On Friday I was reading the post I had written on Thursday, and started clicking on posts at the bottom that Blogger "recommends." Because the post on Thursday was all about my weight, most of the recommended posts were also about my weight. I re-read posts about my blisters when I first started running and how I decided to "fix it" (spoiler alert: don't use duct tape). I read about my crazy (ex) neighbors.
The common theme running through my blogs from early on is my weight. I have always been obsessive about my weight. I read this post from September of 2013. And I really obsess about my weight. Maybe (probably) too much. I wasn't running, it was after my 2nd half marathon and I was dealing with my first round of plantar faciitis (who am I kidding, 1st, 2nd, they were all the same, I was just in denial).
I laughed when I read this post from March 2013 where I said "If it takes me another year to lose the rest of the weight I will be happy." And this "Afterall, a year ago I was seeing 169 on the scale. Who knows, maybe a year from now I'll be seeing 130. =)" (I weighed 153.8) I am still not there, over 2 years later, but I continue to go down. And I continue to be happy with me.
That same post talked about my very encouraging office mate (who I no longer work with). I was embarrassed to say I had only lost 20 lbs in a year, and then I wrote this "Why is it bad to lose only 20lbs in a year? Because we want instant results. We are a society that wants what it wants and wants it NOW." I am definitely not losing weight instantly. I am literally working my ass off, even if it's slowly.
I don't think I became less obsessive about my weight after writing that last post. I think I was still pretty obsessive, and can still be at times. But I feel like I'm finally accepting where I'm at. I'm not obsessive about weighing myself all the time. I used to weigh myself every morning, and often later in the day, almost always after a run. I can go days without thinking about it now.
I just realized that this post will make 2 in a row where I talk about weight, which isn't actually what I was thinking this post would be about.
I'd like it to be about accepting myself. I am extremely happy with where I'm at now. I just ran 26.2 miles. I feel great, and I think I look good. I still eat a donut regularly (even more now with my current job), and I still drink wine (often too much). I truly do feel happy with me.
This weekend I went for 2 runs. =) I decided I was going to run on Saturday and see how my foot felt. I was only going to do 3 miles, and just see. So I did. And it was fantastic. I ran a good pace, much better than my last slow 3 miles.
And my foot felt fine. It is not 100%, I did have some ache later in the afternoon, but the next morning it felt fine. So fine that I went for another run on Sunday. I find it odd that 2 weeks ago I ran 26.2 miles and yesterday my "long" run was 5 miles. But I enjoyed my run, even though it was "only" 5 miles. I decided to do my favorite fall running trail. I think the trail is so pretty in the fall, it goes through a wooded area, there are houses just on the other side of the trees, but you don't really see them for most of the trail. And the leaves are beautiful right now. I stopped to take a bunch of pictures.
Both my feet are a little achey with plantar faciitis ache, but the sharp pain I had the week after my marathon seems to be gone. I just need to remember to roll and ice my feet, and take it easy. I don't want to quit running completely, so I'm going to continue with short runs only a couple times a week for now and see how it goes.