Wednesday, February 5, 2014

NEED

After I had Maddox I stopped taking my vitamins (Maddox is 2 and a half).  I don't know why, but for whatever reason, almost as soon as I gave birth, I started forgetting to take them.  I took them often enough to finish the prenatal vitamins, and bought my regular (cheap) brand, however, I then quit taking them.  Not on purpose, I just got out of the habit and even though I see them every morning (they are right next to my makeup) I forget to take them.  I have to take vitamins with food otherwise I get really nauseous, so because I do my makeup before I eat, I don't think about it once I leave the bathroom.

However, I believe that vitamins (this includes calcium and Vitamin D, - I live in western WA - fish oil, and a probiotic - because I get yeast infections from running . . . no seriously, I didn't get them before I started running, but I do now, especially if I don't change immediately after a run . . . I'm sure it's the sweatiness) are good for you. I also believe that I am healthier when I take them.  Before I got pregnant, and all through my pregnancy, I was very diligent.  I think it was because of my maternity leave that I quit taking them.  I got out of the habit of getting ready in the morning, and one of my morning routines was to take my vitamins. 

Anyway, I think about it regularly in the morning while I am getting ready, and then I forget as soon as I eat.  Then I think about it before bed as I'm washing my face, but I always liked to take them in the morning, so I don't take them, thinking I will remember tomorrow.  And I never do.  So last Friday I thought about it and decided it didn't matter when I took them, I just need to do it.  So, I wrote the days of the week on my mirror with the intent of x-ing each day that I take them.  And I have remembered since last Friday.  =) 
(I took the picture Monday evening which is why Tuesday and Wednesday [Wednesday is in orange and barely visible] aren't checked off.)

Last year, in March, I hit my first ever 100 miles run in one month.  And then in April I ran 116 miles.  And I started thinking that I could definitely run 100 miles a month, however, in January and February I had only ran 91(ish) miles, so I knew that I couldn't make a goal of doing 100 miles every month in 2013, so I decided to try to do 1200 miles (an average of 100 miles/month) for the year.  And then I got plantar faciitis, and I knew that wasn't going to happen.  Instead of letting go of that goal, I just carried it on to 2014, knowing that I could start out with 100 miles and wouldn't have to make up miles in the middle of the year to try to reach my goal. 

However, obsessing over how many miles I NEED to do in order to reach this goal has been wearing on me.  In February I NEED to run 25 miles a week, if I don't I will not reach 100 miles.  That means 5 days of at least 5 miles per day.  I do run a long run on the weekend, so I can run only 4 miles one or two days and still reach it.  Somewhere along the way it became NEEDING to run because of how many miles I NEED, instead of WANTING to run because I LOVE it.  And I don't like that feeling at all. 

Last year, before PF hit, I was doing zumba once a week, and I loved it.  The studio I go to has done a lot of growing and is now offering Insanity classes, which I am interested in doing.  However, if I go to 2 Insanity classes a week, or an Insanity class and a zumba class, than I NEED to cut back on my running, and that means not hitting 100 miles/month.  Last year I was doing 5 days of running and one day of zumba, with one day off.  At the end of April I started doing the Insanity videos 6 days a week, and I did that on top of running 5 days a week. I could do that again, I liked doing that, but right now, I kinda feel like that is too much for me. 

I feel like my fitness NEEDS to evolve past just running.  I would really like to do some weight training, but I cannot afford a gym membership.  I am thinking that the Insanity classes at my zumba studio may be what I should start doing.  (I just NEED to force myself out of my bed at 5:45am, to get there by 6am [yuck!!].)

I don't want to completely give up the goal of 100 miles, not yet, so that means I have to act as if I am going to continue doing it so that if I decide not to give up that goal, then I won't regret not pushing myself.  Anyway, that is where my head is right now.

All that in my head yesterday made me not want to run.  I NEEDED to run yesterday because I promised Chris I would take today off so he could go metal detecting.  I played with several different scenarios in my head of how many miles I NEEDED to run (there's that word again) in order to still make 25 miles this week.  I decided I could do 4 miles and then 5 the rest of the week.  However, I ended up doing 5 miles, that way, I can cut back later in the week if I want to. 

I may try out the Insanity class tonight.  It starts at 5:45pm tonight, so that's after dark and Chris won't complain about me taking up his metal detecting time.  If I like it, I may start doing it 2 times a week in the morning (if I can force myself up that early) next week.  Morning classes would be good because then I can still run in the afternoon if I NEED to. 

Do you ever make your fitness goals a NEED instead of a WANT and get burned out? 

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