Instagram mostly

Before I went to Hawaii, starting in January, I became very focused and was very good at keeping my calories in check.  This is the first time that I've counted actual calories, not just inputted (into myfitnesspal) what I wanted and ignored things that weren't good and stayed at or below my suggested calorie range.  And you know what? it worked!  I lost weight.  Don't get me wrong, I have lost weight in the past, I lost 30 lbs in 5(ish) years, but I was never good at actually counting my calories even though I said I was.  Afterall, I was good, I'll have a *ahem* 3rd (okay, 4th) glass of wine, but will only count 2 . . . yeah, my body knows that I had 4, I'm not fooling it.  And I did actually lose weight, mainly because I was eating better and less than I was 7 years ago (from now).  Then I lost quite a lot of weight while I was marathon training 4 years ago.  You know why? (and it took me quite a while to figure this out), I was eating less, not running more (well, I was running more, but mostly because I was eating less).  I went into marathon training after reading that people often gain weight when training for a marathon and determined I wasn't going to do that.  I started eating healthier and less foods, and I was conscious of my alcohol intake because I knew I had to run in the morning (on the weekend).  I did give myself treats.  If you followed me back then, especially on instagram, I almost always had a donut and mimosa on Sunday after my long run.

I also ate a lot of popcorn for dinner and drank wine.

The difference is I ate less back then (and I ran a lot), but I lost weight (surprise!).  It is pretty obvious that the eating is what caused me to loss weight (why am I the last to realize this?), not the running.  2 years ago when I was training for a marathon, and even last year, although I didn't run one, I didn't lose weight at all.  And this past November I started a run streak, and I didn't lose weight, I lost weight when I started eating less.

However, since I got back from Hawaii I've struggled with this.  I don't have a goal in mind, I am not losing weight to look good in a bikini in Hawaii.  Yes, I want to look good in my bikini this summer, but somehow it's not the same.  I need to be better.

Anyway, I will say, I do like the way I look, most of the time.  Today, I put on my clothes and thought, wow I look skinny.  It won't last long, but I do like that feeling of looking good.  =)

I was scrolling through my instagram feed looking for those pictures above and realized that my feed has become a lot of a picture with me running and my running stats.  I used to post a lot more selfies, and wine glass pictures.  I quit posting the selfies because I started thinking that maybe I looked narcissistic, but I kinda miss those posts.  I also used to post pictures of my wine glass in the bath and my food, or my feet in the grass on a picnic (by myself), popcorn and wine, me and wine, or me and coffee . . . I kinda miss those posts.  So, if you follow me on instagram, which I don't think anyone here does, I think I'm going to change my posts back to what they used to be, along with the running and stats photos.  =)

Oh, and look at this hair!  I want to go back to this! (But with my current color).  =)