I identify as a runner.

 Last week I posted that I was going to start running 3 miles three times a week for the month of April.  I made it last week, I ran (can it be called running when a quarter of it is walking?), 3 times, 3miles.  It meant I had to run after getting home from eastern WA on Saturday, but it probably was a good thing because that's a long drive (4.5-5 hours depending on stops). 

I had plans to run on Sunday (I always run on Sunday) but the weather was soooooo nasty, so I didn't.  And then the weather was bad again on Monday, so I didn't. I planned to run on Tuesday, but I ended up going home with a temperature and a headache.  I felt terrible, I had the chills, but was also ridiculously hot, so I went straight to bed.  I woke up yesterday (Wednesday) and thought, I have to run today, I felt better in the morning, so was planning on running.  Oh, I forgot to mention that Tuesday and Wednesday were B-E-A-utiful days.  The sun was shining, no wind, gorgeous.  But then, about 2pm yesterday, same thing, headache, slight fever, so I went back home and to bed.  

That means if I plan to get 3 days in this week, I have to run today, tomorrow, and Saturday, no matter what the weather does. And of course, it's supposed to get rainy again.  This morning was cloudy with sunbreaks and I stayed home (working from home) so I decided I'd get the run done before it got gross outside again.  But now I have to run tomorrow and Saturday.  

I haven't been this out of shape in 11 years, basically since I started running.  In fact, until the last year or so, I could have done a half marathon with very little (or no) training for it.  I was always kinda in half marathon shape.  Now I walk a lot during my three mile runs.  

I think this lack of motivation stems a lot from my mindset since ending my runstreak.  I allowed my brain to start thinking "it's okay if I don't run."  For years I didn't have that mindset, and even before the runstreak I still had the days I "had" to run, they varied throughout time, but I always had them.  Now, I'm like, "don't want to run? don't!"  And I read a book where the author talked about strategic walking during runs, which made my brain say "you want to walk? you should walk" instead of the old way of thinking "walking is bad."  That and reading Kerri's blog on beachyogagirl.com she talked about keeping your heartrate in zone 2 for the most fat burn . . . well, zone 2 happens while walking not running.  Walking isn't bad, but I identify as a runner, not a walker.  I'm proud to be a runner, I like that identity and am not willing to give it up.

But! you know what identifies you as a runner?  Running!  Isn't that weird?  That means that if I want to continue to identify as a runner, I have to actually run.  So in the second week of April, I have to run thursday, Friday, and Saturday, no matter what.  

So here's to getting back in shape, even if I'm never back to "half marathon anytime" shape, I want to be in "I can run 3 miles without stopping" shape.

Saturday's run

Tomorrow is weigh-in day.  I didn't weigh in last week because I was in eastern WA.  I also didn't eat very well.  Well, I didn't eat a lot, but what I ate wasn't great.  Then with Easter this last Sunday, and all the candy (ahem, jelly beans), I think I will have a gain.  I hope it's not a two week gain, just a small one.  Keep your fingers crossed!!  I was really excited to get back to the 150s (that's so sad for me to say when I was in my 140s for so long), but I don't think I will this week.  

What I'm doing now

 In March I decided to record what I eat.  Once upon a time I tracked my calories on myfitnesspal, but I stopped (maybe around 2020) and now don't think it's as good with the recent "upgrades."  So I started handwriting what I eat with no calorie counting.  I started just writing it down, with no changes.  Then a week later I started making sure I was eating less.  Then March 10th I decided I needed to start recording my weight weekly, which I haven't done in years.  So, March 10th, I recorded my weight of 162 (which was exactly the same as the week before).  A week later, after doing really, really good with my food, I was 163.8.  I was so mad.  Two and a half weeks ago, I went down to 161.3 and last week I went to 160.  I'm pretty sure the blip in gain was period related (although I don't actually have a period now).  

It feels like my eating has gotten better, but my exercise has been terrible.  March was pretty much the lowest mileage I've had in probably 10 years with no injury, 39 miles, and that includes 13.5 miles of walking.  Yesterday I was reading Runs for Cookies (of course) from a post in January where she was recapping her 2022 goals.  One of her 2022 goals was to run 3 miles 3 times a week, and I thought, that's doable.  So, starting this month, I'm going to run 3 days a week for at least 3 miles. Because I decided this yesterday (Wednesday) and I went to e. WA right afterwards and have only run once so far this week (at that time) it means I have to run 2 times while in e. WA.  I "ran" today. I guess I should get rid of the quotes, but it seems so weird to walk while running.  

It's also kind of stupid why I ran today.  I forgot about my decision to run 3 times a week and was going to go for a walk today.  Well, right before leaving guys came to my sister's house to install gutters, and I thought that I'd look silly just going for a walk, so decided to run just for my image. But that is not a bad thing . . .

My next plan is to go through my food journal and look at the trends of what I'm eating.  I think that this week will be a bad week because I'm in e. WA and outside of my routine, plus I do tend to drink more on "vacation."  And I also found out today that my 15 year old niece is pregnant . . . so there's that.  

Maybe by making these small changes I'll have some success.  

P.S. I didn't run the half marathon last weekend.  I had actually decided to switch to the 10K and then didn't do that either.  I think this is my first DNS (did not start) which I've always heard is worse than a DNF (did not finish).