The day marathon training ended . . .

maybe . . .

Sunday I had scheduled 15 miles on my calendar.

Well, let me back up a little.

After a rocky start with marathon training in July between my family vacation and a conference taking up 2 weeks of the month I only ran 62 miles.  I decided in August I would do my best to make up for lost time and be as close to my training plan as I could be.  Which I mostly have succeeded at.  I've been about 3-5 miles behind my scheduled weekly mileage, but I was doing good.

I stayed on schedule for the Bridge of the Gods weekend.  But then the very next weekend happened and my family went camping, so I skipped 2 runs, including a long run of 15 miles.  And then my uncle died.  However, I came back from eastern WA on Saturday so was able to run 7 miles (I was supposed to do a pace run) and then 15 miles on Sunday.

My Saturday run started out okay. I ran uphill for the first couple miles and then was going downhill or flat. My first mile was 9.15 min/mile and the second one was 9.27 min/mile (my race pace is under 9.09 min/mile). The next 3 miles were under race pace, and I was excited because mapmyrun was telling me my average was under 9.09 min/mile. Then I made a decision that screwed my average.  I decided to go up a mile long hill.  I had calculated that if I stayed on the flat path I had planned, I would have more than 7 miles, and I didn't really want that, so instead of turning to avoid the hill, I ran straight up it.  And my last 2 miles were 9.49 and 10.49 min/miles.  Don't ask me why the last mile was 10.49, that was a slow upgrade with a half mile of gradual downgrade, and is usually my fastest.  I would guess I was just really tired from the fast pace in the middle of the run and the hill at the end.   My average pace ended up as a 9.24 min/mile which is a "good effort."

Because I was unable to run while camping (or just too lazy) I "had" to do 15 miles on Sunday in order to stay on any sort of marathon track.

After my half marathon 3 weeks ago, my left foot has been bothering me a little off and on with plantar faciitis pain.  My hip has been okay, but my foot has not.  Then the standing on the tall ships 2 weeks ago didn't help it, and I still planned to do 15 miles.

I don't know if it was the 7 miles the day before, or what, but as soon as I left my house I felt like turning around.  My left foot hurt and my right calf was tight.  I ran, but I really didn't want to.  I had looked on mapmyrun at August 2015 at a 15 mile run then to determine what route to take, and it was an easy one.  Uphill at the beginning but then after going down hill a little, flat for close to 13 miles, easy, right?

But no, my head was telling me how stupid this was.  I was thinking about the goals for this marathon, mainly that I want to be under 4 hours, and how that will never happen with my race pace runs not happening and my long runs feeling awful.  And I was thinking I can't.  I hurt. I want to quit.

So I stopped.  5 and a half miles in, full stop.  I called Damian.  After I told him I was tired and hurting, he says "what do you want me to do?"  And I said I just need someone to talk to me.  I think I was looking for him to say stop, come home.  He didn't, he said you'll regret it if you don't finish.  I told him the reasons why I wanted to run this marathon and that my goal will more than likely not happen.  He said so? you do it to prove that you still can.

I told him I was also doing it to be skinnier, I lost a bunch of weight in 2015 training the first time and I wanted to lose the weight I gained almost 2 years ago.  I said I know I'm not fat, I just want to be skinnier.  And he said, "Mom, you look great for your age." (Thanks Damian.) "I feel weird saying this outloud, but you look good, much better than other women your age.  You don't need to lose weight."

I told him that if I didn't do 15 miles today it meant that my marathon training was over.  There's no way I'd catch up with all the breaks I've had until now.  He said, go slow, finish it.  Decide tomorrow if you want to quit marathon training.  Train next year for your under 4 hour marathon, but finish this run.

I said okay, hung up, and walked.  Then started jogging slowly.  Then stopped again and text Damian.  "Nope. I'm done."  I turned around and started running again.  Immediately I felt lighter.  My foot didn't hurt as much, I didn't notice the tightness in my calf anymore.  So I text him again and said he didn't need to come pick me up, I'd run home.  I thought that from where I turned around I'd be about 10 miles total and I thought that'd be good enough, especially if I'm not running a marathon now.

Well, I got to mile 8 and realized I still had maybe 4 miles left of the run. And then I thought, why stop at 12?  What's 3 more miles?  I would have to run past my stopping point, but I've done that before, so I just kept running.  I was slow, but I was running.  My goals for my long runs are right around a 10 min/mile, but after mile 5 I never made it that fast again.  Other than mile 5 (which was a 12.32 min/mile) and mile 6 (which was 11.30 min/mile) I went to 10 and a half and progressively got slower for the rest of the run.

BUT I ran 15 miles.

Monday my entire left leg ached, from my arthritic hip to my plantar faciitis foot.  I was hobbling around like I broke my ankle or something.  But, marathon training may not be over. . . we shall see.

There are a couple lessons learned from this run . . . one, my son is amazing.  He simply is an awesome person and I'm so glad I can call him my son. 

Two . . . your head really does dictate what you can accomplish.  The entire first 5-6 miles my head was saying "I can't."  As soon as I turned around I felt better.  And then, at mile 8 when I decided to do 15 miles instead of 12, that got stuck in my head.  I began calculating how to get the 3 miles I had cut off in the middle done at the end, and my attitude went to "I can."  And I did.