Bracing myself

What a beautiful day it is today.  Unfortunately, I decided to take a rest day.  I don't want to.  I would love to be out there running in the cloudy sunshine (if you've ever lived in the Pacific Northwest you'll know what I'm talking about).  But my shins hurt.  I need new shoes, which I get tomorrow (yay!). I know rest days are important, but I just want to go running, especially on days like today. 

Saturday my sister and I are walking 5 miles in the Tulip Run.  I'm looking forward to it, but I don't know if I should count that as my "run," or if I should actually run later.  I guess I will decide what I'm going to do on Saturday, if it's super nice and I feel like running, I guess I will.

This morning I weighed myself, just to see where I'm at, so I'm not surprised by the gain weight on the scale.  I was at 170, which is a pound up from last week.  170 is the worst weight in the world.  I hate it.  Before I had got pregnant with Maddox, I was walking everyday, with short stints at running and I couldn't get the scale to budge much under 170.  I think I got down to 165, but was back up to 170 almost immediately.  After I had Maddox I went down to 167, but then was up to 177 a few months later. 

Needless to say, I really, really want to get past 170.  It has become my body's comfortable weight, but in reality it's about 30-40 lbs over what my "healthy" weight is.  It's so frustrating to see the scale stop on that number over and over.  I realize that getting healthy has less to do with what you weigh than how your clothes fit or just how you feel, but wouldn't it be nice for the scale, your clothes and how you feel all agree?

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