Thursday, September 19, 2013

Eating better

This last weekend we bought a potty chair for Maddox.  I'm not too thrilled about potty training, but I am thrilled about not having to change diapers.  Anyway, because our bathroom is so small, I had to move the scale so I could put the potty chair in.  --Also, the batteries are dying in the scale, so it's not always working properly.  --So I haven't been weighing myself as much as I used to.  Plus, I've been pretty discouraged that my weight has been fluctuating between 150-152. 

Well, for whatever reason on Tuesday I decided to weigh myself in the morning.  This was after Damian's birthday dinner on Monday.  (We had crab, shrimp, twice baked potato, and cheesecake with ice cream.)  Well, my weight was up 4 lbs, which was pretty much unacceptable to me.  Just because I can't run, doesn't mean I'm allowed to gain weight.

I have noticed that the 30 min on the row machine and the 15 min on the elliptical, do not burn as many calories as 45 min of running.  I hate that.  I would rather be out there running.  So, I think because of my denial that I can't run, I have continued to eat as if I am running.  This is not working for me. 

Tuesday after I weighed myself, I decided that I needed to tighten up my eating.  I cannot continue to have "just one" small candy.  I cannot have "just a small handful" of runts.  (These are temptations that are in my office.)  I cannot have 3 glasses of wine every most nights.  (I really shouldn't be drinking that much anyway.) 

So, after just Tuesday of eating better, no candy, less wine, my weight was back down yesterday morning.  I log my food into myfitnesspal everyday, but I don't always look at more than just the calories (which have been bad the last 2 weeks or so).  Since it's pretty much impossible to lose 4 lbs in one day, I went back to Monday's food log.  The crab I ate had 3,644g of salt. That is ridiculous!  That is why my weight was up so high.  (I actually don't know how accurate that is, but what I read, no matter what, crab legs have pretty high sodium content.)

I am not a big fan of a no/low carb diet, I like bread, and I like baked goods.  I have gotten to the point where I can say no to a donut, or eat half of a donut, so I feel like I'm not in danger when I do eat things like that.  I have also always been a fan of eating how I will eat forever, and in my life that just doesn't mean I'm willing to give up the baked goods forever.  I know some people can and do, but I am not there.  However, I have decided that I should cut back on the carbs for now.  I have been trying to eat mostly protein since Tuesday (I started halfway through the day).  (This is not as simple as you may think.)  But in order to stop the trend of weight gain because I'm not burning nearly as many calories as I did when I was running everyday, I feel this may be a good option for me, for now. 
Yesterday I did have a tortilla.  It was leftovers from dinner the night before, but other than the banana at breakfast (I did not know banana's were so high in carbs) and the bits of potato that I failed to see (and pick out of) in the beef stew Chris made last night, those are the only carbs I've consumed in the last 36 hours.  And I would have to say I'm surprised at how not hungry I am.  Yesterday when I got home from the gym I was looking around for something to eat because dinner wasn't quite ready, and then I realized I wasn't hungry. I did end up eating a hard boiled egg a little bit later because I was a little hungry and I wanted to eat less stew.  (Chris believes in high-fat foods when he cooks, don't even get me started on his cream of potato soup.)

The time of day that kills me, is the evening after dinner.  I think everyone has this issue (okay, maybe not everyone, but most everyone).  This is when my wine intake goes up as well.  I have a glass with dinner, and then want another one later.  Last night, I had one (okay, it was large because I was trying to get rid of it, so probably 2) glass of wine with dinner.  But then I wanted another bottle later in the evening.  I'm glad I didn't have more open, because I probably would have caved if I did.  Plus, the cheesecake and ice cream we had for Damian's birthday was really calling to me.  Oh, and don't forget the chips and salsa I wanted to devour.  So I got a bottle of cold water from the fridge and drank that. . . and then had another one . . . and then went to bed.  As I was guzzling the last bottle of water before bed, I realized this probably wasn't the greatest idea . . . but I only woke once, which is pretty normal for me.  =)

Since I am driving my old toyota without tail lights, I have been trying to drive less than I normally do, so I'm not going home at lunchtime.  Yesterday, since Chris had the day off (his normal day off) I decided to go straight to the gym after work.  I got there, got undressed, and realized I had no sports bra.  Ugh!  So I had to go home, changed there, and drove back to the gym.  As I was walking in, I realized I didn't have my phone.  Grrr!  So back home I went (because I CANNOT workout without something in my ear).  By this time I was ready to scrap the whole workout.  I didn't want to drive back to the gym, I didn't even want to work out.  I really longed to just go home and go for a run, it's so much easier.  But I went BACK to the gym and got on the row machine, which I hated every second of.  In fact, I decided to only do 15 min on the row machine and 30 min on the elliptical.  (I've been doing 30 on the rower and 15 on the elliptical.) 

I went much slower on both machines yesterday.  My total miles ended up being around 3.75, instead of the 5.2 I have been doing, but at that point I didn't care.  I just wanted to get it done and leave.  Which I did.  I had planned to do a kettlebell work, but because it took me an extra 45 min to actually get to the gym (I'm not exaggerating, and I live and work fairly close to the gym) I skipped that too.  I just wasn't into it yesterday.  But I don't regret going.  No, I walked away knowing that I didn't want to do it, but did it anyway, even if it was "easier" than normal, it was harder mentally.  Really, going to the gym is much harder mentally than physically.  I don't like it.

You know, it suddenly hit me that maybe I'm not working out long enough.  When I used to go to the gym (years and years ago) I went for an hour.  Then a year and a half ago (after not going to the gym for a couple years) I started running outside, and suddenly my "workouts" became shorter because I couldn't run far.  My runs have become longer, but they're still not normally an hour long, and I've been okay with that because I burn so many calories running.  I've been so discouraged about working out for 45 min (a good 5+ mile run) but I think I need to change my thinking.  I can't run, I have to workout harder and longer. 

I am really looking forward to my personal trainer assessment and appt.  I hope he can give me some different ideas for my workout.  I can see that if I have to do the rower and the elliptical for 2 months (let's hope it's not that long . . . or longer!) I may go crazy.

So, I don't know if this is a fluke . . . I don't know if my scale was a little uneven (it happens a lot in my bathroom because the tiles aren't even) or if it's true.  I had other things on my mind and didn't move my scale to double check, but I saw a really awesome number on the scale today.  148.2  The more I think about it, though, the more I think the scale was uneven.  Today I'm going to eat good (I've already turned down a bagel {yum!!} and some Panera pastries) and tomorrow is my official weigh-in, which I'm going to do for the first time in a long time. 

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