.  At least not anytime soon.

I've been trying to eat better to lose weight, and even though it's tiny steps, I am consistently going in the right direction.  Since January 1st all my recorded weighins (personally recorded, not publicly) have gone down a little.  This week was only 0.2, but it was lower than last week.  That means that at this moment I am a little over 3 lbs lighter than I was on January 1st, and that makes me happy.  Even though the lose is slow, it's not up and down, which has been normal lately.  

I'm a little worried about saying anything about that because I don't want to jinx it, but really wanted to share.

This was after we worked out and took down Christmas decorations at my dad's a few weeks ago. If your feet hurt after working out or  being on them all day, I highly recommend doing this. It works wonders.

Habits

I started this post a week ago (maybe longer) and forgot I didn't finish it.  

I have become quite reluctant to run outside this winter.  I run when it's sunny and beautiful, but if it's raining, or late, I say screw it and do one mile on my treadmill.  This has meant that my mileage continues to be low, because I'm not running outside and I hate running on the treadmill.  

Western Washington isn't necessarily cold.  I don't remember it ever being single digits, but it does rain a lot.  I don't care for western WA rain, it's drizzly and is like running through a cloud.  I am trying to run outside, but I've gotten so used to just running one mile on my treadmill that it has become my go-to.  I remember, just five short months ago, when I complained about the treadmill and hated that I was only running one mile.

I know it's just habit.  It has been a habit to run everyday for over 2 years, and at first that meant I was running outside.  Then I hurt my ankle and it became habit to run on the treadmill.  I just need to make it a habit going outside again.  

I love the idea of running a lot of miles.  I can see parts of my 20+ long run route when I drive to work (which is only once a week currently) and I always think of how much I loved those miles . . . back in 2015.  Now, the idea of running 5 miles seems so daunting.  Plus, I don't even know if my body can handle 20+ miles anymore.  Getting older certainly does a number on your body.  

Not only am I running every day (most days inside on the treadmill), but I am also doing weight exercises that I did with my trainer in November and December, and I started "yoga" (I think it's more like pilates).  I follow beachyogagirl on instagram and suddenly ads for her yoga program started popping up on Facebook.  I decided to join her "thing" and have been doing her Metabolic Workout almost daily.  I have only been doing that a week and see no benefit.  I have seen, or maybe felt is a better word, a difference with the weight exercises I've been doing for 3 months now.  My weights are a little heavier, I can balance on one leg a lot better (she did a lot of balance things with me because I wasn't good with them).  I've had comments on my backside being nicer, so I know if I stick with something it works, even if I don't see an immediate difference.  (I am definitely a child of wanting instant results.)  

I've even gotten my sisters working out with me.  I told one of my sisters (Nancy, the one I'm very close to) that I needed someone to hold me accountable, so I asked her if she would be interested in joining me for the weight exercises a couple times a week.  She agreed, so we were doing them 2 or 3 times a week together.  Then I decided I wanted to try the yoga thing, so she's been doing that everyday I have.  We do it on Zoom, I share my screen and then we follow together.  It makes it more fun and I feel like I "have" to do it now.  Then, we decided to ask our younger sister, Tami, if she wanted to join us (not for the yoga, she wouldn't be able to do that).  She's only been able to join us on Saturdays, but it's been fun, and it gets our very sedentary sister doing something, even if it's only once a week.

I don't know where I'll end up this year, but I hope to be in a better place than I started.  Plus, going to Hawaii in June is a good motivation to do better.

Oh, I didn't tell you I was going to Hawaii in June?  Well, we've been planning on going for 2 years, and we just bought our tickets last week.  Here's hoping COVID has lessened a little and we are able to go.  😊 I can't wait!