Weight stuff and a couple bike rides

I vowed a little over a year ago to quit talking about my weight so much, and I succeeded in that for about a year.  I quit talking about it, and while I didn't like the numbers I was seeing on the scale, I didn't obsess over it too much either.  I'm healthy, I'm (mostly) happy with my body and I am still enjoying life, which means food and wine and running.  And then my sister and her husband invited us to go to Hawaii at the end of February with them.  No big deal, we spend time together in our swim suits all the time, but then she had to go and lose 20 or 30 lbs, which made me feel like the "fat" sister (I know I'm not fat) but it also made me want to lose the 10 or so lbs I've gained in the last 2 years.

Okay, so then I half-assed it all through October, November, and December, but decided to buckle down for January.  Now I know that January is not over.  I still have 4 days (counting today) but I've become a little more obsessed with my weight again.  So I think you're going to have to stick with me for a few more weeks while I work on this for my Hawaii trip. . .

So you know that at the beginning of January I read about "carb cycling" but didn't want to commit to quite that, so I started "calorie cycling."  I stay under my allotted daily calories (for me, right now, it's 1360).  My goal is to stay under that Monday-Thursday and allow myself higher calorie days on Friday-Sunday (and I usually go way up on Saturday, which I should stop doing). 

The first week of doing this I lost 2 lbs (this was the week of New Year's Eve and was still above my average pre-holiday weight),  the second week I lost 3.8 lbs (and was under my pre-holiday weight by 1.8 lbs), the third week I was on my period and gained 1 lb (but was still under my pre-holiday weight), so last week . .  I really didn't know what to expect.  I was still quite worried that this whole thing was pointless and silly.  I've been weighing myself on Wednesday unofficially just to kinda see what's going on. 

Last week my Wednesday weight was one lb less than my official Friday before weight, so I decided to see where I was on Thursday, and I was down another lb, and I thought, this is a fluke, tomorrow I'm going to be up again.  My official Friday weight was 3.2 lbs down from the Friday before, exactly 150.  That makes from January 4th to January 25th 7 lbs down, and about 4 lbs under my pre-holiday weight.  I still don't trust that this is actually working and will continue to work.  This coming Friday is my official "official" weight in (I started only recording my weight on the first of the month a couple years ago) so we shall see.  Even though I'm continuing to do what I have been, I fully expect to be back up to the 154 range, which is where I've been hovering (give [but not really take] a couple lbs).  145 was where I was super happy a few years ago, even though I'd love to be closer to 140, but that won't happen in the 4 weeks I have before Hawaii.

So what do I feel I need to do?  Well, I really feel like I need to tighten my eating up on the weekend.  Seriously, it's not great.  I know I've given myself a "hallpass" Friday-Sunday, but I don't think that's sustainable.  Last Friday after my fantastic weigh in I ate 1824 calories, Saturday I ate 1783 calories (with a 3 mile run) and yesterday . . . 1901 (with a 7 mile run).  I will eat well this week and see where I'm at on Friday.  Like I said, I still don't trust this process at all.

So, that was too much about my weight and eating.  I know this post is probably long enough, but I wanted to take a minute to talk about my running this weekend.

Saturday was such a nice day, so I took Maddox out for a 3 mile bike ride.  We went to a local park, him on his bike and me running, where I let him play for a half hour or so and then we went home. 

I accidentally hit end on my app at the park, so had to record two runs.  Running with Maddox is definitely slower than running on my own, which kinda frustrates me, but we do have a good time.

Sunday I didn't get out for a run until late, and by the time I was home and ready I didn't feel like running anymore. I was still going to go, but figured it would be only 5 miles or so.  Maddox had told me that he wanted to "run" again and I said okay, I told him we weren't going to stop at the park today but he could still go with me.  I figured I'd take him for 3 miles, drop him off at home and do my 5 mile loop.  He still wanted to go, so we took off, we did the same run as Saturday, but when it was time to turn up to go to the house, he wanted to keep going, so we went another 2 miles.  I figured I could do 5 with him and then do my 3 mile loop, well, when I was dropping him off at home he got really upset and said he thought he was going to run with me.  I told him we did 5 miles and that's great, but he still wanted to go.  So we left his bike at home and we went for another 1 mile loop.  That kid, while he has great energy, he also doesn't run very economically.  Plus, this loop had some long, gradual uphills and he had just ridden his bike 5 miles.  I was so exasperated by him by the end of the mile that I told him to run home and I was going to run on my own for a little bit.  I ended up only doing another mile because it was getting dark and cold, and I kinda wished I had gone home with him.  But I did it.  

So not quite 8 miles, but still a decent run.  My legs and feet were very tired after this run, so definitely not in marathon shape.  =)  

For part of mile 5 I rode Maddox's bike because there was a gradual uphill and he was tired.  That kid had his bike on the highest gear, I could barely get it up the hill, while standing on the pedals.  I gave him the bike back and lowered the gears, he said "wow, this is so easy!"  =D  But it still made for a slow last mile (well, last bike mile).  Obviously our slowest mile was the one he ran in mile 6.  

Just some ramblings

This weekend I went to my Dad's house to take down his Christmas decorations.  My sisters were there as well, all except my sister in N. Carolina.  I think it took less time to take stuff down than it took to put it up, but I was worried it would be the opposite.  My Mom was an excellent packer, and all of her stuff was in totes that were packed to the top, but able to put lids on.  I was worried we would be unable to do that again, but we did it.  I do think we used an extra tote, but that was because my sister couldn't remember which tote her original Nativity (the one we all want) was in, so we found an empty tote and put it in that.  

Anyway, it went well.  I came back yesterday because I had to work today, first job I've ever had (outside of the 24hr kids facility I worked in) that I've had to work on MLK Jr day and President's day (in February).  It sucks to go from January 1st to the end of May without a paid holiday.  

So, I'm sure you are all dying to hear what my high/low calorie days have done for the second week weight-wise.  (I know no one cares.)  Last Wednesday I was at a maintain weight, but Friday is my "official" weigh-in, and I had gained a pound.  I did not weird or unusual from Wednesday to Friday, so I'm calling it the "girl gain" and hope it's I lose 1+ lbs this week.

When I was first losing weight 5+ years ago, I didn't notice a significant gain during that time of the month.  In fact, I might even have posted about it . . . 

*hold music

Thanks for waiting.

Yep, I did The significant thing I have consistently seen throughout this time of weighing myself regularly is that I lose weight the week before my period and then "regain" it during my period.  The last year or so I have noticed that while the week before's weight is still lower, I'm actually gaining the week of.  I never really believed that if you were faithful, ate well, and exercised that you would gain weight during that time of the month.  I know in my post from 2013 I was very diplomatic and said that this was my experience and others probably have different ones, but I still was very skeptical.  Well, I can say that after a year of seeing the weight fluctuate during that time of the month, it has made me more of a believer.  

When you're talking about losing lots of weight in a week, I can see how you don't notice it (however, in 2013 I wasn't losing a lot of weight weekly.  I was 6 years younger though, and maybe that's the difference?  

I also hate saying that age is the reason I'm not losing weight.  I feel like it's a cop out, but really, the year I turned 40 (2016) was the year my weight started creeping back up (I also sprained my ankle and quit running a lot for many months).  

So back to the high/low calorie days.  I'm not as in love with it as I was the first week I started.  Maybe the novelty has worn off, maybe it's seeing a gain on the scale on Friday . . . but I'm back to wishing I could have a coffee today (and a glass or two of wine).  I really, really want a donut, but it's a low cal day.  And even on a high cal day, I'm not sure donuts are a good idea.  Maybe on Sunday I'll do a long run and get a donut.  =) 

This week's long run was "only" 5 miles.  I drove back from e. Washington and by the time I got home it was after 3pm.  The sun set while I was on my run, so at least I got it done before dark.  

I've been listening to a true crime podcast, True Crime Garage, which I found completely by accident.  I've been bingeing old episodes, I started from the beginning which was 2016 and I'm just now in the middle of 2018.  Anyway, it definitely is not something I can listen to while I run in the dark, and even freaks me out a little during the day.  A few weeks ago on my long run I had a creepy feeling throughout my entire run.  I started running on a trail that I run on weekly, and is perfectly safe in the daylight (I wouldn't run on it after dark though) and I had to stop and call Damian to tell him where I was.  I told him that I thought it was just because of the true crime podcast I've been listening too, but I was creeped out and wanted him to know where I was and that I'd be home in less than a half hour.  I was fine, nothing happened and I made it home in under 20 min.

Yesterday I had another thing happen (in my own head) because of the true crime podcast.  I was running down a road I only run down when I am going to be a tenth of a mile short on my run (it's a dead end street that's about a block long, I run down it and then back to the main road).  Anyway, I was running past this house and I heard a bunch of kids in a backyard, I looked over and it was a fenced yard, with a gate on the side into the yard and the gate was open just enough to see several girls jumping on a trampoline.  I thought it would be so easy to get into the backyard and take one of the girls and thought about knocking on the door to tell the parents, but knew that it was just my true crime full brain coming up with scenarios.  And I had no idea if there was a parent in the backyard with them or not and the parents would think I was a sicko for thinking that.  So I kept running.

I don't have a picture for this post, so I'll leave you with Maddox, in his shark tent watching a movie with a nightlight thing on in my entryway.  =)  Oh and don't forget the Zombie nerf gun.  =D

Spoiled brat

I know I already posted this week, but I wanted to add something to my previous post but ran out of time.  About 2 weeks ago my dad called me to let me know that he received some money . . . I'll back up.

My dad is a retired wheat farmer.  His siblings and him still own the farm, but they lease the farm land out to another farmer (it's a long story, but since my dad and uncle are older and there's no one in my generation to take over this was their option).  So because they still own the farm, they still get wheat money, anyway, my dad said that he got his wheat money a few weeks ago and he decided to take his kids and their families on a cruise to Alaska in August.  So I guess we are doing that on my Mom's birthday.  =)

Okay, so this is the only place I will admit this (because no one from my family reads this), but I'm conflicted about this.  I'm definitely excited to go to Alaska on a cruise, that's not the issue.  What I'm conflicted about is that this is happening in August.  We usually go to my families lake house in August and we will be unable to do that this year. 

I mean . . . how could you NOT love those views??

I know, I know, the Lake isn't anything like an Alaskan cruise, but I love the sun and quietness of going to the Lake.  I look forward to it every year.  I will not have enough time off to take 2 weeks of vacation in August, not with the 8 days of vacation I'm taking to go to Hawaii.

And the other thing that has me conflicted about this cruise is that I will be in high mileage month for marathon training.  August is usually the month that things really start ramping up.  My first marathon my runs were 13 miles, 10 miles, 15 miles and 16 miles in the  month of August. 

So what are my options?  Well, I was thinking that we could go to the Lake over Labor Day weekend.  If we flew, it would be a 1 hour flight (compared to a 6+ hour drive) and we'd avoid all the traffic.  We could take one extra day off and be there from Friday morning to Monday evening.  I currently have a mileage credit card, so if I put everything I possibly can on the credit card, I could maybe get enough points for 3 flights to Spokane (eastern WA).  I could take things to my Dad's house before going to the Lake (like floats and my paddleboard) and hope that my Dad will let us borrow a car for the weekend . . . or I could just invite him to go with us.

Now, marathon training on a cruise, I'm sure they have a gym, and I've heard that these cruise ships have a track around the ship.  Can you imagine running around a ship for 10 miles??  That just seems ridiculously tedious.  Plus, dodging walkers . . . but that is probably my only option.

So, quit whining about "having" to go on an Alaskan cruise and be super thankful that my Dad is paying for us (15 people total) to go. 

I'm feeling very spoiled, Hawaii in February (39 days, 10 ours and 28 min, but who's counting?) and an Alaskan cruise in August.

Garage woes

After  really good week of eating well and keeping to high and low calorie days, and a nice weight loss (down 5 lbs from the previous Friday, 2 lbs down from my pre-holiday weight), I went a little crazy on Friday.  I went way over my calorie intake, I stayed pretty close to myfitnesspal's recommended calories on Saturday (1350 out of 1360) and on Sunday was high again with a 7 mile run.  It doesn't really feel like a winning weekend, so I guess I will see how that affects my Friday weigh in.

I am having a hard time today controlling my thoughts around food and wine.  I've been good, I haven't indulged in anything, but I definitely would like to grab a coffee (not going to) and would like a glass of wine (I drank the last of my wine Sunday night) this evening.  Chris said he was planning on making Cream of Potato soup Sunday, which I was looking forward to, but we had a busy day so he didn't make it.  So he made it last night, but it was a low calorie day, so broccoli, brussel sprouts and mushrooms it was.   =(

I was pretty active over the weekend, oh, I didn't do anything fun, but I did clean out my garage.  I meant to take a before picture and forgot, but it was a mess.  It's still pretty full, but with 2 loads of stuff gone (one to Goodwill and one to the dump) it's emptier than it was.  I can't even say I organized it, unfortunately.

Goodwill run

Some of the stuff I sent to Goodwill I've had in my garage since the last time we moved, close to 4 years ago.  That white cabinet in the picture above was part of a hutch that I got 20 years ago (I still have the bottom of the hutch, it's full of stuff I should toss as well).

The problem that I had with actually organizing my garage was this:  I started the project on Saturday when Chris and Damian were both working.  I was doing it on my own and took half the stuff out of the garage, organized it (a little) and then put it back in, with the intent of taking stuff out to get to the back of the garage to organize the next day and then put it all back in nicely.  Well, on Sunday when Chris and Damian helped me, they didn't want to take everything out, they just took things out of the back of the garage that were going to be given away or tossed, and everything else stayed.  Nothing got organized like I wanted, and it all just stayed in the (cleaner) mess I had done on Saturday.  I'm thinking that to get it how I want it to be, I will have to work on it again alone.  ; )  It is better, the paths to places are wider, so that's a win, right?

I ran 7 miles on Sunday.  I wanted to run earlier in the day, but we went grocery shopping and came home at lunch time.  I ate and couldn't run right after, so started working in the garage.  I finally ran about 2pm and didn't really feel like it anymore.  I got 7 miles done, but was kinda done with it before I even started. 

Anyway, today is another low calorie day.  So I guess I'll have to think of what to eat for dinner that doesn't totally wipe out my calories and isn't the same as yesterday.

So far so good. . .

It's officially week 2 of 2019 and nothing terrible has happened.  (We won't go into politics, have I mentioned my sister is a federal employee and is currently furloughed?  She is looking forward to going back to work.)  I have kept up my run streak, in fact, it's so commonplace right now that I forget about it, but I still go home and run every day.  I'm on day 70 (I haven't run today, but I will).  I do have thoughts of a mile a day is kinda silly, to make it really count I should do more, but that isn't good for a person's body, I think.  People need rest days.  I know there's a whole other runstreak group that does 3.1 miles every day, but I don't see that happening.  It's one thing to get up at 430am to run for a little under 10 min, and another to get up at 430am to run for almost a half hour, not to mention the shower that then has to happen . . . and wet hair  . . . yeah, I don't think I'm willing to do that.  (I don't run in the morning usually, but when I know I have something going on in the evening that is going to make it difficult to run, or I would be running really late, I will get up and do 10 min on the treadmil, I am not a morning exercise person.)

I have also started to weigh myself unofficially on Wednesdays.  I did start this before Christmas and stopped for the two weeks during the holidays but restarted today.  I am happy to say that I have lost all the weight that I gained over the holidays.  Now if I can just get it to keep going down.

I am trying a new thing with my diet.  I don't think this will be a long-term thing, but we'll see how it goes.  Number one I've cut way back on my wine (and alcohol) intake.  But the biggest thing is that I am trying out low calorie days and high calorie days.  I was reading a little about carb cycling, which is the same idea, high protein most of the time and high carbs on days that you are working out harder.  Well, I don't want to pay someone to figure out my macros, and I'm kinda lazy, so I decided to go with high calorie and low calorie days, while eating healthy on all days (except on this last Saturday I gave myself a pass to eat whatever).  I don't know if this is why I lost 3 lbs in 4 days, or it's just my body going back to "normal," but I'm going to continue for a little while and see how it goes. 

The carb cycling idea is that you eat carbs on higher calorie days that you are expending more energy.  Well, I do my long run on Sundays, but used my (really) high calorie day on Saturday.  I didn't feel any affects of not eating a lot on Sunday, in fact my run felt great, so I think I'm going to continue with that.  I'm kinda going every other day with this kind of eating, and when I mean high calorie day, I don't mean I'm going hog wild (except for this last Saturday).  Monday was supposed to be a higher calorie day but I ended up eating around 1100 calories (myfitnesspal gives me 1360 per day) and yesterday was a low calorie day and I ate around the same.  However, last Friday I ate 1700 calories and last Thursday I ate 1090 calories.  With the exception of Saturday (2355 calories) I am trying to keep my higher calorie days in the range myfitness pal gives me, although Sunday was a lower calorie day and I ate 1325 calories, but I also ran 8 miles. 

Looking at the actual numbers I'm not fluctuating much in my calorie intake, but I think that is okay.  I think if I give myself permission to be less good one day, I'm more likely to be good other days.  Today I've given myself permission to be less good, but I had also given myself permission to be less good on Monday and I nailed that day.  It's just the thing I'm telling myself, today is a low calorie day, so I tend to make good choices.  Last night Damian took my family out for taco Tuesday, but I didn't go because I needed to run and it was a low calorie day.  I ran and then went home and sauteed broccoli, mushrooms, zucchini, and brussel sprouts (I used too much oil though and it wasn't as good as usual), but I didn't go to bed hungry, I was fine. 

not my food, Damian's food

So last week I didn't run much.  I didn't feel very good and I went home every night, ran a mile and went to bed.  I was feeling much better on Saturday so I decided to try intervals on the treadmill.  I used my watch as the judge of the distance, so I'm not sure how accurate it was.  I know when I just run on the treadmill it tends to judge less distance than the treadmill, but it seemed to be faster Saturday, but I wasn't paying attention.

I did 5 intervals for 0.25 miles with a 1:30 min break between each.  I walked for part of all the breaks, but did stop completely for part of all the breaks as well.  I set the treadmill at . . . I think 7.2 for the first interval and increased it each time.  I have been running my one miles at about 7 on the treadmill, so I thought 7.2 was a good starting place.  However, on Monday I ran my one mile at a 8, so I'm thinking I need to increase intervals to at least that.  7.2 is 8:20 min per mile, 8 is a 7:30 min/mile.  I was a little worried about how far I had run, I wasn't keeping track of distance on Saturday, so I decided to run a mile after my intervals just to be sure I had the streak going. 5 x 0.25 is 1.25, but trying to do math with a tired brain is hard.  =)

Sunday I ran 8 miles.  I left home with no exact mileage in my head, more than 5, less than 8, but I felt good, added a hill and ended up with 8 miles.  It was nice.  It was my longest run since I officially quit marathon training.  My last long run for marathon training was 15 miles on August 26th.  Since then my longest runs have been in the 7 mile range. 

I like this picture, but it doesn't show all of my new leggings, so this is the picture I posted on Instagram.

2019 plans

*In my last post I completely forgot to add that I did a half marathon in August on my Mom's birthday, so I added that part and a picture.

My last post really was depressing but I do have a few plans for this year.  Not a lot, because I tend to do things as they come rather than plan for things.  Often when I plan stuff it doesn't happen, so I've learned, when it comes to running, don't plan ahead.  ; )

I am currently still doing my run streak.  I started on November 1st with the intent of going through December.  But after 61 days, I didn't really want to end it.  One mile on days that I don't run a normal run is so easy, it's silly to quit.  So now I'm on day 65. However, the last few days have been hard to stay motivated to do a run streak because I've been sick.  I woke up on Jan. 1st with a sore throat and it's been getting worse with an added headache. I've been doing the bare minimum while sick, just one mile on the treadmill but I guess I'm not ready to give it up yet. I'm not sure how long I'll keep at it.  Right now I'm thinking until I go to Hawaii, which is February 26th.

Oh, did I mention we are going to Hawaii?  =)  We are going February 26 through March 7th.  We are going with my sister and her husband, and we are not taking kids.  I will tell you though, the closer it gets the more concerned I am about leaving Maddox and Damian alone, not to mention the guilt I feel about it.  Our original plan was to come home on March 5th, because that was the ticket deal my sister found for us (very cheap tickets), but March 5th is the year anniversary of my Mom's death, and I didn't want to be flying that day.  I was able to change our tickets to March 7th with my mileage points from my credit card, so it was basically free to me.

I am also doing a Ragnar in 2019.  I've already signed up with a coworker, so I am excited/nervous about that.  This is going to happen July 12-13, and I'd like to run the Tri-Cities Marathon again, actually attempting an under 4 hr marathon.  I feel like Ragnar training will be very good for marathon training, so we shall see.  Interestingly enough, yesterday I was asked if I wanted to do it by someone at the courthouse (where I have a cubicle for work).

Weight . . . weight is always an issue for me.  And it has been a constant thorn in my side since I sprained my ankle in 2016 and gained weight.  I still have not gotten rid of it, and I actually have steadily been going up.  I'm not going to bore you with details, or even promises of weight loss.  I started 2018 at 153 and ended at 154 (well, if you count Christmas weight, really ended it at 159, but who's counting that?).   Today's weight (which I'm counting as my official January weight) was 157.4, which I think is completely unfair.  I was really, really good the last . . . ahem . . . 3 days, so obviously it should be more than an almost 2 lb loss.  =/ 

*side note*  I've been keeping track of my weight on my mirror for the last 3 months or so, but I started at the bottom of the mirror and put my weight above the week before.  I was noticing the other day that it looks like I started at the top and have been losing weight, sadly it's opposite.

So really, those are my "goals," plans, ideas for 2019.


Thankfully it's January 4th and I haven't sprained an ankle yet (knock on wood).

2018 . . . what a sh** show

I usually do a wrap up post for the previous year, but this year I don't feel that there is anything to "wrap up."  I didn't follow through with anything.  My goals for 2018 were to be a better me, this included hiking, yoga, and losing weight.  I also wanted to PR my half and full marathons.  I started making smaller monthly goals that coincided with my overall yearly goals.

And then March 5th happened.  That was the day I lost my Mom.

And everything went to shit.

I quit caring about all my goals, I feel like this year was the year of just getting by.  One step at a time.  I started marathon training, but between visiting my Dad so much, vacations, my uncle dying, my grandfather-in-law dying, training just didn't happen the way it needed to.  I didn't want to limp through another marathon like I did in 2017 so I quit training.

In 2018 I found out that my "knee issue" and my "hip issue" that I had at the end of 2017 was actually arthritis in my left hip.  I was, at first, pretty bummed about that news, but actually feel better knowing what the issue is rather than worrying that it is something worse.

I also started grad school in 2018, and so far have passed all my classes with an A.  And I bought a car.

I ran one 5K in March, which was a last minute decision while we were in Ocean Shores remembering my Mom.  I ran the Tulip Run in April and was 2nd in my age group (but I think there were 3 of us) even though it was my slowest Tulip Run yet.  I walked Bloomsday again with my sister in May.  And we did the Insane Inflatable with my family at the beginning of June.    I hiked 2 times with Damian, once with Maddox, and two times with my sister.

I also ran the Bridge of the Gods half marathon on my Mom's birthday.  This was another spur of the moment race that I wasn't completely ready for (a lot hillier than I knew), but it was a good weekend with my Dad in Oregon.



I was terrible at race recaps this year.  I think all of those links in the previous paragraph are titled something like "The last 3 weeks" or "It's been awhile" and the race recaps are a small portion of a month's worth of things.  I blogged the least amount this last year, and my mileage was down by 200 miles from 2017.

I finished the year with a 61 day run streak, and "only" 766 miles for the year.

When you type out your year in review it looks good on paper.  Yes, I didn't run as much, I didn't PR any races, I did more hiking than I've ever done, I did a run streak (am still doing it), I bought a car (which I still love) and I started grad school  All of that looks amazing, but when one major event happens, it changes the feel of everything.

At the end of 2017 I felt that it was a terrible year, but that was because of only a few months at the end (Chris's stroke).  However, my Mom's death has surpassed that tenfold and apathy really set in this year.  I just don't care.

Oh, and I did not lose any weight. I've been hovering above 155 for awhile now.  In fact, last Friday I was up to 159.  I will say that is likely because we had chinese food, pizza, fast food, and quite a bit of drinking for the holidays.  Not to mention the cheesecake and fudge that I made, plus the cookies I made and received from neighbors.