Monday, June 17, 2013

Lessons learned

My weekend did not start out well, at all.  It all started on Thursday when I got a very unhappy email from my sister.  It's a really long story, and it all stems from me finding out last Tuesday that I wouldn't be able to run the half marathon on Saturday.  The story of that is here and I don't really want to repeat it all.  After I figured out on Wednesday that I was going to be able to do the half marathon afterall I sent an email to my Dad asking if he wanted to come watch me anyway, because he had expressed interest in my running in the recent past (and distant past).  I also sent an email to my Mom talking about my hurt feelings and such.  Well, I forwarded that conversation to my sister, who I am very close to, and also told her that I invited my Dad up to watch me if he wanted.

Well, to make a very long story short, she took offense to some of the wording in my Mom's emails to me and then was upset that my Dad was planning on coming up to watch me run because she had made plans (my Dad didn't know about the plans, they weren't a surprise, she just hadn't told him yet).  She sent out one of those emails, you know, the kind where everything said is polite, but it's obviously sent in anger.  So I called her.  Yeah, that went very poorly, let's just say I was called "selfish" and it was thrown in my face that I have "the grandkids" and she doesn't, so obviously I am more important than her (she is unable to have kids even after years of infertility treatments and one attempt at adoption in where the baby died just before being born).  I ended up on the phone with both my Mom and Dad and it was decided that they would come to my house for Damian's 8th grade graduation on Friday and leave after the celebration lunch, which meant that Maddox's birthday party was canceled (did I mention Maddox turns 2 tomorrow [6/18] and we were going to do an early party so my parents could be there?).  And neither one of them was going to come to my half marathon.

I was very upset.  I tried not to let my family know how upset I was, but I was very upset.  I cried many times that evening, and after I told Chris the whole story he got mad and was going to call my sister and my Dad and yell at them.  I didn't think that would be helpful, but it is so nice to know that he "has my back."  =)  (He didn't call them, and that's a good thing even though a small part of me kinda wanted him to.)  I think what hurt me the most was after the decision was made that my Dad would not be coming up to cheer me on in my race, my sister suddenly was back to her friendly self.  It was as if since she got her way, everything was fine.  It definitely felt like there was no consideration for my feelings at all.

There was so much more that happened that evening, including another email from a different sister and then several texts from Nancy (the one from above) asking if we were still doing Maddox's birthday party Friday evening.  What?!  I was told that was canceled, well, apparently it wasn't and I was supposed to make cupcakes and get everything ready at 8pm for the party Friday evening. 

(I really am trying to keep this short, I have a whole race to talk about.)   =)

Anyway, on Friday I had to put aside all the hurt feelings and everything from just the night before and celebrated Damian's 8th grade graduation.  My family is royalty at avoiding conflict and stuffing hurt feelings down (just to let them build and blow up at some future date).  I am no different.  Stuff, stuff, stuff . . . but thankfully I have running.  I am able to go running and usually let those feelings go.  Thursday's run was much needed, however, the feelings were still too raw and painful and I have to admit, I am still stuffing a bit.  This blog also helps, and while I realize some of this is very personal stuff about my family that they would not particularly want shared, I would rather type it out and let it go, then let it simmer until it boils.

D's graduation ceremony was supposed to be 2 hours long.  Why do they need to have a two hour long 8th grade graduation??  Let me just say that a principle of a middle school should know better than to make a really long, boring speech at an 8th grade graduation.  Thankfully the student speakers were pretty entertaining, including one girl who made it very, very, very clear that it would be a "bad decision" (that was said at least a dozen times in her short speech) to drop out of school and make "bad decisions."  Because, if you drop out of school from "bad decisions" such as drugs, drinking, partying, pregnancy, etc., you will probably end up working at some fast food restaurants (she named Every. Single. One and what you would make there).  My favorite part was where she said "making chalupas at Taco Bell" in her list of fast food restaurants.  =)  Seriously, she was very, very adamant about her topic, which just made you wonder what sort of life experience she had or had seen that prompted her speech.

He wasn't happy I kissed his cheek.  =)

Anyway, once the ceremony was over we went to lunch, it was one of those Japanese places where they make your food in front of you. Of course, Damian's choice.  =)

Chris got off work in the late afternoon, and we had dinner and opened Maddox's birthday presents and had cake (no cupcakes as I thought it was canceled so I didn't go get everything I needed to make them, thankfully I had stuff to make a cake). 


My family went back to my sister's house, and there were no harsh words, or tears cried while they were there.  Everything is back to "normal" and I have learned some valuable lessons.  1.  My family is not interested in watching me run.  At. All.  2.  We will continue to stuff, stuff, stuff.  But most importantly, 3. Chris is amazing, supportive and loves me.  4. I have the best 14 year old 8th grade graduate I could possibly think of.

This is way too long already, so I'm thinking you're all gonna have to wait for my race report.  Sorry . . . but I promise I will write it tomorrow.  =)


  1. Cathy,

    I tried to find your blog on BlogLovin', but can't find you! You've got to "claim" your blog on there so I can easily follow you through the BlogLovin' app :)

  2. Okkkaaaay I directly copied your link and found you there, I am dumb! :)

    PS.) You look great. Can't wait to read your race report!