Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Decisions

Where I grew up, the road to my parents house from my
Grandma's house (our nearest neighbor, 2 miles away)
I just don't feel like I have that much to say today.  I have some pictures from our trip to Mount St. Helens on Saturday of Damian and Maddox, but I can't get them off my phone and onto a computer.  It's bothering me.  I wanted them on Monday's post, but obviously they weren't.

Okay, so Monday evening I went for a 5 mile run.  Nothing exciting, just my normal 5 mile loop.  Yesterday I got home and decided not to run.  I told Chris I wasn't going to, but then I felt that twinge of "if I just go I'll love it," then I remembered my phone was close to dead and I didn't want to wait for it to charge.  So I didn't go.  Instead I made cupcakes for work for tomorrow.  Carrot cake cupcakes and red velvet cupcakes.   I ate too much batter.  (That is what kills me when baking, most of the time by the time the pastry goodness is done baking, I'm so sick from the stupid batter that I don't even want what I baked, although, last night I didn't go that far, but close.) Tonight I get to frost them.

And today's weight is 148 on the dot.  (of course)

5 miles today.  Still not that excited about it. 

I'm over being upset about my job.  And now I'm kinda ready to just be done with it.  My last job I got laid off as well (I was out of work 8 months and that sucked).  That one was because of budget cuts and they gave me 2 days notice (I think, it was very little notice).  The budget was over in June, but they didn't know they were going to let me go until the middle of July, so they pretty much had no money for me at all, so they told me to tell my clients and close my files, so I did, in about 2 days.  I kinda like that a lot better than this knowing for at least a month beforehand.  Let me tell my clients and close my files.  However, that is not the best way to handle things, especially in the mental health world. 
We are debating moving back to eastern WA.  Well, I am debating, Chris would move yesterday.  We both hate the weather here.  We both despise our house, it needs so much work and we have no money. We both would like to be closer to family.  But I think about Damian and all that he has going on here.  He's a freshman in high school.  He plays lots of sports and this year got really into robotics at school.  Not to mention friends and just the feeling of home that Mt. Vernon has for him (and me too).  I love this area, but am soooooo tired of the rain, and really, really hate our house. 

Come to think of it, some of the reason I want to move so badly is to get out of our house.  Maybe if we moved to another house in Mt. Vernon I would not feel like going to eastern WA so bad.

And then there is my sister, who is also my best friend.  She wants me to stay.  She told me the other day that she gets depressed when she thinks about me leaving.  And I understand.  She has also told me that if it was her, she'd move in a heartbeat.  And that I should do what's best for my family.  But I would miss her so much.  Right now we see each other at least once a month.  That would drop considerably if I moved to e. WA, maybe once every 3 or 4 months and that's generous.

I just don't know.  And really, everyone I talk to about it, has an opinion, and it's what they want, maybe not what is best for us.  If I wait till Damian has graduated, that is only 3 years from now.  And up until my job was questionable totally the plan in my head.  Now, I don't know.


1 comment:

  1. I'm sure you and Chris will make the right decision for your family. Damian will adjust should you decide to change. My parents moved when I was younger and I think in some ways it made me so much more well rounded. GOod luck with everything!!!

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