Doing better

 I'm sorry for my last post.  I should have not posted at all.  I got on to post about my 2020 yearly stats and I was just having a bad morning.  I had been really stressing out about my school internship.  It started last Monday, which was stressing me out because I have to decrease my work hours for the job I get paid to do, which I can't really afford, and also do another job that is unpaid.   Plus, the day I posted last I found out all the paperwork needed to start my internship wasn't completed, so I thought I wouldn't be able to start on time.  It all got done, very last minute.  Like down to the wire, it had to be done by 2:30 my time, and it was done at 1 or something.

Last week was a lot of training for my internship, every day I had something, and I think it's going to continue through this week, but thankfully it will slow down and I'll actually start doing the work.  I go back and forth on what I'm actually doing.  I have never wanted to be a counselor, but yet, that is the master's degree I am getting.  I don't think I will be very good.  I have no idea how I will be responsible for helping people with their emotional life.  I used to work as a case manager for mental health court, and I worked very closely with a therapist.  I used to tell my clients that my coworker helped them with their the insides (emotions), and I helped them with their outsides (appts, etc.).  I really enjoyed that set up, but now I'm going to be responsible for their insides and that terrifies me.  I have always thought, though, that if I was going to be a counselor, I wanted to be one for kids, so here I am, training to be a counselor to really intense teenagers, and I'm terrified.  

In regards to my desk, I am actually liking it.  It gives me a place to have all my stuff rather than strewn around the living room, which is really not good, especially since my job is protected by HIPAA laws (confidentiality).  I did have to adapt my chair, and it's not uncomfortable.  My back bothers me some, but like I said in my last post, I can stand, although it's a little low, but not too bad.  I actually broke down and bought a standing desk chair.  One that will adjust high enough for a standing desk.  I haven't gotten it yet, but I'm looking forward to it.  I won't have to adjust the millions of cushions I have to sit on to make it high enough.  

I have been thinking of not doing an end of year post, but I REALLY like looking at them every year, so I need to just do it.  I've been super busy with my work (two jobs 😲).  I guess I should work on it now rather than write this "fluff" post.  

Last week I actually wore clothes that weren't sweatpants, did my hair and makeup.  Even wore my "fancy" boots.  When I took this picture I felt pretty, which is nice because most of the time lately I feel slovenly.  I should do my hair and makeup more often.